Shit Ferns says #15

Random things I’ve said recently, no context.

I eat pretty healthy for someone who doesn’t cook.
For example, last night I had cheese and gherkins for dinner, soooo….

I appear to have burnt my face off

I never end up making it because I am a master fuck-arounder-er

I AM BRIGHT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, BITCH!

We got rocks thrown at us & chased by a group of men for kissing in the street

…my human skin will slough off and reveal the lizard underneath

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING BREAK HER, BITCH!

Normal-socialising people are really nice

Bahahahaha. I don’t know

Continue Reading
Loves: 5
Please wait...
Read More

Vanilla dating and me

I texted the vanilla man I asked out last year. I know it’s been FOR-EVAAARR, but he was still on my mind. Enough time has passed for him to deal with the stuff that was going on in his life, so I figured he was worth another nudge.

I also optimistically rejoined a vanilla dating site. Cue the usual ‘wtf is WRONG with people’ type messages:

Hi how are you feeling now love feel free to talk to me anytime you want to okay love my name is [nobody cares] and I would like to talk to you please

Continue Reading
Loves: 10
Please wait...
Read More

e[lust] #116

Welcome to Elust 116

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #117? Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Space Between Us

Language Matters

Extraordinary Hands

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Chips

I believe I can fly.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Continue Reading
Click to show some love
Please wait...
Read More

Balance in F/m voices

It’s hard to write about the issues I have with the lines blurring between professional and lifestyle Dommes without sounding like I’m anti sex workers.

But I’m not. I think pro-Dommes are amazing.

I think skilled, ethical real-world pro dominants do an awesome and valuable job. The good ones invest considerable time, energy, and money into their craft, their spaces, their equipment and into making sure their clients get what they paid for, both physically and emotionally. I think it’s a difficult job, and they deserve every penny of the money they make.

I think skilled, ethical online pros also … Continue Reading

Loves: 31
Please wait...
Read More

The value of the ‘fuck yeah!’

The contact with lovely man I had a cute chat with at the BDSM event didn’t go anywhere and a friend asked me ‘well why don’t you contact him again?’

Because there’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there.

I was the one who made the approach to talk to him at the event, I was the one who asked for his contact details, we exchanged a couple of friendly emails after the fact. I sent the last one, to which he didn’t reply. There’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there from him. So why would I go after him? Pro-tip: I wouldn’t.

I have … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
Please wait...
Read More

Dommely beauty routine

Sometime soon-ish, the Masocast podcast will be publishing my third (THIRD!) interview :).

It’s been recorded already, but editing and post-production is a full time job (not for me, for the fabulous @UnspeakableAxe who creates the podcast).

We asked Twitter peeps for questions just before the interview and one was ‘what is your beauty routine?’ I can’t find that question now to credit the asker, but I know Axe did ask me, and I also know I didn’t answer it in any meaningful way (because it’s kind of dull and detailed and off-topic). So where else would I do ‘dull … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Podcast #104 [Audio]

© 'Legs' photo by and of Ferns. Music by M.M. Transcript by MFMWKE.

Welcome to another episode of ‘Ferns drinks champagne and talks…’ Topics include:

  • Some personal questions (about fantasies, singledom & happiness)
  • How to find a domme
  • Tips on confidence for a newbie dominant
  • Why some offers of ‘submission’ aren’t as appealing as you think they are
  • Is this abuse?
  • How to punish your submissive
  • Sissies and cuckholding, a misunderstanding
  • A porn reading
  • And more!

Fun facts:
1. Those legs in the photo ARE mine, yes and
2. The ‘shut up and sit down’ voice in the intro music IS me

All me, all the time :).

The Domme Chronicles podcast is Continue Reading

Loves: 4
Please wait...
Read More