I’ve been struggling with motivation.
I have a food alarm that goes off every few hours (fucking thing!) so that I eat more regularly. I’m having more protein. I *think* it’s making a difference in that I have been lifting some heavier weights, but the heavier weights might have happened anyway… who knows?!?!!
I bought some new gym pants and running shoes. I figured after 6 months of wearing the same gazillionty-year-old ones, I deserved some new and shiny, plus I thought new goodies might give my interest a bit of a kick back up.
The gym pants are made of a ‘wicking’ fabric: thin, stretchy, and clingy, they show every flaw and jiggle. I know I have complained about not really *seeing* my progress, but I know 100% for sure that I would not have worn them 6 months ago without a big t-shirt over the top. Today I wore them to the gym with a tank top and didn’t think a thing of it (except “Really, I’m wearing a catsuit to the gym…AGAIN?!”). This is proof of progress *in my own mind*, so yay!!
My lack of motivation has not impacted my *going* to the gym, so I’m pretty smug about that. I still go 5 times a week (plus pilates twice a week). I am just whiny about getting there and sluggish when I *am* there. Today after quite a bit of ‘blah’ over the last few weeks, I felt awesome for the first time in ages: strong, energetic, raring to go. Totally *raaawwrrr*.
I took that to the gym and had a great workout.
Thing is, I don’t know why I have ‘the kick-arse’ on some days and totally not on others. If I could figure that out, it would really help a lot because I could just *do that thing* and get on with it.
I discussed with a fellow gym-bod the idea of watching porn and taking that energy to the gym*. I haven’t done it yet, but I get the idea. I get helped along by encouragement from some of my workout crew on twitter, which is awesome (thank you!). But I get inspired to push by beautiful boys.
Sometimes it’s the pretty thing firing my imagination with message-flirting, or I can draw a mental picture of him working out (how can that NOT be inspiring, and fucking HOT?!) or ‘see’ him dancing wildly (this helps me with cardio, I don’t even know how my brain works). Or sometimes it’s watching some fit, strong man doing slow deliberate lifts to failure in front of me. Both give me energy-shots that make me work harder. I just need to figure out how to harness that kind of inspiration reliably instead of in an ad hoc manner.
Obviously I just need to bring some pretty to the gym with me. Easy!
* I looked for studies that talked about this, but it seems to be a myth (ref: The anabolic effect of dirty films). Must do some testing.