Shit Ferns says #14

Random things I’ve said recently, no context.

Is that a ‘yes, I have no intention of meeting you’ salmon? If so you might have to specify: salmon species are not my forte

I think ‘vanilla’ = did not buy dedicated equipment for that :P

And here we have a vintage little number all about self-created snowballs.

“I wanked over a picture of you, THAT’S how sexy I think you are” is not the compliment those into it seem to think it is

“At last a REAL femdom!” rang the enthusiastic chorus, staring fervently at their screens, their collective right hands slipping down their pants, their left tapping a furious dance on the keyboard.

“me mistresss,” they bang out clumsily, each racing to be the first to offer their aching arseholes to be cyber-filled before they spill their loads into their trousers and suddenly remember there’s sport on TV.

Later, when they see the grave insult that lands in their inbox, complete shock and surprise and disgust fills their incensed senses. “How DARE she ask for money?” they wail into the night.

“WHERE ARE THE REAL FEMDOMS WHO WILL DO ME, AN INTERNET STRANGER, FOR THE LOVE OF IT?” they will rail in forums to jaded eyes that will hear the cartoon sound of a sad trombone while reading the bitter outrage that drips down the screen.

And so it goes, this secret cycle of life on the internet. So it goes…


Look, if you ever go to Murrika you’re gonna want to be able to CLIMB THAT WALL

So, who are you? ~cue existential angst~

Mod note: Nah.

Loves: 4
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