My sent emails XXXIV

Sometimes, someone is so idiotic, I lose my calm, helpful demeanour…

I have to set the context for this one by showing the entire exchange.

I received this email from 45yo maledom nowhere near me:

What can I say.. You look great and got me captivated with your great pic too.. There once was a time that I didn’t believe in angels, but that has changed since i came across your profile…If I must say this, I think God must have created you on weekend so as not to be disturbed. You are beautiful and I just want to say I will like to get to know you..

I would note here that I have no pictures in my profile. This email makes no sense.

The rest of the exchange went like this:

Hello normalnickedguy,

Thank you for your effusive praise and admiration, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

1. I have no pictures up

2. I am a dominant woman.

I assume that you mis-hit with your target addressee.

Best of luck.

Ferns

All line breaks and spacing left unedited…

Hello Dear,
Its nice reading little in your profile
I have alot of interest in who am looking for in
life . I want someone serious,someone to cuddle with infront of a fire,someone who will know how to love and that is ready for a longterm relationship…I want a woman who is honest,caring,open-minded,trustworlthy,who will cherish me with love and care,passionate,humble,loyal,good personalty,goals oriented,affectionate,reliable,good hearted,and many more. I want someone who share same interest with me and that is ready to settle down someday.someone who will make me happy and that will be willing to share life together with me.one who will love me and that i will love aswell .someone who knows how to treat the heart of a man with love and care.someone that i can talk to at any time,one who will listen and will be ready to have the time for me whenever . I will like to get to know you more better.
Are you still single?
How old are you ?
How long have you been single?
What do you do for a living I mean ur work?
What are you looking for in a relationship?
What do you like about me ?
I will be glad if you can give me good responds to my questions . I will like to get meet you someday . Kindly tell me little more about yourself and Hoping to hear from you soon feel free to write ,me here
hope to hear from you soon
i will like to you to reply me at somename@yahoo.com or better still give me your yahoo id ……….
richard cares

Hello normalnickedguy,

I have to assume you are a spambot because no-one could actually be this stupid.

If you really ARE this stupid, then I feel sorry for you. But not that sorry because I used two syllable words in this email and you probably won’t understand them.

Ferns

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11 Comments

  1. #2 is a Nigerian romance scammer. They are fun to play with, because their English is not so good and they do a lot of cut and paste. You can get away with saying a LOT of bizarre stuff to them and making them do bizarre things before they catch on that you are using them as comedy fodder for a 419Eater type board.

    1. Ahhh… interesting. It did seem suitably nonsensical, but I’ve not heard of male ‘romance scammers’.

      I’ve never been privileged to be the target of one yet. Does this mean he will reply with more nonsense?! Oh goody!

      Ferns

        1. *laugh* OMG, that was hilarious!!

          “I am a little suspicious here – how can you be a real Engineering Manager and not know about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer? Everybody uses them in engineering management.”

          Perfect!! *laughs and laughs*

          Thanks for the link.

          Ferns

  2. Been there… on the receiving end of bullshit like that. Some “guy” out of Yugoslavia, something or other…
    It’s always a close call between being amused and being annoyed… Knowing it’s a spambot kinda helps there ;)

  3. I have never been romance scammed I feel so neglected *weeps*

    Coug

    P.S. First one of you smart arses that does it will be on the bad end of a stiletto heel in the eye, just so as you know

    1. Hahahahaha… “Dear beautiful perfect-arsed one…”

      “First one of you smart arses that does it will be on the bad end of a stiletto heel in the eye, just so as you know”

      Oh.

      Never mind.

      Ferns

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