Trust and control

I have been having some discussions recently about specific things that could be interpreted either as testing trust or exercising control. The act is the same, the intent is not.

If you are exerting control because you don’t trust your partner, you have a problem.

Let me say it again…

If you are exerting control because you don’t trust your partner, you have a problem.

Not a little one either, a big huge gigantic problem.

  • Are you putting him in a chastity device to stop him cheating on you?
  • Are you asking for his email or kink site passwords because
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House guest

He makes me fresh fruit and vegetable juice in the morning with apples, oranges, celery, zuchinni, beetroot, carrot, pear, ginger…

He cooks fabulous dinners with fresh ingredients… bœuf bourguignon, home made pizza, lamb shanks in red wine, cauliflower and asparagus soup…

He takes out the garbage, puts the bins out on the curb, takes them back in.

He offers chauffeuring… lifts to work, pick up from the train station, errands.

He entertains my sister when I really can’t face it.

He does the shopping, going to the farmer’s market before I am awake, the house is filled with fresh, crispy, … Continue Reading

Love: 1
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Hello, my name is…

Since finding myself single, I have worried a little about how this blog will influence the impression potential submissives have of me. It is not that this is not the ‘real me’, and in fact one of the loveliest compliments I received from my boy was ‘you are exactly how you come across in your writing’… I am gratified by that, a little relieved to know that I didn’t create this ‘persona’ for myself, happy to know that this is not misrepresenting me, glad that this is not a picture of how I *wish* I was, or how I *want … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Restless

I have had, largely, a bad year… that is dramatic and ‘woe is me-ish’, but it’s true nevertheless. Some of it I have shared here, some of it I haven’t because, frankly, whining and carrying on is no fun… mostly it is not interesting to write about and I have no doubt that it is not interesting to read about.

I use this blog as a way to take a moment out of the mundane and to bring into the light those snippets that strike me outside of the day to day. They are not always shiny happy moments, but … Continue Reading

Love: 1
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Punishment

My D/s relationships include punishment. Not ‘funishment’ which is playing at punishment for fun (“Naughty boy!” *giggle* Thwak! etc), but punishment… a penalty for getting something wrong.

Punish
–verb (used with object)

  1. to subject to pain, loss, confinement, death, etc., as a penalty for some offense, transgression, or fault: to punish a criminal.
  2. to inflict a penalty for (an offense, fault, etc.): to punish theft.

Ok… not death, obviously (did that need saying? Of course it did!), and I don’t use corporal punishment because that’s too close to play for me. I mostly make him do boring, tedious tasks that … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Kissing, is all

I saw a boy today that I wanted to kiss.

On my way to work on the train, he was maybe 40, fit, a little rough, with a strong imperfect face, unconventionally beautiful and serious, wide jaw, furrowed brow, a shock of thick dark messy hair. I stared at him, sunglasses on, I watched him. His face came alive as he talked to a little girl, became sweet, gentle, soft smiles. He had much-regretted tattoos, mostly hidden under his sweatshirt, occasionally he looked my way, once locking on, not really with interest, mild curiosity. I didn’t look away, staring rudely, … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Weightless

Remember now the words she said
It doesn’t seem to put anything in its right place…

She’s got a very twisted mind
And she’s gonna need more time…

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