If nothing else, putting a profile up on a vanilla dating site allows me the luxury of realising that online dating is online dating and the ratio of ‘oh FFS’ to ‘well, hello!’ in my inbox is probably going to be much the same as kink sites at about 1000 to 1.
I’ve not put anything about D/s in my profile, though there is a hint there for someone who might pick it up, but the site has Q&A for their matching algorithm and I’ve been completely forthright in the very explicit questions that are asked there (e.g. “Would you consider a master/slave relationship” is one of the questions).
I have a relatively short profile in which I *specifically* state that I’m not going to reply to one liners because the lack of creativity is an excellent indicator that we aren’t going to be compatible. Also, life’s too short.
Unsurprisingly, my inbox is still a hotbed of one liners from men throwing mindless words into the void to see what sticks: Men in their early twenties interested in casual hookups (at least they’re up-front about it), and more mature men who apparently can’t read. Allow me to share some of them for your reading pleasure.
“G’day I’m James how are you?”
“Good morning there how are you”
“hiiiii good morning :)”
“What’s up beautiful you into young men?”
“Let’s hook up”
“Hi how are you in John x”
“love your photos”
“Hi how u going on here?”
“interested in casual encounters with someone younger?”
I’m playing a game on twitter at the moment to amuse myself. I call it “Guess his age”. I post the one line messages and invite people to guess how old the author is. I’m surprisingly bad at it and clearly make the mistake of assuming that age increases a man’s ability to initiate a conversation.
I’ve sent out one note to a younger man who has cute photos, a really funny profile and a good match percentage, and I have exchanged a few emails with another more mature man who read both my profile and my Q&A and sent a really thoughtful first email.
So not throwing in the towel on this experiment just yet, just sorting the chaff from the wheat.