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Once upon a time I was kind of a bitch

I think in a lot of ways, I was much more domlydomdomdomlydominant when I was young, and vanilla. In the days before I’d even heard of BDSM.

You know why?

I never gave it a moment’s thought.

I didn’t negotiate.

I didn’t discuss.

I just did my thing and the men who were interested in me either got with the program or they were left behind. I never thought in terms of ‘dominance’ or ‘power’ … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Reader Q&A

I have been really slack with sharing the Q&A here.

In case you’ve forgotten, over on the Ask me page, you can ask me questions (see how intuitive that is?!). You can also see what I’ve been saying to anonymous peeps and be totally impressed, or maybe outraged. WHO KNOWS?!

There are quite a few over there now. Here’s some of them.

Hey Ferns,
Just wanted to let you know that my crush on
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Loves: 3
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Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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Dominance and vulnerability: A case study

After writing my previous post about vulnerability, I thought I’d follow up with an example of how it feels to me.

My boy and I had not been together all that long, I was at his place. It was about 10.30pm. It was winter, a foot or more of snow on the ground outside. I went to the toilet and used the last of the toilet paper on the roll. I looked around for … Continue Reading

Loves: 23
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Why sex blogging is bad for my love life

Prior to my blog existing, I had 100% success rate with meeting submissive men and having the meeting lead to a relationship. Since having the blog, becoming single, and with the blog linked from my profiles everywhere, my success rate is down to zero (keep in mind that I meet *very* few men, I really only meet those who I believe have real potential). Essentially, since having the blog, my ‘foolproof’ method is no longer … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Dating… ugh

I can’t remember the last time I went on a normal ‘date’.

You know what I mean: A ‘hey let’s go out and see if there’s anything here’ kind of date, all casual-like and low risk.

My last two dates have been ‘hey, let’s spend lots of money, organise some international flights, find some accommodation, travel for 20+ hours, spend several weeks together and see if there’s anything here’ kind of dates.

No pressure, right?… Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Writing about moments

I want to write more about bambi, snippets of hot sweetness, things that make me smile, but it feels weird. I can’t quite put my finger on why. I have never had trouble writing about boys and sweetness after the fact before.

Maybe because it’s done, it feels like I am romanticising something that didn’t work out, something that is best left in the ‘oh well’ box. It feels a little sad, and I don’t … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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