Submission or…?

I often hear people describe behaviours that they consider to be indicative of a great submissive, but when I think about it for a moment, they often aren’t.  What they are describing is often the behaviour of a wonderful, quality man. Perhaps a man in love, or in lust, or infatuated, or one who is trying to impress a date or one who is simply one of those lovely creatures who likes doing things for a woman he enjoys and respects.

How is it that ‘doing things for someone to make them happy’ is suddenly submission and not the pretty … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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A morning

4.45am

I am already awake when the radio comes on… it is early *checks the clock*… I yawn just writing that… it is early and awful… I am really not a morning person, I am cranky.

I roll over and smack it to turn it off… *groan*… lie there for a few moments, stalling…

My computer is right *there*… I turn it on, check emails from bed… usually at least one of them will make me smile.

I tumble out of bed, rub my eyes, I sleep nude, it is cool this early. I grab a sarong and … Continue Reading

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When vanilla and… not… collide

In the last 24 hours, on two separate occasions, I have told two vanilla men that I write ‘a sex blog’ and given them the name of it *.

That’s two vanilla men who I met while going about my business.

That’s two vanilla men who have my real name and phone number.

That’s two vanilla men who can now peek in here (hello R, L… yes, yes, this post is totally about you!).

That’s two more vanilla men than I have ever told EVER EVER EVER (unless my vanilla ex counts… he doesn’t does he? No no, he totally … Continue Reading

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More submissive leanings

He was supposed to be on a conference call with me, we were doing a presentation to other senior North American colleagues. We had prepared for it over the past week, had done a run through the day before. I was doing the initial talking, and would hand over to him for his section. He was late, I had one of the men in the meeting give him a call… no answer. I started without him.

We got to his section and he still hadn’t turned up. I swore silently, apologised to the meeting participants for what would no doubt … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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Submissive leanings

He is a work colleague: smart, driven, funny, engaging, good at his job. I like him and enjoy working with him. We talked all the time on the phone, but had never met because, well, he’s in North America and I am not.

We were on a call, I was carefully trying to explain something to him, he was distracted, obviously doing something else over there across the ocean. I got exasperated and snapped at him.

“Stop that and pay attention! You *know* boys can’t multi-task!”

He was shocked, he sincerely and sheepishly apologised, agreed with me that no, boys … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Flavour of vanilla

Once upon a time, I went out with vanilla boys, before I found any BDSM community, and after also. I was thinking recently about vanilla and submissive dates… they are quite different in my experience. Submissive men tend to wait, they are a little afraid of taking initiative in case they get it wrong, so they wait to be led, which is fine with me, but there are many many ways to show interest that can hardly turn out badly. All they need to do is ask themselves the question ‘will this make her happy?’ Vanilla men take that initiative, … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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She watched him

She watched him, a sheen of sweat on his face, a picture of concentration. He glanced at her now and then, to check if she was watching, to see if she was paying attention to him. She was.

She sipped her wine, keeping her eyes on him, the cold liquid sliding down her throat, honey, melon, lemon. The apartment smelt of garlic, herbs and a sharp tang of vinegar.

She went to him and pressed herself against his back, wine glass in one hand, the other slipping around his body, under his t-shirt, touching him gently. She didn’t need to … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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