Hot play

I can’t post this without a tedious and long winded explanation… God forbid you should just have a hot little video to enjoy without me blathering in your ear!

Femdom porn sucks. Really. I have never found any that I enjoy, and I have looked, believe me. It’s just not hot to me. It neither reflects my extreme, violent, unrealistic fantasies, nor does it at all represent the hotness, connection, complexity and nuance that makes it work for me on a more realistic level.

There is never any lust, any passion, any connection, any true hotness in it… she is cold and mean, he is suffering… ho hum. Mostly it’s because… well… porn actors can’t act and the scripts they are given are awful stereotypical femdom rubbish. Porn actors aren’t hired for their acting skills… they are hired because they will get their bits out and wave them around on film.

And then… then… I saw this…

It is not porn, it is obviously a clip from a movie. *This* is probably the closest to what play feels like for me that I have ever seen… it is not perfect, but THIS I can relate to.

What’s right with it:

  • Kissing!!!! Kissing kissing kissing!
  • They obviously have lust for each other, they **WANT**
  • Passion… the heat is palpable
  • Teasing (“Want this kiss? Oh no, I don’t think so…”)
  • She touches him for her sensual pleasure… Mmmmm…
  • She is turned on, not sneering and hateful, she loves this, she enjoys him
  • His fear and pain and anticipation is an integral part of this passion
  • He is reactive in a beautiful way, yearning and reaching and flinching
  • They reach for each other, you see craving on both sides

What’s wrong with it:

  • He is obviously telling her what to do, she seems new, that’s ok, but I wanted her to get all forceful and controlling with him
  • Oh come on! Hit him properly!!! Gah! Don’t be flailing with it like it’s a wet towel *sigh*
  • Ummm… hit him again… more more harder harder… look at him reacting… he’s lovely… let’s see some more of that!! Yummy!
  • Her face when she hits him is suddenly unhappy, angry… shame
  • Where is the sexyhungrycrazy escalation… it is all much too short and there is no build up of intensity… add *that* to *this* and we have a winner!

http://youtu.be/wqlcNt1qh3g

Edited to add: A commenter kindly identified the movie: it’s called Amorestremo 

If you can identify the movie, you get… ummm… kudos and a virtual cookie!

P.S. Please don’t send me links to porn that you think is good unless it’s more of *this*because I can promise you that I will not like it…

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33 Comments

  1. Sadly porn is a male driven industry. If you think about it so is vanilla entertainment too. Why do you think romantic comedies are called chick flicks.

    A femdom tease and denial search leads to some worth watching. (but only after an extensive search through the usual sterotypical bitch in leather ones) Found one where the wife had her husband tied to the kitchen table. At least the dynamic was interestingly explored if not the passion (no kissing).

    After reading your post i wanted to be the one to find you a worthwhile passionate display. Boy was I angered by what I found searching sensual femdom. Arrgggghhh…

    Maybe with the advent and popularity of FLR's now, this may change but I fear not in my lifetime.

    Steve

  2. Someone needs to convince Nina Hartley to do a Femdom movie.

    Some of the clips produced by the folks who used to publish Cruella have convincing sadism. But real affection is very hard to find.

    I think there were elements of that in some parts of Roman Polanski's Bitter Moon. But only for a short part of the film.

    And in Preaching to the Perverted. But I found the movie unsatisfactory overall.

  3. Steve: “After reading your post i wanted to be the one to find you a worthwhile passionate display. Boy was I angered by what I found searching sensual femdom. Arrgggghhh…”

    Ha! Once you start looking with a different eye, the whole lot is one big bucket of fail.

    And actually I would like to see hot pain-focussed porn also, but it has to be passionate, I want to see hotness… not cold 'thwak thwak ouch ouch' *yawn*.

    Mostly, I want to see *her* genuinely getting turned on and him offering up some open and vulnerable reactions… doesn't seem to much to ask does it?!

    Ferns

  4. John: “…Nina Hartley… Cruella… real affection is very hard to find… Roman Polanski's Bitter Moon… Preaching to the Perverted….”

    Thank you, John, for the snippets, and yes, I agree, finding affection is difficult. For me, it doesn't need to be affection per se, but genuine *passion*.

    I want her to want him so badly that she tries to tear him apart, to get inside him through his skin. I want to watch his head explode with desire and pain and fear. Doesn't seem too much to ask for does it?

    Ferns

  5. Anonymous: “Ummm… that WASN'T hitting him properly???”

    This so made me laugh!

    And no, she was kind of half heartedly slapping in his general direction with it…

    She did, though, look very good as she did it!

    Ferns

  6. “And no, she was kind of half heartedly slapping in his general direction with it…”

    Oh I see now. Yup. Absolutely.

    Ma'am, may I ask if there are any laws about aggravated assault charges where you live? Because you're really meant to tell the judge that you're sorry and it won't happen again. Saying he still had some blood left isn't really a defence.

    Perhaps you could post the full video if you find it? In the interests of further enlightened discourse. Also I want to see what she does next. I say what “she” does next because he's really got pretty limited options.

    Serious comment? I was recently watching (by my standards) a more extreme video and I picked up on how completely possessive towards the victim the leather-dress lady was. Have you noticed how they tend to “circle” the male victim? I think it's completely instinctive but the circling and intense attention towards the victim really is marking their territory with their meat… I mean man.

    For me the whole possessiveness of the woman is the sexy thing. Also how intensely they EXAMINE to see the effect they're having on their victim.

    But don't tell anyone I was watching something naughty.

  7. Anonymous: “Saying he still had some blood left isn't really a defence.”

    But but… your honour… he still had some blood left!!! (“…get up, boy, you're not hurt!!”)

    “Perhaps you could post the full video if you find it? In the interests of further enlightened discourse…”

    If I find it, I will certainly let you know what it is… purely for research purposes, of course…

    “For me the whole possessiveness of the woman is the sexy thing. Also how intensely they EXAMINE to see the effect they're having on their victim.”

    This is an interesting perspective. My previous wrote somewhere that I looked at him sometimes as if he was a science experiment… and 'examine' is exactly the right word for that.

    “But don't tell anyone I was watching something naughty.”

    Ssshhh… it will be our little secret…

    Ferns

  8. Liked that Ferns. The domination and sensual build up finished oh too soon !
    I see where you are heading with this and wondered if Candide Royale the Canadian female film maker has ever done anything along femdom lines?
    I watch few FemDom films because i have yet to find any worth watching.
    Be well and magnificent. subrob

  9. I too like to circle around I think it's a natural reaction,and there's nothing more arousing than the click of your heels on a hard floor in an other wise silent room to torment a blindfolded girl as you walk around and wind up behind them. Then stand there silent.

    – fans herself a little –
    Coug

  10. Seeing intense pleasure on the face of a sadistic woman for what she is about to do or has done is always exciting. Sadly that desire isn't generally understood or even known to the largely vanilla people who produce the material. All they know is contempt.

  11. subrob: “The domination and sensual build up finished oh too soon !”

    Agreed, it was woefully short.

    “…wondered if Candide Royale the Canadian female film maker has ever done anything along femdom lines?”

    I have no idea… A quick Google search was inconclusive. If any readers has seen any and it's scorching, please do pipe up.

    Ferns

  12. Polyfetishist: “Sadly that desire isn't generally understood or even known to the largely vanilla people who produce the material. All they know is contempt.”

    I think there is certainly an element of that, but I also think it is actually more complex.

    Nobody wants to see boring, realistic relationships in porn, me included. God! Dull!!! Stereotypical femdom porn (she is mean and full of contempt and never actually gets turned on, he is the victim) is what sells. It is a submale fantasy (and one of the reasons so many newbies stumble when they come out into the light, all blinking wide eyes and looking for a F/d relationship that reflects the hot porn they have been fantasising about for years, and then they meet women like me who look at them as if they have lost their minds… digression).

    In short, the makers are feeding male sub fantasies because they are the ones who will pay, that's how they make their money. It is disappointing on so many levels I can't tell you.

    Not least is… if I want to get off on porn, I have to watch something else!

    Ferns

  13. Brids: “It would be a lot easier to find out what the movie is if you posted the original link to it.”

    It was on youtube for about five minutes before it disappeared. I loved it so much I downloaded it in the first 30 seconds after I saw it (the first and only clip I have ever downloaded off youtube). So… yeah… I got nothin'.

    Ferns

  14. Ms Ferns:

    That was beautiful.

    I'm more into spanking (mostly F/M but I've also seen plenty of F/F and M/F I like as well as maybe 2 M/M that I've liked) vids then regular “femdom” per-se, but you'd be surprised at just how many of them – even though it is a childish punishment and often associated with maternal or paternal figures- are so cold and unimaginative as well.

    It really is a problem for most porn, but even more so most femdom stuff – it's stripped bare and is hardly believable. You and some commenters think its all about male fantasy and perhaps I could believe that in the much larger “regular” porn market. But to my knowledge few if any companies have ever bothered to ask sub/switch males what we like. I know there was a time even 6 or 7 years ago where finding F/M porn was still hard even on the web and so I guess its that we took what we could get. I'm of such an age that I remember going to stores in the early/mid 90's and purchasing some of this stuff and keeping a VERY low profile due to the social shame. But then sex in general is shamed in America (witness the craigslist bruhaha) and its not just men who do it here, but often women as well. I rather envy you living where you do but it seems taboo sex isn't treated any better there than here if you don't have access to more of these type of movies than I do.

    A sad

    Clarence

  15. Clarence: “That was beautiful.”

    *nodnods* Wasn't it?!

    “…you'd be surprised at just how many of them …are so cold and unimaginative as well.”

    Nope, I would not be surprised at all, frankly.

    “I know there was a time even 6 or 7 years ago where finding F/M porn was still hard even on the web and so I guess its that we took what we could get.”

    You make a really excellent point. Do men buy it because it's the only thing they can get or because it truly reflects what they want? I had always assumed that the porn makers know their market and cater to it because that's what sells. That could well be a fallacy…

    “I rather envy you living where you do but it seems taboo sex isn't treated any better there than here if you don't have access to more of these type of movies than I do.”

    I don't think geographical location makes any difference anymore… I haven't looked in an actual sex shop for porn in… ermmm… forever!

    Please don't be sad… *offers a cookie*

    Ferns

  16. Valan: “…definitely miles better than the crap porn versions all over the net. He's cute too”

    I agree with both! And his reactions… mmmmm… yummy!

    Ferns

  17. – holds it between thumb and forefinger and regards it disdainfully – I suppose one must expect this sort of the thing from the colonials

    Coug

  18. Ferns, this is outstanding. Sorry for coming in so late on this one (mental note to check DC more often, hmmm homepage?).

    I totally agree with you, the femdom videos are utterly wanting when it comes to passion, emotion, showing any kind of relationship between the beater and the mark. Another way in which I think they fail is the camera work is lazy. It tends to focus and remain on the male mark- naked, sweating, marked up, usually not attractive at all. Mister or madam director, do you really think that’s the part of this equation I wanted to watch?

    The video you present is excellent, but, as you also pointed out, it too is a bit wanting; for me partly because it involves novices (at least one) who are just learning. The movie “Punish Me” has similar good passion in it, but is also wanting for the same reason.

    What would I like to see in a femdom movie? I would like to see the sweat begin to form on the forehead of the sharp-dressed husband and hear him briefly fumble his silverware because, as he and his wife are seated at a posh dinner party across town, his wife in conversation with another person at the table, uses a code word. The word fits the context of her discussion, and means nothing special to the other eight at the table, but he knows she only uses it when she is getting hungry for him. He knows it means that in a few hours she will be riding him like a tricycle. He’s also worried that she will rip this shirt because he usually can’t get it off fast enough for her taste, and, well…this is (was) his favorite shirt, dang it! Meanwhile the wife doesn’t even look back across the table at him, she knows he got the message. And as she continues her conversation with the other gentleman, her grin is just a little too wide for the context of their discussion.

    Well, is isn’t fair to rant without giving a suggestion, and I have one. There is at least one movie that I think gets it. Ready?: The Adams Family. Yes it’s a farcical comedy, but if you pay attention to Tish and Gomez, there is the fire, the white hot fire. This is what I seek. They’re experienced, they’re crazy for one another, and their energies feed off one another. And personally, I think a comedy might be a good place for it, because the humor and playfulness add to the heat; otherwise the mood can get too heavy. With wide eyes, childlike excitement, and busting desire, Gomez looks at Tish and says “the white hot pokers?!”. She smiles and whispers her reply, “I’ll get them.” Oh baby.

  19. Yardbird: “…mental note to check DC more often, hmmm homepage?”

    You mean it's not already? Oh, the travesty!

    “It tends to focus and remain on the male mark- naked, sweating, marked up, usually not attractive at all. Mister or madam director, do you really think that’s the part of this equation I wanted to watch?”

    Speak for yourself! That's *exactly* the part I want to watch IF it's well done (the boy's face when he's being hit in this little clip… oh yes!).

    “The movie “Punish Me” has similar good passion in it, but is also wanting for the same reason.”

    *nod nod* There was goodness in it with her *need*, and his beautiful-boy cockiness and breakage… but her guilt and shame did sully it. I think, in the end, she had to pay for her proclivities also, didn't she?

    “What would I like to see in a femdom movie? [… hot stuff…]

    Yes! You nearly lost me with the “riding him like a tricycle” imagery, but I managed to gloss over it *smile*

    “Ready?”

    *nod* Yes! Let me have it!

    “The Adams Family.”

    Ok… errmm… I thought I was ready, but I clearly wasn't! Send me a link to a clip proving your point… one that makes me go “Oh baby” and I will happily believe you.

    Ferns

  20. I respect your skepticism, Ferns, but I think our tastes are pretty similar in this respect. I’m talking about the movie, not the TV show. If you watch it (and wade through the other bits of the movie) you will see what I mean. Because of the creepy, Halloweenish context, they are allowed to talk about torture and pain and bondage all they want in a mainstream movie. I love the scene when Gomez finds Morticia tied to the wheel by the villain in the movie (a wheel?! hells yeah!), and rather than rescue her, he is overcome with desire to get with it.

    I did some research on You Tube for you. I was both disappointed and fascinated with what I found. The disappointing bit: aside from the generic trailer and another poor quality one, the only clips I found in which Gomez and Morticia actually speak to one another were in Spanish or French. Dangit!! The fascinating bit:it turns out You Tube is filled with musical tributes to their passionate relationship.

    Go here to look at the trailer (paste in URL):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUBCvK39Vzo

    Here is a very short clip of poor quality:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omg4bkA4VfM&feature=related

    and here is the best of the musical tributes I found:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tJbksW6qkk&feature=related

    I tell you Ferns, when I watch those two, my blood boils. Cara mia, I want that down to my soul.

    Femdom videos don’t even come close to this.

  21. This film is : Amorestremo and this is a italian movie of femdom and chatting, is a nice movie. I win the gift madame? :) you can find me in fetlife (ilservo)

  22. ilservo: “I win the gift madame?”

    *chuckle* I'm afraid the gift has already been won (see the comment above yours), but I do appreciate you finding it and telling me in good faith nevertheless!

    Ferns

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