musing The worst thing… March 2, 2010 7 Comments“May I?” “Do whatever you like.”“I did the wrong thing, I’m so sorry…” *shrug* “It’s okay.”“Which one…?” “Either is fine.”Rate this item:1.00Submit Rating Love: 1Please wait...// MY FEMDOM BOOKS // Next Post Previous PostYou may also like April 18, 2012 Really really want October 9, 2013 How do I get my sub floaty-high? October 14, 2014 D/s stereotypes7 CommentsDang, that's just so… so sad.ReplyTalk about disconnec,t so painful.ReplyTom: “Dang, that's just so… so sad.”It is isn't it?I hear quite a few women say that when they get emotionally involved with their submissive, they may feel less 'dommely', less like taking him to task about things, they feel, somehow, like it's kinder, more loving, to segue into equality, to let things go, they think that they are showing *more* care when they do that.I was thinking about what that actually looks like and it's this… *this* is what it looks like… it may come from love, but it looks very much like indifference.And yes, I totally agree, it's sad.FernsReplySecretive Slave: “Talk about disconnec,t so painful.”It does feel like a total disconnect doesn't it, and yes, painful.In a vanilla exchange, though, this would look perfectly normal. There is nothing nasty in it, no malice, no intent to hurt… it's just… (D/s) apathy.FernsReplySorry if my response is a bit off topic but I was struck by your comment.Ferns: “In a vanilla exchange, though, this would look perfectly normal. There is nothing nasty in it, no malice, no intent to hurt…”Oddly enough, the very first thing that came into my mind when I read this post was how much it sounded like my 13 year old vanilla marriage as it went into it’s death spiral. I discovered that the hardest thing of all is to win back the heart of someone who no longer cares. Sad Indeed.Replyslapshot: “Oddly enough, the very first thing that came into my mind when I read this post was how much it sounded like my 13 year old vanilla marriage as it went into it’s death spiral.”You make a good point… I guess in my mind, 'letting things go' in a vanilla relationship can be considered an expression of affection ('It's okay, sweetie, don't worry about it…' vs 'You did what?! Come here and explain yourself!”), even if it's a misdirected one.I totally spun it as indifference, though, and you are right… trying to come back from someone just not caring (vanilla or D/s or something else) is nigh on impossible.The vanilla equivalent might have different overtures from him, but the responses might be very similar.FernsReplyx.x I feel so awful when this happens.. um… felt*… happened*… *purses lips and sighs*ReplyLeave a Reply Cancel replyYour email address will not be published.CommentName Email Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email.