The pretty thing has a beautiful mouth, truly. Full, shapely and pillowy soft. I want to post a photo of it, and even though I know he would be okay with it, it just seems too personal right now.
I joked on twitter that I was going to post an update about him along with a photo, but “…the photos make me stupid… Words… gone… just… …fuck!!!!”
I followed up with “If I get drunk enough, I will just post a photo of the pretty thing with no text, maybe just “guh… gggmmmffgghhh…””
So where are we?
He is working long hours at two jobs and has been volunteering in the aftermath of Sandy… he is overwhelmed with ‘stuff’. Our contact has become more sporadic.
My weekend away with the switch hurt him deeply, though I don’t think it was the weekend itself as much as it was the fact that it solidified the reality that I might actually meet someone at some stage.
Obviously, I don’t want him to be hurt, but at the same time, I am not cloistering myself for a boy half way around the world who I have never met. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have invited him to come here and I would love it if he did, but he has shown me no solid plans. I am not holding my breath.
Our interactions have stuttered and slowed somewhat. I have laid cards on the table and he hasn’t picked them up. I won’t go into the whys and wherefores, suffice it to say that I have changed my expectations of him.
I like him very much, and there is something about him that has lodged him firmly in my head. He is a unique and compelling combination of interesting qualities, but it is his contradictions that hold my attention. He is both wise and stunningly naive, full of wide eyed optimism yet cynical, bold but shockingly shy. He is fascinating to me, like a strange exotic creature that runs at full gallop at an insurmountable object in one moment, then gets skittish at nothing in the next.
I have reframed ‘this thing’ that we have in light of our reduced level of interaction. I was developing expectations of him, but I have let them go. When we interact it is lovely and fun and incredibly sweet, and when we don’t, that’s okay. It is bitter-sweet to miss him when we aren’t in touch.
And then, there’s this…
Oh. My. Fucking. God… guh… gggmmmffgghhh… *faints with pleasure*