This love story started on Fetlife many years ago, and is still going strong <3.
Enjoy little slice of this happiness.
I can still read on Fetlife the first message I sent her, almost exactly nine years ago.
I had started exploring about two years earlier, newly divorced at 47; meeting people for casual play, driving all over the southeast, going to play parties or sessions in Atlanta about once a month.
Four months after joining Fet, it occurred to me to scan my local group’s members list for sadists/tops/dommes in my age range, looking for play partners. There were maybe 3 out of 400 people. Her profile jumped out at me: a lot about herself, her passions, her politics. Close to nothing about kink. A dry, sharp sense of humor. And, most importantly: “not looking for a relationship”. Like me.
So I wrote to her–the title was a single word, in French. It wasn’t very long: a little about myself, and “you sound like someone I’d like to meet”. We met for coffee a week later, at a restaurant in her town (with an apple orchard and a farmer’s market), where we still go sometimes. We talked and talked—mostly about what we were reading and about politics. She is an engaging conversationalist, with a wide range of mysterious things in her mind.
After that we met twice for dinner, wine and conversation at her mountain lair. That’s in the middle of nowhere, and I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. She had a safe call, with the codename “Mr. Slave” for me (the South Park character.) We only played the third time we met—a whole afternoon, to an awesome soundtrack. By that point, things like limits and experience had been disclosed in conversation, without my even noticing it. So she did what she wanted, and I took it well (or she went easy on me).
Many long play afternoons followed, at her place or mine. I never knew what was going to happen, just “we play tomorrow” and start worrying. I gave her a whip, and she learned about leather braiding, making new and beautiful whips and floggers. When I look at pictures from our scenes (or the aftermath), it’s clear we played hard—I think we did RACK without knowing the difference. We went to the club in Atlanta, to kink events, to local munches and play parties, but without making durable connections with people.
The more we talked and did things together, the more it became clear how much we had in common; political outlook, taste for reading and movies; she introduced me to writing and series’ I didn’t know. More than an intellectual equal—an artist, writer, blogger, farmer. I had never met anyone like that. Yet we didn’t kiss for almost a year, and when we shared a hotel bed, grievous harm was promised if I tried anything.
And then one day we looked, and found ourselves in a relationship, and “keep going” felt like the right thing to do, as we were (that word) in luurv. I had never felt so completely loved, and still do. We started living together, and got married on Halloween, four years after we met (my third, her second.)
In our relationship, she is dominant and I’m not.
Not because we have an agreement regarding authority, but because it is what feels natural to both of us. Looking back, she was dom and I sub probably from day one, although these words are rarely used between us. She perceives a need for something, lets me know, and I do it, or at least…get started. I’m probably no better than the average man at following directions, but I try. She does a lot for me too—reciprocity is important to us. We talk about everything, including the weird things we both find hot.
I’ve learned a lot from her: using a chainsaw, a power auger and a rifle; preparing a fishing rod and fishing from a kayak; making beer and wine; killing and dressing deer and sheep for the table; helping goat does with the kidding process, and medicating goat babies; loving dogs (I’m almost like a “real man” now, as she says sometimes). Kink doesn’t seem so important to us now, but was the unlikely vehicle to meet an incredible person—my soulmate forever.
This post is part of an ongoing project to share positive happy femdom relationship stories. If you’re in a joyful femdom relationship and have a story you’d like to share, I’d be delighted to have it. Please see my call out request for the details, and send it on to me.
If you like this story, you will love my ‘Happy Femdom Stories’ books :).
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