Shit Ferns says #6

Random shit I spewed out at people.

No zing zing with the pussy pussies!

I will practice a gloat-covered sheepish victory dance

If someone says ‘you are too nice’, they are trying to avoid saying ‘you are boring and have no genitals’.

I am liking leaf number three, leaf number three is obviously superior to leaves number one or two, though they tried their hardest and deserve a little pat for their sub standard efforts. But leaf number three will be my favourite. Leaf number four will have to work hard to outdo leaf number three!!

Because one woman’s girlie

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Shit Ferns says #5

Random stuff, no context…

Suddenly, I will be cunty mcfuckface and you will be all ‘woah! WTF?’ and I’ll be all “Yeah IN YER FACE!!”

DICK! Also, he’s probably RACIST.

I have dubbed the annoying pain in my side ‘Harold’. Harold is short and pudgy and sweaty and very annoying. I have given him a name so I can say things like “Fucking Harold wouldn’t leave me alone today!” or “*sigh* Can’t run, I will wake up Harold”.

…now I have that site plus a google question “How big is an orca’s penis” forever logged against my identity. By the

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Shit Ferns says #3

Random out of context stuff that I have said recently.

It’s its own special ‘thing’, like a ‘thing’ you read about when you read about ‘things’ that aren’t like other ‘things’…

Un-coffeed, I am kind of mean

You totally win injury finger porn wars!!!

I think Hitty McHitty-on-er-ton was over in the other corner with the fit brunette in the tiny shorts…

I think you absolutely *must* say something about your ‘journey’, whine about scammers, fit in at least one ‘lol’ (preferably with no relevant context), one smiley face :) to make you seem like a jolly nice chap, and

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Shit Ferns says… #2

Random, out of context shit I said this week (first one is here). This is laziness recycling at its finest, folks!

Ninja tiger gecko says nothing because hey, NINJA! You can’t even SEE that mofo!

“Take this boring, pedestrian sex, bitch!”

I must collect these things for my ‘crazy old lady’ dotage

Eek! Blinded by the glory of ninja tiger gecko!

Rawwrr! *waggles butt*

I am a dead milkman, only not dead, and not a milkman.

1. Get naked. 2. Cook something, anything, doesn’t matter really…

Tsk tsk, you should have been nude. Duh!

Emails and responses in 140

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Shit Ferns says…

Random things that I said this week, completely out of context:

Trussed and Disembowelled. It’s all in the technique… Slice slice… no nicking the intestine… it’s all good!

I should run classes.

Sternum pads are the new black.

I’m like the Flash ~insert theme music here~

I hope the imaginary squirrel didn’t get drunk on cocktails.

You can Carly-Simon, and then segue into a CCS (Confirmed Carly-Simon)… But you can’t just go straight into a CCS, that makes no sense!

KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS MID EMAIL…!!!!!! OH NOES!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I play a single song on a loop.
Not for

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