When vanilla and… not… collide

In the last 24 hours, on two separate occasions, I have told two vanilla men that I write ‘a sex blog’ and given them the name of it *.

That’s two vanilla men who I met while going about my business.

That’s two vanilla men who have my real name and phone number.

That’s two vanilla men who can now peek in here (hello R, L… yes, yes, this post is totally about you!).

That’s two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER (unless my vanilla ex counts… he doesn’t does he? No no, he totally … Continue Reading

Click to show some love
Please wait...
Read More

Taking submission

“If you are a slave in robes, if all you desire is to bend to the will of men, if you have no experience as a dominant personality, then you CANNOT handle me. You have been warned.”

See, I *should* find that profile text silly and petulant and childish.

But, I don’t. At all.

It amuses me, makes me smile. I find it interesting, intriguing, truthful, with an arrogance that is strangely appealing. This is a man who has had some disappointing experiences, one who is strong and confident, one who will not allow himself to be walked over, one … Continue Reading

Loves: 4
Please wait...
Read More

Trust and control

I have been having some discussions recently about specific things that could be interpreted either as testing trust or exercising control. The act is the same, the intent is not.

If you are exerting control because you don’t trust your partner, you have a problem.

Let me say it again…

If you are exerting control because you don’t trust your partner, you have a problem.

Not a little one either, a big huge gigantic problem.

  • Are you putting him in a chastity device to stop him cheating on you?
  • Are you asking for his email or kink site passwords because
Continue Reading
Click to show some love
Please wait...
Read More

House guest

He makes me fresh fruit and vegetable juice in the morning with apples, oranges, celery, zuchinni, beetroot, carrot, pear, ginger…

He cooks fabulous dinners with fresh ingredients… bœuf bourguignon, home made pizza, lamb shanks in red wine, cauliflower and asparagus soup…

He takes out the garbage, puts the bins out on the curb, takes them back in.

He offers chauffeuring… lifts to work, pick up from the train station, errands.

He entertains my sister when I really can’t face it.

He does the shopping, going to the farmer’s market before I am awake, the house is filled with fresh, crispy, … Continue Reading

Love: 1
Please wait...
Read More

Hello, my name is…

Since finding myself single, I have worried a little about how this blog will influence the impression potential submissives have of me. It is not that this is not the ‘real me’, and in fact one of the loveliest compliments I received from my boy was ‘you are exactly how you come across in your writing’… I am gratified by that, a little relieved to know that I didn’t create this ‘persona’ for myself, happy to know that this is not misrepresenting me, glad that this is not a picture of how I *wish* I was, or how I *want … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
Please wait...
Read More

Restless

I have had, largely, a bad year… that is dramatic and ‘woe is me-ish’, but it’s true nevertheless. Some of it I have shared here, some of it I haven’t because, frankly, whining and carrying on is no fun… mostly it is not interesting to write about and I have no doubt that it is not interesting to read about.

I use this blog as a way to take a moment out of the mundane and to bring into the light those snippets that strike me outside of the day to day. They are not always shiny happy moments, but … Continue Reading

Love: 1
Please wait...
Read More

Punishment

My D/s relationships include punishment. Not ‘funishment’ which is playing at punishment for fun (“Naughty boy!” *giggle* Thwak! etc), but punishment… a penalty for getting something wrong.

Punish
–verb (used with object)

  1. to subject to pain, loss, confinement, death, etc., as a penalty for some offense, transgression, or fault: to punish a criminal.
  2. to inflict a penalty for (an offense, fault, etc.): to punish theft.

Ok… not death, obviously (did that need saying? Of course it did!), and I don’t use corporal punishment because that’s too close to play for me. I mostly make him do boring, tedious tasks that … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
Please wait...
Read More