Happy femdom story: DoubleGemini

This happy femdom story is one that may seem rather familiar because it sounds very much like a typical vanilla love story, except that she’s in charge, and there’s a healthy dose of kink, and here we are :).

Enjoy this loveliness.

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Author: DoubleGemini

The long road to happiness

My femdom journey started all wrong but, I suspect, from a likely common origin. See I knew from my very early years I was dominant, that I wanted a D/s relationship, and that I was into sadism. My disconnect came from thinking everyone was like me and that just wasn’t something that “civilized” people did. I also couldn’t see the flip side of the coin where someone would want to be submissive. I had a very domineering and bossy mother who forced her way on everyone else by whatever means necessary and I absolutely didn’t want to be anything like her. So in my eyes, submission was something given reluctantly and with resentment. I certainly never wanted anyone I loved to feel that way toward me.

I did the logical thing, I married and lived a vanilla life with a man who was my equal. Or at least that’s how it was supposed to go. What I realized, though, was that though I pretty much had free reign to do as I pleased, he was only going along with me if he didn’t care. Once again I seemed to be the one who always gave in when we had differing goals/ideas/even needs… and I was resenting it. So I began to look into D/s in earnest.

That’s when I discovered there were people who were submissive, not because they were weak or beaten down or because they were peace makers looking to avoid arguments but there were people who genuinely wanted to consensually follow someone else’s lead. I tried to make it work in my existing marriage, it failed miserably and rather than becoming more resentful and eventually hating each other, we were eventually divorced.

After a few less than ideally compatible D/s relationships I met a guy online, it was a pretty vanilla dating site and he sent me a message. He was shy and awkward but polite and genuine so I responded. When he asked me out I explained he didn’t want to date me and why. See I had this grand idea in my head that I wanted a relationship where I was not only dominant, I wanted to be the final authority on everything. Much to my surprise, he said that sounded exactly like what he wanted. So we met.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it was love at first site because it wasn’t. At least not for me. To hear him tell it, I put some kind of magical spell on him the first time I looked in his eyes and his soul was lost forever but I assure you my magic love potion was tucked away for later use if necessary.

Our first date was extremely awkward. Shy doesn’t even begin to describe him. He was nervous and hardly talked (which again he blames on me for looking at him) and in my discomfort with the looming silence I rattle on endlessly about anything and everything to fill the void. Eventually through all my rambling we discovered that not only had we grown up near each other, we had several mutual friends.

That date stretched into several dates until I began to realize I was rejecting dates with other existing subs of mine because I hoped/expected he was going to offer. That’s when I knew he was the one and it was time to figure out if this was going to work. We started having the difficult conversations outlining what each of us envisioned our ideal relationship looking like and what we expected from a partner. I honestly expected him to tell me I was crazy and run away. But he didn’t, he agreed with me on almost every point and he was willing to accept the points he didn’t agree on.

We spent a year negotiating. Not negotiating kinks, kinks are easy and we engaged in those enthusiastically right from the start. Some kinks we had were similar, some weren’t. None of those were potential deal breakers. The level of authority I was going to have was a bit more tricky to outline. It required he be able to trust me with every aspect of his life. He had a lot to prove to me, but more importantly, I had a lot to prove to him. I had to be completely transparent with my character and intentions so he could decide if I was capable of making decisions for his life that he could live with.

At the end of the year, we agreed that not only were we in agreement, we really loved each other and wanted to begin this relationship.

A month later I collared him and we were married.

Our agreement was that I would have full authority over every area of his life. There is nothing I can’t make a decision about or veto his choice on. This isn’t micromanagement, I don’t control his every movement. He was a responsible and capable man when we met. Never married and living on his own for nearly a decade. His independence was one of the things about him I found attractive. He didn’t need me to be in charge because he couldn’t manage on his own, he wanted me to take the lead and him to follow. He finds security and serenity from knowing exactly what is expected of him. There is no guesswork for him. He cannot fail unless he deliberately disobeys.

In return I get to be the one to make the decisions. Often that decision is to spoil him and cater to his every whim. He doesn’t have the authority to tell me ‘no’. He can’t tell me he is going to sacrifice himself so I can have what I want. It isn’t his decision to make. Most the time my decisions benefit both of us. And of course, sometimes I have to tell him he isn’t getting what he wants because I’m putting myself first, which I can do without guilt or argument because it’s my decision to make. It’s the relationship I never thought I’d have because I thought to be dominant meant I had to be a bully that pushed others down. See, I’m proof dominants aren’t always right!

At the time of this writing, we have just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. We are a normal married couple. I make mistakes, he makes mistakes, we argue. There are times when the weight of the responsibility I have taken on for our lives feels too heavy. There are times when he hates a decision I have made and he questions why he agreed to submit to me. But we honor our commitments and never regret that choice or consider ending it.

We are very much in love and happier than we have ever been in our lives.

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This post is part of an ongoing project to share positive happy femdom relationship stories. If you’re in a joyful femdom relationship and have a story you’d like to share, I’d be delighted to have it. Please see my call out request for the details, and send it on to me.

If you like this story, you will love my ‘Happy Femdom Stories’ books :).

Happy Femdom Stories Vol 1
Happy Femdom Stories Vol 2

Happy Femdom Stories on Amazon: Volume 1 | Volume 2
Other bookstores: Volume 1 | Volume 2

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12 Comments

  1. I’ve “known” DG online for several years and heard snippets of her story. But this is the first time I’ve heard the whole thing. It’s great to see the big picture.

    The word that jumped out at me is “commitment” — DG and her husband made an agreement and they KEEP the agreement. That’s how I describe my partner as well.

    Thanks, Ferns and DG!

  2. This is a very heart warming story.

    I find DG’s revelation interesting. That being dominant doesn’t necessarily mean being a bully. I wonder how many other women are held back by this sort of misconception?

    As for the sub she ended up with…perhaps he was shy because he expected a male submissive to be scorned?

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