I want to post something just to get my last off the top of the page.
I’d like it to be something more interesting, but emotionally, I am kind of tired of looking inward, and physically I am just tired. No doubt I will dissect this and rabbit on about it endlessly when I get home, but for now, I am pushing introspection aside.
Despite this trip not turning out as I had hoped, I am having a wonderful time and e is going to a lot of effort to look after me, which I love of course. Last night, … Continue Reading
I am not sure how much I want to write in this update about e, but I did want to just get it out there and fill in the details later. Or not.
The shortest of short stories is that there is no spark between us.
Sitting at a bar, after the first full day together, I asked e how he thought it was going. He said he wasn’t sure yet. I was a little more optimistic with some very light play being hot to me (though he touched me like he was handling a mack truck, so that was … Continue Reading
Three days to go before I get on the plane to go and see e!
My mind is all over the place, full of things to do, with a background niggle of things I probably should be doing but haven’t thought of yet, and random bursts of light and comets. It is like there are quickfire atoms in there that are all racing around at lightning speed, smashing off the walls and into each other, and I seem to be unable to grasp any of them firmly enough to wrestle them to the ground to get a proper handle on … Continue Reading
It is less than two weeks before I will get on the plane to see e.
Someone asked me if I am getting excited yet.
No, not yet.
I hate to wait, and excitement too early means nearly two weeks of waiting, and did I mention that I hate to wait. I hate it. Premature excitement would be frustrating and exhausting. I am preoccupied with practical things… travel insurance, digging out warm clothes, doing ‘pre trip’ organisation.
Though I am not letting excitement peak, I am letting emotions swim about unhindered, they float and compete with each other, shoving and … Continue Reading