Welcome to Fetlife.
You’re a mature man who presumably has met women before, had relationships, all that jazz.
I know this whole thing with BDSM and all is new to you, but here’s a tip: If you contact women on here, imagine you’re on a vanilla dating site, RSVP, OKcupid, and proceed accordingly.
Think about that for a second. Imagine having no profile information, nothing at all about yourself, no photo, you’re just ‘random internet dude’. Now imagine sending the following email to a woman you like the look of on one of those vanilla dating sites:
> Hi, I’m new to dating and havnt yet added anything in my profile I’m looking for a woman who is wanting a new boyfriend and to teach me how to relationship, a long term/regular partner. I can send you photos, my email [email protected]
You wouldn’t, right? Because it’s bizarre to expect her to be at all interested in any of what you are proposing as ‘internet stranger dude’.
What you WOULD do, at a minimum, is find out something about her from her profile and whatever information is out there about her. Then you’d decide if there are things you like about her, figure out if you might be a good match, then you’d start a conversation designed to pique her interest. You’d be interesting, complimentary, funny, *something* that makes her go ‘ooh, he seems like someone I’d want to talk to’.
I hope that helps.
As a follow-up, I’m happy to say that the recipient of this sent email replied very politely thanked me and said that he took note of what I said. Then he actually filled out his profile, added a photo and etc. So I’m calling that a win :).