At the dog park, I pointed out to e how his dog would run enthusiastically up to a group of dogs, and then she would stand there on the edge and see who was interested in playing with her. A kind of “Here I am, everyone… I’ve done my thing, now if you want to play with me, you have to come to me” thing.
e looked at me. “That’s just like you…”
I looked back at him.
He said, “You really only want to be with someone who really really wants to be with you.”
“Um, yeah… of course!”
We didn’t discuss it any further, but it has stuck with me for reasons I can’t quite fathom.
It was a statement of fact, and it’s totally true. But it’s hardly a revelation. What’s the alternative? Not just for me, but for anyone?
Is the other option being with someone who only ‘sort of’ wants to be with me, someone who is ‘making do’, someone who I have to *convince* to be with me? How would that even work?
I only want to be with someone who madly crazily stupidly wants to be with me, someone for whom being without me is unthinkable, unacceptable. Someone whose heart leaps in his chest when I enter the room, who looks at me with ‘that look’, that one that makes me melt from the inside. Someone who really *really* wants to be with me.
So yeah, that’s totally like me.
Except for the random butt sniffing part.
If he sniffs my butt, I’m done.