Crossposting from Tumblr
“I follow quite a few dominant women on Tumblr, and it’s not unusual to see quite a bit of objectification of men…
But seeing some of the pictures… makes me feel self conscious about the fact that my body isn’t in the shape I want it to be in (although I’m working on it). I’ll probably never be like those guys in the pictures I see posted here. I don’t know if I’ll ever be so fit as to have an adonis belt, well defined abs, or a sculpted back.”
– Vulnerable Boy [See here for full post]
I’m one of these dominant women who objectifies male bodies, and I absolutely hear what you are saying. And I understand it. My goodness, women have been in this boat for their entire lives.
Whether it helps or not, I want to explain how it works for me.
When I reblog a picture of a man who I think is pretty, it is a comment on a body. On certain characteristics that I like to look at, that please me. It is objectification at it’s most literal. Like hanging paintings that you think are beautiful.
When a man is in my life, when I know him, when he makes me laugh, when he is sweet, when his mind makes me swoon, I WILL FIND HIM BEAUTIFUL. It’s a simple fact, and that fact exists as something that is independent of how he actually looks.
Having said that, I’m not one of those people for whom physical appearance is irrelevant, it’s not. I have to want to tear my man’s clothes off, it’s an absolute requirement. But WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE varies greatly and in my experience, it has NEVER EVER looked like those photos that I reblog. Not once.
In my past, it has been skinny legs or balding or slightly overweight or hairy or awkward or crooked teeth, or any other thing. And still that man, *my* man, will be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
And I will have him show off for me, undress for me, dress up for me, bend over this way, turn that way, show me his mouth, lift his chin just so, make fists, flex his calf, show me his profile, stand over there, sit like this, lie there… ALL OF THOSE for my pleasure and enjoyment in the beautiful object he is to me.
By all means, be the best that you can be, whatever that means to you.
But don’t doubt for one second that someone will look at you with awe and wonder at how very perfect you are. They will think how lucky they are that they get to say “Take your clothes off and stand over there so I can look at you” and when they see how fucking beautiful you are, they will barely be able to stand it.