Domination is not the default

N made a comment on this post about how they know when a dominant is able to bring out the sub in them, and asked me some really great questions about how I know when a submissive is right for me:

Can you describe what “it” is for you? Is it the openness? The willingness to give you what you want?

I have had a post brewing about something very close to this for a while now, so I thought I would drag it out into the light.

I don’t feel dominant towards everyone, in fact I don’t feel dominant … Continue Reading

Loves: 4
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Once upon a time…

Once upon a time, a Domme logged into a kink site where she has an account and there was, as always, a boy’s profile on her screen, filtered by her criteria, they always pop up. She takes an idle look. He is funny, irreverent, not kink-focussed. It is exactly the kind of thing she likes. She smiles in amusement at his description and notes the name (for later reference, you know…).

A while later, she gets an email from him in her inbox, they do that, these local boys. She feels a little tingle of interest, it is a strange … Continue Reading

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Mad skillz

I’m sure that quite a few of you have the impression that I am full of the mad dommely skillz.

I’m not.

Technically speaking, I am really rubbish.

You know why?

I don’t care. Seriously.

If I hit a boy with stuff, or bite him, or scratch him, or fuck him, or otherwise play with him, I don’t care if I am elegant, if the strikes are beautiful or if I look fabulous doing it. I can’t do a Florentine flogging (I *so* can’t, and in fact, I am impressed with myself that I even know the term!!), I can’t … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Little boy

I need a man who can let me access the little boy inside. There is something terribly appealing, something precious about that wide-eyed inner child.

It has nothing to do with age play or infantilism, it has nothing to do with being maternal or a mommy figure.

It has to do with innocence and imagination and a sense of wonder. There is a quality in the men I like where they can open up and offer trust to a level that grown ups have forgotten, they do it in a way that makes you imagine that they have never really … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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‘Topping from the bottom’ is bollocks!

‘Topping from the bottom’ (TFTB – yes, truly, I am that much of an acronym geek!) is a term used to describe a situation where a submissive attempts to control the play, the dynamic or the relationship from their submissive position.

It’s a common phrase that has been, and continues to be, abused by all and sundry. It has essentially become a term to cover anything and everything that falls under the umbrella of ‘the submissive is doin’ it wrong’. It is even used to describe a submissive’s behaviour when the Domme and sub aren’t even in a relationship yet!Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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For the IT geeks…

(because no-one else will think this is funny…)

dt100526Continue Reading

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Not for the squeamish…

Given my recent post on torture porn… I give you this:

Seriously, how totally awesome terribly disturbing is that?!! Brilliant!! Disgusting… tsk tsk!!… Continue Reading

Love: 1
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