On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part I

I was a pretty confident, smart, take-no-bullshit young woman, and I always attracted men who would fall over themselves to do what I wanted (even before I really figured out what I wanted). Given my later proclivities, I should have been happy with that, right?

But I found them insufferably dull because I would push at them, and they would roll over at the slightest hint of my disapproval, would become scared to even express an opinion in case it wasn’t one I liked, they were cowed. They weren’t doing what I wanted because they wanted me to be happy, … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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Sunday afternoon

I was feeling a little ‘meh’ today.

I invited my vanilla ex out for an afternoon drink at the surf club where we can sit overlooking the beach.

Pinot grigio, idle conversation, humpback whales just off shore, a volleyball game with good natured kids going on just under the deck.

Whales! Seriously. Just off shore. I am so fucking lucky!!

All of this makes me happy.

I watch a boy playing volleyball below the deck where I am sitting. He is thin, he wears oversized sunglasses, long board shorts, a t-shirt, chin hair with no moustache. He is compelling. I … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Vanilla submissive vs D/s submissive

I wrote this post earlier about how some people call lovely, attentive, considerate behaviour from a man ‘submissive’ instead of thinking of it simply as the behaviour of a fabulous man in love.

I coined the term ‘vanilla submissive’ to refer to vanilla men I have been with whose behaviour is pretty much exactly what I expect from my submissive. Only, they weren’t my submissive.

The comments on my previous post were lively and quite wonderful, and raised the very valid question of “well, what is the difference between ‘vanilla submissive’ and ‘D/s submissive'” and I thought my view on … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Submission or…?

I often hear people describe behaviours that they consider to be indicative of a great submissive, but when I think about it for a moment, they often aren’t.  What they are describing is often the behaviour of a wonderful, quality man. Perhaps a man in love, or in lust, or infatuated, or one who is trying to impress a date or one who is simply one of those lovely creatures who likes doing things for a woman he enjoys and respects.

How is it that ‘doing things for someone to make them happy’ is suddenly submission and not the pretty … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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A morning

4.45am

I am already awake when the radio comes on… it is early *checks the clock*… I yawn just writing that… it is early and awful… I am really not a morning person, I am cranky.

I roll over and smack it to turn it off… *groan*… lie there for a few moments, stalling…

My computer is right *there*… I turn it on, check emails from bed… usually at least one of them will make me smile.

I tumble out of bed, rub my eyes, I sleep nude, it is cool this early. I grab a sarong and … Continue Reading

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When vanilla and… not… collide

In the last 24 hours, on two separate occasions, I have told two vanilla men that I write ‘a sex blog’ and given them the name of it *.

That’s two vanilla men who I met while going about my business.

That’s two vanilla men who have my real name and phone number.

That’s two vanilla men who can now peek in here (hello R, L… yes, yes, this post is totally about you!).

That’s two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER (unless my vanilla ex counts… he doesn’t does he? No no, he totally … Continue Reading

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More submissive leanings

He was supposed to be on a conference call with me, we were doing a presentation to other senior North American colleagues. We had prepared for it over the past week, had done a run through the day before. I was doing the initial talking, and would hand over to him for his section. He was late, I had one of the men in the meeting give him a call… no answer. I started without him.

We got to his section and he still hadn’t turned up. I swore silently, apologised to the meeting participants for what would no doubt … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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