So I just had a scene with a perfectly nice sub boy, after which he left all smiles and eager to do it again, and I felt … kind of awful and have no interest in seeing him again. I don’t know why, nothing went wrong, and it’s never been an issue with previous people, so that’s upsetting in itself, but now I’m feeling weird and awkward about how to tell him there will be no more, especially when he had such a great time and I don’t think was at all aware that I was having a ‘nice but not great’ time.
Rejecting someone is hard, but that’s life and there’s no way to avoid it (either on the giving OR receiving end). Best case is when neither of you feel ‘it’ and you both just know, and mutually drop it, but that’s pretty rare and from what you’ve said, it seems unlikely that’s going to happen.
My advice: Be as kind and honest as possible, but keep it short.
I suggest some version of “I really enjoyed playing with you, but I’m not feeling the chemistry I need to feel to take it any further.”
If you think it might help him deal, especially if he’s new and unsure, you can add some reassurance that it’s nothing he did or didn’t do, that sometimes it just goes that way. Don’t offer to be friends unless you truly were friends before: If it’s one-sided, I find that thread of hope pretty much always leads to badness in the form of a ‘no really for real’ second rejection and more hurt later down the track.
My lovely readers might have some other suggestions.
Best of luck to you both.