I wonder sometimes, when I am wanting to write, but just can’t get my head quite right, when I am somewhat uninspired to speak of beauty and passion, when I am nevertheless looking at the page and picking through what is going on with me for snippets worth telling, I wonder if you, dear readers, peer at me here and wonder who I am.
I wonder about you, I do…
I know you are there, I see stats, numbers slipping by, many many thousands of views, I know there are regulars (hello there, and thank you!), and some who come here by mistake (anyone referred after searching for “bitches beg for fucking” must have been sorely disappointed), I know there are people who like ‘stockinged feet‘ because it is a common search phrase, I know some have subscribed to get updates when I write here, I know some of you come after reading my fetlife posts, I know some visit once and never come back (was it something I said… wait, come back!!).
I get glimpses of you now and then…
Sometimes I hear from you in comments (thank you, I love that), sometimes I get spam (my ‘Shy‘ post for some reason is an attractant for Asian comments that I can’t understand and that I have given up on deleting – I now prefer to pretend that they are genuine comments from lovely readers), sometimes I get sweet email messages of appreciation (I enjoy that very much), sometimes I get questions from dominant women finding their feet (I am, unsurprisingly, quite opinionated about most things, so happy to help if I can).
But you are mostly silent, dear readers…
So, what is this for… this post? Well, I would like to hear from you. In an effort to make this a dialogue, (and maybe make it easier for those of you who are a little bashful), I would like to invite you to ask me a question. Then I get to hear from you, and you get to hear from me. Serious or completely silly, I don’t mind. While I am not going to promise to answer all questions (if I even get any at all!!), I will do my very best. If there are a few, they will get a cute post all of their own, the lucky buggars!
Are you curious? I am, so come on in, sit yourself down, and type a few words…
I don't know about a question, yet. The only question in my mind is whether to watch the cute boy sleep, or wake him up (haven't the heart; he looks too sweet sleeping). And that's not really one needs answering.
But I read your blog because I find your writing beautiful and it often seems to echo how I feel about things – which few blogs from dominant women do – I guess it's the love that shows in it.
And I am technically a dominant woman finding my feet, but I don't really have questions about it just now. It all feels rather natural.
Long time reader, first time commenter (thought I would start with a cliche). I love your blog.
How do you deal with it when your submissive is disobedient? I don't think you have talked about that before.
Are the shoes and boots in the photos really yours?
I just came across your blog today. I adore your writing. Going to spend the next week going through your posts. I'm a fan :)
The only question that comes to mind is – hmm, have I actually commented before? I like reading here because I don't all so many stories online that fit my kink buttons, and I find lots of sweet echoes of my own adventures here…
I'm a newly-self-discovered switch, and I've been finding my submissive feet after years of thinking that I was strictly a Dominant, and failing at that from time to time. I've been delighted to find your perspective, your compassion, and your articulation of some of the things that most make me wonder. Thank you.
I visit because I love how naturally you and your boy fit together. I love his reactions and your artistic demands. I, myself, have a hard time making my switch (siding more with dominant) sides take wing. I don't seem to have a lot of confidence in what I'd want to do with my submissive boy. I have plenty of ideas, formulas, wicked sessions I could plan… but I can't seem to get them to take flight… I end up dwiddling back to being vanilla, and am left unsatisfied. I know that if I had more experience with being a dominant female, I'd have more self-confidence… but I can't seem to get started in the first place. THAT's where YOU come in. I try to feel from your writings, get a sense of something that turns me on and that would work for me and MY boy.
So my question would be:
How would you suggest a new, nervous dominant prepare for play? What ways would you suggest she find her confidence?
Not my first comment… Been a fan of your writing for quite a while now.
I think a word used by previous commenters really strikes a chord with me… echoes. Echoes of the feelings and sensations and experiences and moments I live with my Goddess. You have rare talent at expressing the essence of an experience, a feeling, a moment, a mood, and the aesthetic pleasure of reading you is what keeps me coming back.
The question challenge: what do you find the most fulfilling or satisfying in expressing your dominance over someone?
Well, since you asked so nicely. I think I've been reading your blog for maybe 6 months now. I adore your writing – it is well-done and flows beautifully. Many of the posts are hot enough to be insipring of fun activities. Im sure I found it accidentally while looking for erotica.
And since you seem to want to know who your readers are: I am an experienced Domina with an owned and collared strong fabulous hot slave (who I will be marrying this coming year). I am also a fairly famous artist, devoted mother, and kick-ass beautiful woman – who enjoys reading women like herself.
I am not shy…lol..but have never felt the inclination to leave a comment. I keep a blog of my own elsewhere, but have found getting to know people can take an awful lot of time out of an already busy life. It is enough to read your writing and enjoy it. My sincerest thanks.
I continure to read and enjoy your writing. I have posted in the past but not for a while.
I would love to know what you look like?
For some reason, I'm obsessed with the question of whether you are older than your boy. I think of it every time I visit. I would never have asked it (so rude to ask a woman her age!) but the guy in front of me asked what you look like. ;)
I awoke this morning to find all your comments and questions… fun!!! Thank you!
I welcome more (I am greedy like that!), and will put them in a 'Q&A' type post of their very own where they will get the attention they deserve.
I have commented a couple of times (both very short and sweet). I am quite new to this world after finding a sweet sub boy to play with. Your blog is the first I have ever followed and I love it. You have an amazing ability to take us with you and share a moment. I love coming online and finding a new post!
I have emailed you in the past (as Lils) to thank you for your beautiful writing and to ask some advice and your reply was lovely and so helpful.
My questions would echo that of Chappee's above. I would also like to ask how public your relationship is. Do your work colleagues and all of your friends know? (My life seems very compartmentalized at the moment) Is this lifestyle 24/7 for you both.
A question? *thinks* I don't think I have any. I've considered asking you to write about an average day with your sub but that's more of a request than a question.
Ha! I got it! What's an average day like with your sub? (do I get points for being crafty? =D)
We've chatted before, and I've commented more than once how many of your posts touch me. I love your strength and your vulnerability when you write- I hate the archetype of the Dominant woman as an aloof Goddess, and it's beautiful to me to read someone else who admits to fears, to love, to insecurity and to strength… and sometimes to the same psychopathic streak which runs through me. *hugs*
I enjoy your blog very much, thank you for it! You have some posts about meetings with submissives, but how or where did you find your submissive/s?
I stumbled across your blog about two weeks ago. I was recently introduced to the world of D/s by doing role playing online as a sub. I enjoyed it and so naturaly, I wanted to learn more about it. I'm glad I found you.
You express yourself beautifully and have proven to be very enlightening. As it turns out, this is a lot more than just “whips and chains”. It would also appear that the whole basis of a real D/s relationship is based on mutual trust and support. Both roles (Domme and sub) require a great deal of commitment, loyalty and genuine concern. It seems to me that it is more about power (energy?) transfer from one to another than anything else.
I'll admit that I am somewhat hesitant to even admit I enjoyed being a sub but, as it turns out, the more I study the whole thing, the more intriguing it becomes. Thank you for a tremendously interesting blog. I will continue to follow it and as questions arise, rest assured that you will be hearing from me.
Selena and Dymion expressed a large part of my attraction to your writing.
Your posts are visceral in their imagery and instantly evoke the feeling of interaction between dominant and submissive. You create an atmosphere of beauty in your domme musings.
I would love to know more details about you and your sub, but in the same way I may like to know more about a favorite radio personality: abstractly. Too many particulars – certainly a photo- would ruin the mystique. Perhaps there is some way you could satiate our (the readers) curiosity with occasional concrete details about place and time.
Since you asked for feedback, please be assured that the quality of your writing does not go unappreciated.
I'm so excited to hear from you all, I get a little lonely here on my blog where I sometimes feel like I am writing into the void.
For those who have commented before, hello again – I am glad you are still here! For the first time commenters, thank you for your delurk.
I will make the Q&A a Sunday post, so if anyone else is considering piping up, please do!
My reading of The Domme Chronicles commenced soon after you started writing them in Oct 08.
While i've made the occasional post the quality of your writing speaks for it self so usually there's little more i can add.
What impresses me about them as a sub male is the way you express and explore the raw emotions of a passionate and caring Femdom relationship.
It is also the only erotica i've read where the vulnerability of the Domina is emphasised and the emotional intimacy this allows for the sub.
Even as you feel his physical and emotional pain you still envy him for having your trust and being able to care and protect you.
As regards questions there are many i could ask so will take the liberty of asking more than one:
– Beyond the erotic encounters you write about what sort of lifestyle do you and your sub have together (e.g. interests/activities/values you share)?
– How long have you been aware of your inclination and how does it exist with other aspects of your life like family, children, work etc
– Are the Domme Chronicles your only writing experience or do you write on other subjects, if so is it fiction or non-fiction?
I found your blog here from Fetlife. I am a dominant woman that has just become comfortable w/ that the last few years. I am currently building a new relationship.
I blog at another site and have a few things written at Fetlife. I pop in here to read your posts every now and again.
Now to catch up on posts that you've written since I peeked the last time.
What's your favorite story you've written?
Hi, Ferns. I've been reading your blog for about eight months now, a little while after I began exploring BDSM and my nascent dominant side. Your post “Wanting” in particular has served as great inspiration for me in developing scenes and figuring out what I want from my sub, and your erotic writing is gorgeous and very hot.
However, the main reason I admire your writing and return to your blog is your emotional honesty about domination and your relationship with your guy. For instance, “Anger” really resonated with me when I read it, expressed the feeling I had of “putting pieces of myself out there,” putting myself out on a limb for my sub. Reading your words brought me to the realization that it is “okay” to feel vulnerable, scared, and/or hurt as a dominant–that those emotions don't somehow disqualify me from being a good domme. The knowledge that I was not alone in my emotional experience was a great gift. Thank you. :-)
Based on the other comments, I'm not the only one who feels that way, either. I think many subs forget that Dommes are human beings, not goddesses.
As for questions, I'd be interested to know whether you ever play with anyone else besides your boy, and if so, how you balance those relationships.
I have commented before, I can't resist. :p I found your blog from Fet some months ago and I have been enjoying it ever since.
You bring to me a sense of completion. Whenever I wonder what I'm lacking as a Domme I read your blogs again and it reminds me that I am complete as I am, that I do not need to alter myself for anyone.
And of course some posts are just an incredible turn on. :D I have had my boy read a few and the tomato soup cheeks he gets are enough to know that he likes them also.
I will ask though, the responses that your boy gives to you seem so subtle in your writing, how did you find them in the beginning? Did you invest time in studying him?
Im a cocky, confident, man in england. I am so not submissive to anyone who knows me…..but im hooked on looking in here…..and the way you asked me to come and say hello, well my heart beats ever so quicker doing as you asked.
My question, do you believe you are as sexy in “real life” as you come across on here?
Another regular reader checking in :). No question but much encouragement and appreciation, love what you do, adore your eroticism … keep up the great work!
Mistress160: Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement – I appreciate it very much!
Hi, I've only started reading recently and have been going through your older posts. I enjoy the way you write, it's very lyrical and your emotions come across clearly.
I also find your writing interesting because, as a sub, I've never really understood what's in it for someone who is dominant. You've shown me a different point of view from what I usually read and it's pretty eye opening.
I don't really have a question but best of luck to you.
fei: “I also find your writing interesting because, as a sub, I've never really understood what's in it for someone who is dominant. You've shown me a different point of view from what I usually read and it's pretty eye opening.”
Oh, I am glad of that. I think that unless you find a female dominant's blog (a real one that is not all about thigh highs, whips and mad fantasies), it is difficult to get exposure to the experiences of dominant women.
One of the reasons I started writing this blog was because I couldn't find experiences that I could relate to documented anywhere, so I really *wanted* to get another viewpoint 'out there'.
The way you write reminds me of my current flr. It is amazing to read from the Dom’s perspective. So in response ma’am to your request of a question. I offer this question as tribute: what is the number one thing a sub can do to please their Dom? Not in the bedroom or in our normal bbsm way but out in town at the grocery store with all the vanillas around.
I’m glad it reminds you of your relationship :).
The number one thing: Ask her what they can do to please her :).