When I wrote about strap-on harnesses (yeah, like anyone forgot, cock perves!), I took out my toybox (which I *wish* was a fabulous carved old wooden trunk that sat mysteriously in my bedroom all sexy-like, but is actually a bright orange lockable Samsonite suitcase that I hide under the bed) so that I could check the construction of one of my harnesses to answer a commenter’s post.
The suitcase has since been sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor because I am lazy, and I have managed to smash both my big and little toes into it while stumbling around in the dark, having completely forgotten it was there… twice.
Given the trauma and pain, the only way to make the experience worthwhile is to use the opportunity to do a toy inventory, because my poor memory means that I have no idea what is gathering dust in there (okay, in a locked suitcase it doesn’t really gather dust, but metaphorically, those toys are like dusty old bones that some archaeologist found on a dig in central Siberia…).
So here it is in random order (yes, yes I could order it in some orderly fashion like an order-obsessed control freak, but I’m not, so I didn’t, okay?! Though I might. Later. If it bugs me enough. It’s bugging me already. If it’s in some sort of order by the time you read this, I gave in to this impulse to make order out of chaos, but I tried to resist… I did…!).
Note: Where it’s a branded toy, I’ve linked to the exact toy. If it’s unbranded and I don’t know where I got it, I tried to find a ‘best match’. Links are not endorsements, please do your own research for quality and cost.
- Njoy steel pure wand (possibly the most beautiful (and heavy!) sex toy EVER)
- Lelo Ella
- Don Wand glass dildo with shimmery helix (oh god, so pretty!)
- Don Wand glass helix dildo with handle
- Don Wand blue bubble glass dildo
- Tantus strap-on harness
- Sportsheets Bare as You Dare strap-on harness
- Spareparts Jocque strap-on harness
- Doc Johnson black butt plugs (one small, one medium)
- Practice golf balls (don’t judge me!)
- The Swatter electronic insect terminator
- Latex-free disposable glove
- Blindfolds (many: from molded ones to pure silk to polyester airline-issue freebies)
- Box of 100 sterile 21g needle (missing quite a few :))
- Sterile swabs
- Ping pong paddles (you know, just in case we want a quick game!)
- Really scary huge all-in-one vibrating harness/strap-on bought on the recommendation of a reader (who never mentioned how frigging huge this thing is!). ETA: I later learned that this thing was of the ‘toxic toys’ variety, so I threw it out and I’m not linking it.
- Cute little Tantus silk butt plug in pink (should have a pig’s tail on it!)
- Tantus ripple (small) in gold
- Crystal-looking ball gag
- Small 5′ vibrator in purple
- Tube of Deep Heat
- Wartenberg wheel
- Clover clamps
- Tantus dildo, medium in purple
- Carpet beater
- Cuffs, leather, for wrist and ankle
- Collars, leather and nylon (pet stores are useful for play collars)
- Leashes, metal and nylon
- Lube (Astroglide, Sliquid Silk)
While I am here… also hanging up behind my bedroom door:
- Bullwhip (I do NOT know how to use this thing)
- Leather flogger (various)
- A small bread board (cheese board)
- White nylon rope flogger (made by my boy)
- Olive nylon rope flogger (made by my boy)
- Large round shoelace flogger
- Spiked leather strap (not really like this, but while I’m a link whore, I am also lazy so this will have to do)
- Barbed wire and suede flogger in tan
- Very light suede flogger in red
- Heavier suede flogger
- Evil stick (carbon fibre thin mean flicky caney thing)
- Small and most evil beaded plastic flogger with nodules along the tails
- 3 rattan canes of different widths and flex
- Small sharp stingy flogger
- Short length hemp rope
- Various lengths and sizes of nylon rope
Tired now. Nap time.