Sometimes I send unsolicited profile advice out into the world to submissive men who seem sincere, but who are not presenting themselves at all well. The email is usually triggered by them attracting my attention in some way (an interesting comment in a discussion, them showing up in ‘who’s viewing me’ on CM, or something similar). This leads me to take a look at their profile, where sometimes, I get that confused look on my face (“Eh?”), or sometimes I do a big double facepalm, and I just know that they have no idea that they are doing themselves a huge disservice with their presentation.
There is no ‘one fits all’ way of doing a profile of course, and I’m no expert, but I know what I like and have seen enough comments from other dominant women to have a reasonably good idea of what will work and what really really won’t.
There is a veritable goldmine of profile advice out there, much of it formulaic (which I hate, personally but which is useful for those who *really* have no idea), so I am really only adding to the noise.
Profiles are essentially a form of marketing, and if I was your marketing consultant (and IF you are looking for an actual relationship (big assumption here)), I’d be suggesting that what you want to convey, really is something akin to this:
I’m a fabulous catch, ladies, here’s who I am (insert your stellar qualities below):
- Hellishly funny
- Interesting personality
- Emotionally stable
- Well rounded
- Great social skills
- Have a life
- Someone you will be proud to introduce to your friends
- … oh, all that, and I’m submissive… boo ya!
Note that I said that you want to convey that, not make a list like I have done above. It really doesn’t work to say “I’m funny”: BE funny. Don’t say “I’m well read”: Talk a little about your favourite books. Don’t say “I’m interesting”: BE interesting etc etc. Give your target market readers enough to pique their interest and THEN go that one step further to leave them thinking: ‘Hmmm… ok, I’d like to know more about him…’
You are putting yourself in the same basket with every other submissive if you say “I’m a submissive who wants blah blah etc”. Really, most women don’t want ‘a submissive’, they want a fabulous man *who submits to them*… big difference. I assume from your side, you want a fabulous woman to whom you can submit, vs ‘a Domme’ who you will submit to because, well, she’s a Domme!
Also (do I need to say it? I do! *sigh*) NO DICK PICS! Seriously. Just don’t.
Having said all that, I can’t possibly tell anyone how to do one of those ‘hell yeah!’ profiles, the ones that make me go all swoony, the ones that make me want to write a breathless “OMG LOVE!” note to them because, actually, the key for me is “Be a man I want to know, and then present the quirky, original parts of you that make you YOU, not some cookie cutter bunch of blah blah blah that you think women want to hear” (yes, I totally get the irony here, but I can only do what I can do!). But I *can* tell you to use your profile to present a little of *who you are* as a man, friend, partner, because this is your first impression, let it be one that shows you off a little.
If you are curious as to what I consider a good profile, you can look at this thread if you are a member of Fetlife.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again to emphasise how participation and a good profile can work for you: I contacted my last boy out of the blue when a quirky comment he made about movies on Fetlife prompted me to go and look at his details. His profile completely floored me with its intelligence, clever humour, originality and unique approach, and I wrote him a cute little note telling him that I thought it was just about perfect. And so, it began.
For much more detailed practical and actionable guidance for writing a great profile that will help you attract the dominant of your dreams, grab my book: