Reflections brought home

It rolls into my inbox, my own fault. I have not changed the settings that tell the world to alert me to you being out there.

You are interviewed, photographed, recorded. I read, I look, I listen. I can’t *not* even though I wonder why, really.

I try to place these feelings I have.

It makes me smile, I am so proud of you. I am. Even after so long. I want to reach out and say ‘Well done beautiful, you deserve it’ and in a flight of fancy imagine dropping you a note to say so. I won’t, of … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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Inexperience is hot

I don’t seek out inexperienced submissives, nor do I like submissives *because* of it, but I do love inexperience. It is fresh and sweet and innocent.

When I bring an inexperienced submissive with me into a kind of relationship that he has never been in before, I get to see everything with fresh eyes, as if it’s the first time for me also, and in so many ways, it *is*. I get the incredible privilege of being part of his exploration, I get to watch him as his world expands, I get to see a man who has ‘been there … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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Clothes of boyfriends past

It is cold tonight, and I am, coincidentally, wearing three articles of clothing from boyfriends past.

It is unintentional, and sweet.

My sweatshirt, too big, an unattractive colour really, is one that I grabbed out of my first submissive’s ‘give away’ bag when we were clearing out clothes to take to good will. He probably had it for quite a while before I took it. I plucked it out of the box by the front door.

“I’ll have that,” I said, putting it on.

He looked at me in it.

“It looks good,” he said.

I laughed, twirled.

“It … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Not with a bang but a whimper

In the midst of happy stories, I will sneak in the end of my last chapter, not a happy ending, I am sorry for that (not for you, dear readers, I am selfishly only sorry for me).

This story ended some time ago, really, but for this post to make sense, I have to explain a little further. The breakup with my boy was a combination of distance (and all the challenges that entails), our careers (which didn’t make relocation possible), and the fact that we just weren’t sure enough to discuss the future seriously. There was no … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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I fucking miss you

I spoke of vulnerability before… here it is:

I posted my secret here (yes, it’s old, you know, of course, that I will not reveal the difficult things until they are behind me…!).

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Love: 1
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You are the poem in the trees…

You are the tunes in my head, the fire in my ribs
You are the voice in my heart that whispers compassion

You are the storm on the ocean, poem in the trees
The smell of the winter that haunts me each autumn…

Happy birthday, beautiful.

imyb

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My sent emails XV

This was the first email I sent to my boy waaaayyy back when.

Subject: Your profile

It’s just about perfect. Funny, smart, even more funny, a bit idiotic, clever, totally original and… well, really impressive. I loved it…what a delight you are.

I hope you find what you are looking for. I expect that profile will attract the right attention, hopefully in the right location.

Ferns

A flurry of emails followed after his cute and very funny reply. This is an extract from one that I sent some 3 weeks later:

[…]

I don’t know, of course, what will happen

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