It’s blogging tradition to do some kind of roundup at the end of the year. A summary of the year, some kind of ‘thing’, all thoughtful and reflective.
It’s better, of course, if it’s meaningful and poignant. Also better when drinking champagne. But when the year hasn’t been either of those things, and I’m not actually drinking champagne, it gets a little tricky.
I released two books in the last quarter of this year.
That might just about sum it up, to be honest. It covers both achievement and mood. My anger, fear, and sadness reached a peak in the last many months. I’ve been working hard to find and appreciate moments of joy. I guess overall the year slid more to the former.
Given I have nothing of significance to share as an ‘end of year roundup’, I’m just going to ramble for a bit.
Let me tell you about something I miss.
I miss F/m bloggers who talk openly about their lives and their relationships with passion and rawness.
There has been a big shift in sex blogs in the last few years. ‘Blogging as personal story telling’ is less of a thing. And blogs themselves are becoming redundant in favour of other types of content sharing: Tumblr (RIP), Instagram, Discord, Kik, Fetlife, and Twitter.
In the sex blogging world, I can easily find sex toy review blogs and fiction blogs and photo blogs and creative writing blogs, or those working on social issues or activism. Or some combination of those things. And many of those blogs are absolutely wonderful and the people who create them are doing amazing things.
I can also find vanilla sex bloggers who reveal themselves with unflinching honesty. I can find intimate M/f blogs about people’s lives and relationships.
But what I want is connection with F/m people and their stories: Triumphs and sadness, real life told through a lens of F/m. I want to peek into their windows and feel kinship, hope, sorrow, happiness for them as they navigate their lives and relationships. It seems to me that there are far fewer of those who regularly share their lives in that way, who post more than the occasional snippet in amongst their other content.
The ones I’ve found are on my blog list already. There must be more, surely? Is this you? Let me know, I’d love to find you.
For me, I have had so little femdommery to share, I sometimes feel an edge of panic about it. In that sense, I think the blog marks time for me:
“When was the last time I went on a date/kissed a sweet submissive/was excited about a potential sub/met someone available who fired me up/played” etc.
The answer for at least some of those is ‘August‘, by the way. Whether that ‘marking time’ is a good thing or not is debatable.
On the other hand, “when was the last time some sub was an arsehole” doesn’t require time-marking. Yesterday. That’s when. On any given day, I can guarantee that the answer is either ‘yesterday’ or ‘earlier today’.
Sometimes I think I should set up a completely anonymous blog separate to this one and let loose all the things I don’t and can’t talk about here, because it’s NOT anonymous. Not really. It’s linked everywhere, and people I chat with, email, meet, and know read it. I feel that responsibility keenly, and I feel like I earn and deserve that trust.
But still, the freedom of true anonymity, of that kind of raw petty honesty might be a revelation. I also think it would contain so much exhausting fuckery that it would circle back on me in a bad way. I resist putting negativity out into the world because it makes me feel bad, it lends weight and heft to those things, it comes back to me. While the idea of cutting loose in complete anonymity is appealing, I think we reap what we sow in a lot of ways, so perhaps not healthy. Then again, maybe I’ve already started it and I just haven’t told you :P.
So as a yearly wrap-up, this misses the mark pretty much.
Let me say this then: I appreciate all of you who spend a little time here with me, quietly following along. I see you, and thank you. And I really appreciate those of you who comment, who send emails, who ask questions, who tell me they got something out of a post, a book, a piece of advice, something I wrote. It’s no small thing to get that engagement and positivity back from the content I throw out into the world. That you take the time to do that is important to me. To feel like I provide value to someone is important to me.
I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable holiday filled with love and laughter. I know this time of year can be hard for many: If it is for you, I hope you can find some moments of lightness.
If you want to get me a Christmas present (and why wouldn’t you?!), buy one of my books (from 99c!). Or if you’ve enjoyed one of them already, leave a review on Amazon.
If you aren’t sure which book to buy, get this one, which is my heart and soul on the page:
If you’ve already bought it (thank you so much, I hope you loved it!), then get it for a friend as a gift. Hell, send it to me as a gift at ferns -at- domme-chronicles -dot- com, and I will give it away here on my blog.