A few weeks ago, I received an email on CM from a local switch whose profile included the fact that he “leans towards the dominant side”. Despite it clearly being a form letter that may as well have been addressed to “Dear Recipient”, it had a line in it that made me laugh, and I was curious enough to respond with more than just a ‘no thanks’. I asked him why a switch with primarily dominant tendencies would be contacting a dominant woman, and suggested that perhaps he would be better off with a submissive who could service top (see how very helpful I am?). He responded with intelligence and some self examination about his motives.
We are still emailing.
I asked him to stop reading this blog so that I would have a little freedom to share, just in case it turned into something I wanted to write about. I assume he has complied (if you are reading this, you *must* know that I will be able to tell, right? The magic of internet stats and smarts will do you in!).
So, what have I learned so far? He is a newbie, a hopeless romantic, realistic in his expectations, practical, a successful professional, a father. He gets joy from pleasing his partner, identifies as a strong personality, has been told he is ‘not really submissive’, is big on being treated with respect, on being acknowledged and valued. He is 10 years younger than me. He says many of the right things, he is letting me lead the pace, he is rather ‘normal’, and very appealing on paper.
He stepped over a little threshold with me today and that is what prompted this post. He wants to exchange photos and he wants to move to IM, reasonable requests that I have refused. In my last, I responded with a full explanation of my reasons and a closing note:
When it’s right for me, I will move it along and exchange photos. I have heard you and understand that it’s important to you, I will keep it in mind.
It is this kind of thing that acts as the first glimpse of how he will accept a decision that I have made that he disagrees with. His response was, frankly, rather perfect:
Thank you for taking the time to consider my views and requests (very nicely handled thank you). I am very happy to continue communicating this way… and I must say that you [handled my request] with grace and care, so Thank you.
When my submissive disagrees with me over something, that is exactly what I expect. He states his opinion, I explain my choice, he accepts it with grace, we move on. *ticks another box*
Is this a possible ‘something’? I honestly don’t know yet. I am interested enough to continue, which is huge, however I am also very aware that I can normally *feel it* (you know… ‘it’… IT…) pretty much immediately, the zing-zing, the click, that low level thrum of excitement, that natural joy in bouncing off each other without effort and I am not feeling it with him. I am taking my time to give him a chance to get inside my head to give it the best possible opportunity to be something…
To be continued…
* If there’s another post about this boy, I am obviously going to have to come up with a cute nick… or perhaps I will just use the acronym IMWMNaCNITGA…