Crossposting from Tumblr
“I follow quite a few dominant women on Tumblr, and it’s not unusual to see quite a bit of objectification of men…
But seeing some of the pictures… makes me feel self conscious about the fact that my body isn’t in the shape I want it to be in (although I’m working on it). I’ll probably never be like those guys in the pictures I see posted here. I don’t know if I’ll ever be so fit as to have an adonis belt, well defined abs, or a sculpted back.”
– Vulnerable Boy [See here for full post]
I’m one of these dominant women who objectifies male bodies, and I absolutely hear what you are saying. And I understand it. My goodness, women have been in this boat for their entire lives.
Whether it helps or not, I want to explain how it works for me.
When I reblog a picture of a man who I think is pretty, it is a comment on a body. On certain characteristics that I like to look at, that please me. It is objectification at it’s most literal. Like hanging paintings that you think are beautiful.
When a man is in my life, when I know him, when he makes me laugh, when he is sweet, when his mind makes me swoon, I WILL FIND HIM BEAUTIFUL. It’s a simple fact, and that fact exists as something that is independent of how he actually looks.
Having said that, I’m not one of those people for whom physical appearance is irrelevant, it’s not. I have to want to tear my man’s clothes off, it’s an absolute requirement. But WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE varies greatly and in my experience, it has NEVER EVER looked like those photos that I reblog. Not once.
In my past, it has been skinny legs or balding or slightly overweight or hairy or awkward or crooked teeth, or any other thing. And still that man, *my* man, will be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
And I will have him show off for me, undress for me, dress up for me, bend over this way, turn that way, show me his mouth, lift his chin just so, make fists, flex his calf, show me his profile, stand over there, sit like this, lie there… ALL OF THOSE for my pleasure and enjoyment in the beautiful object he is to me.
By all means, be the best that you can be, whatever that means to you.
But don’t doubt for one second that someone will look at you with awe and wonder at how very perfect you are. They will think how lucky they are that they get to say “Take your clothes off and stand over there so I can look at you” and when they see how fucking beautiful you are, they will barely be able to stand it.
Thank you for a most encouraging post. While no one has ever to me as beautiful as of yet, I have been told several times that I clean up pretty well, so hope springs eternal.
*smile* You’re most welcome.
And you DO clean up very well indeed!
Everyone should be reminded of this.
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
I agree Ferns. I love posting pics, as you know, beautiful men that make me feel warm just gazing at them. But few of those have been in my life. And the one that was, was over time, not as pretty to me because of who was inside.
It’s truly the man inside that shines through. NB was far from the images I post, yet I was madly in love with him and could stare at him and objectify him over and over again. To me he was the most desirable man in my life.
I hope to find that again someday. Until then I’ll enjoy my Tumblr and posting!
“NB was far from the images I post, yet I was madly in love with him and could stare at him and objectify him over and over again.”
*smile* YES, exactly that!
I hope you find that again also.
Apropos of nothing just been to see Maleficent ZOMG ( as the young people says) Angelina Jolie is seriously gorgeous and this is the hottest scene ever…..
King Stefan: Maleficent, I’m begging you…
Maleficent: I like you begging. Do it again.
Oh yes umm objectifaction and so forth *airy hand wave*
Ooh… I’ve heard a few F/m type things about Maleficent and her bird-turned-servant-man, but not about this scene! Fun!
I’m sure you could find on that new fangled Mytubefacespace thingy. There’s a quite a good D/s vibe throughout the film on and off which was nice
This is wonderful.
I have meet so many boys who don’t know how beautiful they could be if they would stop beating themselves up.
*smile* Yes, so true!
Thanks for this post, I like how you keep thoughts at the same time! Keeping on the middle ground, working out to improving yourself whilst not being excessively jealous of professional models requires a guy who’s secure of himself and a domme that doesn’t push the concept too hard. Communication is key and building trust and encouraging speaking of insecurities (how the sub feels about himself) and desires (What the sub would look like to your domme in a perfect world) can be challenging but also rewarding.
Once you’ve built trust and understanding, it’s much easier to understand that externally defined fitness goals (i.e. she decides) does not mean she’s unhappy now. Perhaps you’ll never become the “ripped hunk” that’s she’s posting images of, perhaps you will after some dedication. But the fact that you _do_ work hard to improve your physique for her is a huge part of the process itself. A positive feedback loop can create excitement for both. My GF gives me positive feedback on my improvements when I strip for her which inspires me to work harder and which part of my body she emphasizes on, even if I’m not always as ripped as I would liked to.