My sent emails XXIX

** I received the incoming email that solicted this response on CollarMe, where the sender’s profile picture is automatically included with any email they send. This sender’s profile picture was of his arsehole pointed at the camera (eeeuuww!).

___

Hello subboywhoever,

Thank you for your email and I do hate to be negative, but receiving your arse in my inbox does not endear you to me. I don’t know you, WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME YOUR ARSE?!!!

I know, I know, you are going to say: “But but… Ferns, I am not showing *you* my arse, I am just showing it… you know… to everyone.”

But WHY, subboywhoever, why? I assume you think the wimmins want to see it? I can assure you that we don’t. Really. No more than we would want to see it if we were walking down the street.  Seriously, MAKE IT GO AWAY!

*sigh*

Ferns

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45 Comments

  1. I call them the putrid pucker shots… and I’ve noticed they are gaining momentum, which concerns me a great deal! Thank you for addressing this serious issue.

    My thought is that if they feel their bunghole is their best feature, then they’ve showed me all I want to know about their personality. Thank you for letting me know your an asshole upfront. However, just a note would suffice!

  2. Hahahaha! Ferns, I just choked on my morning tea. That was really just what I needed (sorry it had to be at the expense of your sensibilities though, ass shots…really?). I’ve luckily managed to avoid those sorts. The worse I’ve gotten is a cock pic.

    Lady D

    1. “That was really just what I needed (sorry it had to be at the expense of your sensibilities though, ass shots…really?)”

      Not just ass… asshole. It is a special kind of offensiveness…

      Ferns

  3. I’m pretty sure this really isn’t even like, “a guy thing” because I cannot fathom the purpose of this. With cock shots at least it makes sense in a idiotic way.
    Women like dick, I should show them how nice my dick is, maybe they’ll want to touch it.
    I can’t even begin to imaging the harebrained logic that tells a guy he should introduce himself to anyone ass first.

    1. “I can’t even begin to imaging the harebrained logic that tells a guy he should introduce himself to anyone ass first.”

      I think it’s as simple as “I wanked when I took these lewd photos, gggnnnnhhhhh… ughhhhh… *fap fap fap* LOOK AT ME *comes*!!!”

      Ferns

  4. “I can’t even begin to imaging the harebrained logic that tells a guy he should introduce himself to anyone ass first.”

    I can only assume it is the sender’s concept of role reversal. Dainty submissive women presumably like seeing manly cock pictures, so they oblige by sending them a picture of one. Strong-willed dominant women like taking men up the ass with a strap-on, so they helpfully send along a picture of their own.

    Harebrained pretty much sums it up.

  5. He might be a perfectly genteel man who simply forgot, when he sent his message of introduction, that his default profile pic was of his ass. No? Not likely?

    I think Peroxide coined a great new expression “introducing yourself ass first.”

    I like that. I’ll never do that, but I’ll find ways to use that expression.

    1. “He might be a perfectly genteel man who simply forgot, when he sent his message of introduction, that his default profile pic was of his ass.”

      Hahahahahehea!! Oh yeah, you are probably right… he probably wonders how that photo even got there!

      Ferns

  6. Some stupid slaves (wanna be’s rather) has this feeling that naked pics of their submission or pride of their family jewels (cock pics) will help them to win a girl/mistress/domina of their dreams. these are the newbies or ‘garbage’ of the bdsm world. just ignore these and avoid wasting time on these ppl. 50% of the ppl who get into bdsm or ‘play’ d/s games doesnt know anything about the lifestyle.

    1. ” has this feeling that naked pics of their submission or pride of their family jewels (cock pics) will help them to win a girl/mistress/domina of their dreams”

      One day, I will genuinely ask them how their feverish imagination plays out this contact.
      “Oh my, your arsehole is the arsehole I have always dreamed of, please be mine!!”

      “just ignore these and avoid wasting time on these ppl.”

      Well, to be clear, it amuses me to reply to them, that’s why I do it. I consider amusing myself to be a perfectly fabulous use of my time.

      Ferns

    1. “Thus why I packed mah ‘net bags and ran FAR FAR away from CollarMe because it’s a cesspool.”

      I don’t blame you, however…

      “It’s good for a laugh sometimes.”

      It so is!

      And I did meet a previous submissive on CM, so I can’t complain about it too loudly.

      Ferns

  7. Lovely! I agree that CM has become a cesspool of the worst sort, However, I did find My dearest boy there about two and a half years ago when there were still some good ones on there.

    So sad that it has come to this. I must have gotten the last keeper!! YAY Me!!

    1. “So sad that it has come to this. I must have gotten the last keeper!! YAY Me!!”

      *laugh* Yay you!!

      Actually, I have some lovely friends from there, and some of them are submales, so I know there are some lovely single boys still floating around there…

      Ferns

      1. “Submales” sounds like they are less male, or bottom feeders. But they are still floating in the cesspool, so I guess it’s just domme jargon.

        1. Those floating ones r them well known SAMS Foxy. And u know that too. U were just trying to stir things up again. Now behave and let these nice people here enjoy their weekend in peace and cuddle up with their future loved ones!

        2. Of course I want everybody to be happy and in love and find themselves good partners! But remembering that “devaluation of submissive men”-thing that was so hot last year, I just thought that it wouldn’t cost me anything to raise my voice on behalf the SAMs that are waiting in the murky waters for a domme to swallow their bait.

        3. ““Submales” sounds like they are less male”

          Ack! I hate to admit that you are right, though it’s not ‘domme jargon’, just pure typing laziness.

          Ferns

        4. Lmao. We n both know that lady from ur video Foxy, as well as her place in the “Domme Wold”. Not that she would be a lazy one. Oh no!

        5. Hehe, yes it sure is a hard-working lady portrayed in that video! And also so good looking that she will disgust and repel the Anti Latex League, who preaches the dusty old gospel according to Bitchy Jones. I guess the world might lose another batch of potential young dommes now.

          Ferns, enjoy a bit of relaxed weekend laziness, while the alpha males struggle in their sink-or-swim competition. Hm… Bubbles? Talk is dirt cheap here on the jolly web, but if I *had* been in your area, I might have considered bringing you a bottle of Domme Pérignon as we now enter your last weeks as a… ehm… single domme!

        6. Of cors that would have been one of the Rosé kind eh? But with that monk in the background and those strict moms of the ALL at the forefront, i’m a little worried if our hostess will succeed in becoming the next rubber nun.

        7. Hahaha! The monk in the background isn’t Dom P, it’s Tommy! The chaste patriarch of the ALL, with his passion for whipping the last breath of life out of the lame old “jokes” about sneering women in leather and latex, when he visits the quality dommes of the blogosphere.

        8. Okay kids, please take your cute banter to a hotel room.

          It is getting into the realm where it always seems to go, which is downhill fast, and I’m not hosting it in my living room.

          Ferns

        9. Yes Mom.

          Come Foxy, time to leave Fern’s house now, and better continue deep down in the valley, avoiding that way her wrath, and possible corner time.

        10. Oui Momme.

          OK, Ayesha, let’s go. The nasty man showed his butt to Ferns and she must get that sorted out before we can come back.

    1. When I find a good one, I tell them to go to Fetlife, which is much more about knowledge sharing, discussion and local contacts than desperate hookups.

      Ferns

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