After reading a post from a submissive man essentially saying, “I really like this dominant woman, she makes my heart flutter, but I’m concerned that I’m too eager to do the small and insignificant things she asks me for this early in our discussions: I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that”, I reflected a little on the oddness of that.
And it led me to this realisation:
You know what I’ve found?
Vanilla men are often WAAAYYY more secure in being sweet and lovely than many submissive men and as a result, they often do ‘submissive behaviours’ more easily and naturally. It’s weird.
Vanilla man: “Hey, I really like you, LET ME DO ALL THE SWEET AND LOVELY THINGS FOR YOU!!”
Submissive man: “Hey, I really like you. You want what? Maybe I shouldn’t do that. She will think I’m weak. I’m not ready to submit yet. Is this submission? I should stop doing that. Does she want my money? Why did she ask for that? Should I do what she asked for? I’m not HER submissive. Am I doing this right?” and etc.
Gross generalisations, I know, and I’m pre-emptively inserting all the caveats here (and pointing out specifically that this does NOT apply to any of my friends)… ~caveat caveat~.
But still, as far as generalisations go, my experience does bear that out.
I’m not going to parse out the possible reasons why (not least of which is my own skewed and limited sample size): I’m just going to leave this here for contemplation.