Reader Q&A: This and that

Random questions that arrived via my Ask Me page. I love getting them, so thank you for them anonymouses!


Hello . I would like to ask you that what kind of activities should a Dom wife Exercise in start. Really looking forward to that

There is no ‘should’ here. Sit down together and talk about what sort of things you are both interested in, find some common ground that is safe and easy and fun, start there and see how it goes.

If you are completely stumped, I suggest you google ‘BDSM checklist’ which is a list of potential play activities that BDSMers might want to do together. Have a look through the possibilities, see which you both like, and start with some very light and safe activities that you will both enjoy.


Not as in reveal your identity, but what do you do for work? Your twitter gives off a strong lady of leisure vibe (*envious*). And an update on your book? I tend to read in places where people ask me what I’m reading and yours would be an excellent prop with which to start a conversation. :)

I’m a super hero of course, I will NEVER reveal my secret identity!!

As for the book: Thank you for asking *smile*. I have it out with a couple of beta readers who are no doubt overwhelmed with its amazingness and taking their very sweet time to savour every word *laugh*. I’m not putting pressure on them, or on myself about timing, though it would be nice to have it out by the end of the year.

I’d love to be a prop for a conversation starter! You will read it as well though, right?!


You my dear are a contemporary Cleopatra holding court over the WWW. Of course minus building some kind of empire and all that, life is a misery interspersed with fleeting pleasures. It has been a pleasure to visit you court. Are you ready for your Marc Antony?

*laugh* Thank you for your delightful visit to my court. I am SO ready for my Marc Antony. I’ll just be waiting over here in my milk bath, surrounded by asps, natch…


After confessing his Secret of Not only crossdressing but that he also since he can remember had an unbelievably repeticious cycle that overwhelms him and month after month for 3/4 of the month durations he is overtaken and becomes a feminized man enjoying make-up,nylons,wearing panties and bras daily,as he is an arrogant,emotionally abusive and not much more than an a…..e otherwise.I would prefer him in or at least with some of the more positive attributes he displays while in his fem “cycle” I am curious as to any advise to lose the male inspired days and how to establish and then maintain control that he so freely surrenders while in girly mode? Thank You,

If the dude is an arrogant, emotionally abusive asshole then dump him. Seriously. Attempting to use any kind of BDSM activity to manage genuine personal problems or relationship issues is a losing strategy.

If the relationship is really important to you, find a kink friendly therapist and get some help.


I miss you. And I ate the cookie hat.

*smile* I do love to be missed. Though if you ate the cookie hat, I have a quandary: I just don’t know what I will wear on race day!


Best sites for unowned slaves and submissive male

Best sites for what exactly? Dating? Porn? Discussions? Erotica? Pro services? Reference books?



Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year?

Ooh… good question! No, I’m not.

I did it a couple of years ago and while it was really interesting and worthwhile for the experience of volume writing and daily practice, what I produced was hard won and largely rubbish. I can really only write when I *feel* something, so not only did I struggle with the disciplined daily writing, what came out was wooden and clunky for the most part.


how resistant the testicles are?

This question made me chuckle. I mean, on a scale of what to what? About a 6, I’d say.

Seriously though, if you are asking this because you are interested in cock and ball torture (CBT) of some sort, then it’s absolutely the right question. You need to understand a bit of anatomy to do anything much more than tap lightly at them because if you do things the wrong way, you CAN cause damage.

I suggest a book called “Family Jewels: a guide to male genital play and torment” by Hardy Haberman which is a very readable resource that covers anatomy, safety, technique and various ways to play.


Want to ask me something? Pop on over to my Ask Me page and do it! It’s completely anonymous, even to me, so nobody will know it was you…

Loves: 6
Please wait…

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      1. bzzzt *teleports to another bar*

        ‘Conversations started from reading Ferns’ Book in public’

      2. bzzzt *teleports to another bar*

        I could make a blog of it, ‘career’ reading it around the city. ‘Conversations Started from Reading Ferns’ Book in Public’

        1. *laugh* I would love to read that blog.

          I was recently pondering how it would go if I met some man in a bar, had a bit of chat, mentioned I had a sex blog, then left him with a link to it on my way out.



  1. An exclamation of ‘jackpot’ upon his first visit.

    You haven’t done so previously? Surprising.

    That this man were already sub identified, slim chance. That he were a regular gentleman with whom you had enough chemistry to close the conversation with the link, perhaps you were hinting at a fantasy of being his corrupting agent? Leading him down the rabbit hole; this would certainly be the resource to do it.

    More than likely it would become an anecdote for ‘the boys’. “And then she had this crazy blog!”

    I will *so* write that blog.

    1. “More than likely it would become an anecdote for ‘the boys’. “And then she had this crazy blog!””

      *laugh* Yes, probably this. And not some fabulous outcome where he would comment/email/something expressing his never-before-told desires of submission *swoon*!

      I think I have given three vanilla men the URL in all the years I’ve had the blog, but none was in a potentially romantic context and there was no interesting outcome.

      “I will *so* write that blog.”

      Sure you will…


        1. *laugh and laughs* Look, don’t be giving me a commenter-crush with your cheeky sweet talk!

          By the way, is totally available.

          I know, surprising right?


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