This month…

December, geez.

For an introvert, it’s a kind of hell (only with really lovely well meaning folks. And presents!).

As I’m banging this out, I’m waiting for family to arrive. They will be staying with me for a few days.

Then I will go stay there for a couple of days a little later in the month.

Then one of them will be staying with me again for a few days before Christmas.

Then Christmas day all together again.

I have a tiny family, I’m not talking about dozens of people.

And yet, my head is already full. I’m trying to cycle up the social energy for it right now, and will be working on keeping it humming at some level for the duration.

It’s not them. I love them, and they are sweet wonderful people and really great house guests.

It’s me.

So on top of the introvert-panic, I feel guilty. Guilty for not being all excited about this time we will spend together. Of course I will hide it. I’m good at that. My sister will know, she knows what I’m like.

And to think, I actually invited two boys I was talking to to come and visit me over this period. I really don’t know what I was thinking. Twitterpated. Heh.

I’m going to leave the book cover poll open for longer than expected since I will be busy and won’t be doing anything with the results just yet. If you haven’t voted yet, please do. The numbers are really close. THIS DOES NOT HELP ME!

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24 Comments

  1. I know it is difficult to mask the introversion with also trying to appear nice and happy for guests. I wish you luck and energy.

    As for the pole if it comes down to it just go with what I suggested :D

    Respectfully,
    Mysticlez

    1. Thanks *smile*. It was fine.

      Only a few more rounds to go in the lead up to Christmas, but I’ll try not to whine about them here since it will just be more of the same!

      Ferns

  2. I feel your burden there. Tell ya what I’m gonna do, I will NOT be showing up unexpectedly to crash on your couch over the holidays… It’s the least I can do. See? Already you have one less mouth to feed. Better?

    Oh, and *HUGS and Happy thoughts to help you get through a busy month*

    1. Thanks, I appreciate you not showing up out of the blue (though actually, that would be no skin off my nose because if you think I’m answering the door to someone who hasn’t told me they are coming, you are sadly mistaken…!).

      *hugs*

      Ferns

      1. I am as it happens! *laughs*

        I was thinking of the corrosive effect of “introversion guilt” on relationships, and how I deal with that.

        “Hold one’s nerve! Do one’s duty! Break out the Rum!”

        … even if all you really want is to have your damn bed back and sleep in for a week!

  3. I’m an introvert and I love the holidays, but I think I luck out. Lots of time inside reading with a hot drink. Most of the time I spend home is quiet, watching movies, eating good food. I do have a few social events, but most of them are things I’ve planned with close friends. Hope you get lots of time to yourself to recharge!

    1. Your holidays sound perfect!

      I have 5 days now before the next round of socialising.

      The big thing here is that it’s not just socialising, but having people stay and staying with people, so bursts of 24/7 togetherness and endless being ‘on’ for them. Plus guilt for feeling resentful over it. Ugh!

      *rictus grin*

      Ferns

  4. I feel you. Thanksgiving with the husband’s (rather large) family almost did me in. After about 10 hours of socializing, I made a very hasty retreat to the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I just couldn’t take any more. And I don’t particularly care if it seemed rude. I just needed some alone time.

    1. I hope they understood. I mean, I’m sure your husband did, but ‘people’ in general tend to not.

      “Is she alright? We should check on her. ARE YOU ALRIGHT IN THERE?!” etc.

      Bless ’em!

      Ferns

  5. As a fellow introvert, I can empathize. We just had Thanksgiving at our house with over 20 relatives. There were times that I had too much energy draining socialization.

    One thing I have found over the years (for both family gatherings and cocktail party type affairs) is that I can help myself by looking for opportunities to have smaller discussions that delve into things more than the general flow allows.

    When things begin to feel like too much I drift away to someone who is relatively isolated and have a one on one conversation for a few minutes. I enjoy the deeper and more isolated discussion, almost as if I had just one person to interact with. I just tune out the others.

    I enjoy the one on one for a bit, recover some energy, and then can drift back over to the crowd. I think part of the reason it works is I recognize that this is a fine thing to do and that extroverted socialization is not the only way to interact, indeed it is a relatively poor way for some things.

    Cheers!

    1. That’s a good strategy. I tend to do that in bigger groups also.

      Unfortunately with my small family, they are all energy-sucks in different ways, even one on one (not their fault!).

      Sometimes I just go and hide in my room for a while. My sister understands, so will run interference for me.

      Ferns

  6. Hey, they’re your family, they probably know you’re an introvert already and have learned to deal with it. You’ll get through this, as you got through every Christmas so far :)

    1. Heh. Should I confess that for years I made it my business to be out of the country over Christmas?

      And yes, it will be fine. It’s just exhausting and guilty-making and it takes me to the end of my tolerance and sometimes I need to whine about it.

      It really makes me feel like a bad person at the same time as it makes me feel like I want to kill *all the people* which would, indeed, make me a bad person, so I definitely won’t do that.

      Ferns

      1. ” want to kill *all the people* which would, indeed, make me a bad person”

        Well there are two schools of thought on that… Mine and everybody elses apparently *shifty eyes *
        Coug

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