The first time I had him inside me. I was lounging low and careless on the couch, legs wrapped around him. We had been kissing, desperately and passionately grabbing at each other. I don’t remember our clothes coming off, or even if they were off.

He knelt before me, pushed himself excruciatingly slowly into me, joined at the cock and cunt.

He closed his eyes, his head went back, a blind prayer offered to the ceiling. He moaned. He pulled back, thrust forward again, slow, all sensation and pleasure, hands on my hips holding me steady.

I watched him lose himself and suddenly felt alone, lonely. I waited for him to come back for me. He didn’t, lost in his own feeling. His cock and his hands kept us connected, but he was gone, his pleasure all his own. The sex was somehow a thing separate from me. He disappeared, or perhaps I did.

I leaned forward, grabbed the back of his neck, squeezed. He stopped moving, opened his eyes, looked at me.

“Hey, you know it’s me,” I said. More of a question than a fact.

He held my gaze, I’m not sure he understood, but he knew I needed something, knew better than to gloss over it.

He looked at me. Really looked at me.

“I know,” he said. Affirmation, if not understanding.

“Then kiss me.”

Loves: 14
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  1. Wow. How is it that yet again, I can SO relate to this post? LOVE the way you pinpoint exactly something I’ve been feeling but couldn’t put a name/handle on. <3 you!

  2. Oh, Ferns. The way you write. You take me inside and get inside my mind reading you. And I’m talking literature. But you know that. – forever a devotee.

  3. Tsk menz huh!
    *evil grin*
    Lovely writing Ferns and I think we’ve all felt that momentary dislocation from our partner and it does sting a little inside…. Of course a clip around the ear cures them for me. naturally I’m such a giving person I wouldn’t dream of doing that myself *shifty eyes*

    1. Thanks, and yes in some moments, it can feel a little like you’ve become peripheral: NOT a nice feeling.

      By contrast, when he drifts off *because I have made him*, that’s a completely different thing. It might look exactly the same, but I know it’s not.


  4. Your way to grab the moments of life, even rather embarrashing or melacholic ones, and turn them into positive, valuable experiences is simply unique, really amazing! What an attitude!
    We can only recieve the pleasure we believe we deserve.
    Your true admirer

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