It’s blogging tradition to do some kind of roundup at the end of the year. A summary of the year, some kind of ‘thing’, all thoughtful and reflective.
It’s better, of course, if it’s meaningful and poignant. Also better when drinking champagne. But when the year hasn’t been either of those things, and I’m not actually drinking champagne, it gets a little tricky.
I released two books in the last quarter of this year.
That might just about sum it up, to be honest. It covers both achievement and mood. My anger, fear, and sadness reached a peak in the last many months. I’ve been working hard to find and appreciate moments of joy. I guess overall the year slid more to the former.
Given I have nothing of significance to share as an ‘end of year roundup’, I’m just going to ramble for a bit.
Let me tell you about something I miss.
I miss F/m bloggers who talk openly about their lives and their relationships with passion and rawness.
There has been a big shift in sex blogs in the last few years. ‘Blogging as personal story telling’ is less of a thing. And blogs themselves are becoming redundant in favour of other types of content sharing: Tumblr (RIP), Instagram, Discord, Kik, Fetlife, and Twitter.
In the sex blogging world, I can easily find sex toy review blogs and fiction blogs and photo blogs and creative writing blogs, or those working on social issues or activism. Or some combination of those things. And many of those blogs are absolutely wonderful and the people who create them are doing amazing things.
I can also find vanilla sex bloggers who reveal themselves with unflinching honesty. I can find intimate M/f blogs about people’s lives and relationships.
But what I want is connection with F/m people and their stories: Triumphs and sadness, real life told through a lens of F/m. I want to peek into their windows and feel kinship, hope, sorrow, happiness for them as they navigate their lives and relationships. It seems to me that there are far fewer of those who regularly share their lives in that way, who post more than the occasional snippet in amongst their other content.
The ones I’ve found are on my blog list already. There must be more, surely? Is this you? Let me know, I’d love to find you.
For me, I have had so little femdommery to share, I sometimes feel an edge of panic about it. In that sense, I think the blog marks time for me:
“When was the last time I went on a date/kissed a sweet submissive/was excited about a potential sub/met someone available who fired me up/played” etc.
The answer for at least some of those is ‘August‘, by the way. Whether that ‘marking time’ is a good thing or not is debatable.
On the other hand, “when was the last time some sub was an arsehole” doesn’t require time-marking. Yesterday. That’s when. On any given day, I can guarantee that the answer is either ‘yesterday’ or ‘earlier today’.
Sometimes I think I should set up a completely anonymous blog separate to this one and let loose all the things I don’t and can’t talk about here, because it’s NOT anonymous. Not really. It’s linked everywhere, and people I chat with, email, meet, and know read it. I feel that responsibility keenly, and I feel like I earn and deserve that trust.
But still, the freedom of true anonymity, of that kind of raw petty honesty might be a revelation. I also think it would contain so much exhausting fuckery that it would circle back on me in a bad way. I resist putting negativity out into the world because it makes me feel bad, it lends weight and heft to those things, it comes back to me. While the idea of cutting loose in complete anonymity is appealing, I think we reap what we sow in a lot of ways, so perhaps not healthy. Then again, maybe I’ve already started it and I just haven’t told you :P.
So as a yearly wrap-up, this misses the mark pretty much.
Let me say this then: I appreciate all of you who spend a little time here with me, quietly following along. I see you, and thank you. And I really appreciate those of you who comment, who send emails, who ask questions, who tell me they got something out of a post, a book, a piece of advice, something I wrote. It’s no small thing to get that engagement and positivity back from the content I throw out into the world. That you take the time to do that is important to me. To feel like I provide value to someone is important to me.
I hope you all have a safe and enjoyable holiday filled with love and laughter. I know this time of year can be hard for many: If it is for you, I hope you can find some moments of lightness.
If you want to get me a Christmas present (and why wouldn’t you?!), buy one of my books (from 99c!). Or if you’ve enjoyed one of them already, leave a review on Amazon.
If you aren’t sure which book to buy, get this one, which is my heart and soul on the page:
If you’ve already bought it (thank you so much, I hope you loved it!), then get it for a friend as a gift. Hell, send it to me as a gift at ferns -at- domme-chronicles -dot- com, and I will give it away here on my blog.
Thank you for all you do. May 2019 be a better year for all!
2018 not so much fun.
Happy holidays to you too!
Thank you! And yes, 2019 is definitely going to be better!
I hope you and yours have a wonderful Christmas.
You don’t think 2018 was much fun, Miss Dora?
You have no good memories or experiences from which to drawl joy? That certainly is disappointing.
My condolences on a waste of a year for you. Perhaps there will be a boy, one whom won’t be outcast. One you won’t want to throw away.
Love your blog, of course! A fine summary. I totally agree with your point on the seeming reduction in F/m blogs sharing day to day trials, tribulations, and experiences. It is educational and inspirational to both sides of the slash, if only to see real life couples who are making it work. I will definitely forward any that I come across. I think there are a few more submissive men, but even those are not super abundant (THOUGH GREATLY APPRECIATED)
As always, thank you for your wit and insight. Best wishes for a new year filed with fun and fem dommery!
Thank you :). And I would appreciate it if you let me know if you find some.
Best wishes for you in the new year also :).
I enjoy your blog. Mine is F/m. I invite you to visit. It’s http://collaredmichaelcom.blog.
Thank you so much for the link to your blog. I will definitely go and check it out :)).
Wishing You a wonderful Christmas Ferns. i can’t begin to tell You just how deeply happy i’ve been since giving total submission to my Lady, but as crazy as the world is right now, my little corner of it feels so warm, safe and secure… what joy Ladies such as You have given. You are a joy to follow and always a guiding light!
I ALWAYS love hearing about people being deeply happy. Have you shared your happy femdom story with me yet? If not, please go take a look at the details to see if you and your lovely Lady are interested in sharing it :).
I appreciate your kind words, and hope you had a wonderful Christmas :).
This is great and all, but oughtn’t a proper “round up” include some statistics? I mean, if I’m to make the MASSIVE effort of dragging my mouse ALL THE WAY TO YOUR BLOG, don’t I deserve a little graph porn at least?
Wishing you the happiest of New Years. (Well, I suppose, not the happiest of New Years, because the implication then is that the following year would be necessarily less happy and nobody wants that. So, let’s leave it at, have a happy new year!)
Bahahaha! You totally deserve some graph porn! HERE YOU GO!
I will have a middling-happy New Year so there is room for an even better one NEXT year :D.
Ok, THAT made me laugh. Also, that Ferns customized (I think) a joke for me – well count me flattered!! Thank you. I DO adore your blog. I do wish you a fabulous new year full of love, laughs, and all that you desire.
Totally customised, just for you :).
And I hope your 2019 is wonderful also.
I love you blog and your books, both happy and angry (I tried to leave a review for the latest one but Amazon flagged it as inappropriate and wouldn’t let me try again). In fact, I tell people that I want to be you when I grow up, though we’re roughly the same age.
My blog is nowhere near the caliber of your’s and my writing skills are lacking but it is femdom if you want to peak. https://polyandkinky.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much :). And I really appreciate you trying to leave a review.
I don’t understand why Amazon makes is SO hard: Frustrating.
“In fact, I tell people that I want to be you when I grow up, though we’re roughly the same age.”
*laugh* I’m aiming for ‘crazy cat lady’, you can too! :P.
Thank you also for the link to your blog and hell yes I want to take a peek!! :)
You are wonderful and one of my favorite dreams.
But I’m not a dream, said the dream, I’m as real as you!
And thank you for the compliment :).
Hello my lovely. May we always be moving ever forward and upward. Here’s to an awesome 2019. xoxo
I’ll be living vicariously through your goodness, and I’m so happy about it :). Hope 2019 is wonderful.
Just to say, I joined FL a few months ago (you were my first friend in fact) and for me it doesn’t even begin to come close to blogs such as yours.
Have a great Christmas and NY!
Hello there. I’m happy to be your First Friend over there :).
Happy Christmas and NY to you and yours also.
You need to drink more and worry less! I’m a Dr you know*
*caveat I own some scalpels and have a first aid kit in the car
Obviously the scalpels mean you’re totally legit and not at all some scary serial killer. I’m working on it, Doctor :).
Hey, can you still see your review on Rage on Amazon.co.uk? I can’t see it any more, I think they deleted it (I have no idea why, they seem to arbitrarily do that across the site :/). Just thought I’d check in case it was me.
Ugh no, it’s gone, should I add it again?
Sure. I’m curious if they will remove it a second time. One theory is that they have an algorithm that checks your social media connections (they’ve somehow decided that people you know can’t possibly give legit reviews, so they remove them: WTF?!).
Maybe don’t use all the swear words this time :P.
I will give it a go, that would make sense I have 0 social media presence
Apparently, I can’t leave a review as I already left one!
JUST SAY YOU HATE ME AND BE DONE WITH IT!! *sobs in the corner*
(thank you for retrying, I appreciate it)
I don’t hate you, however, I am developing a real dislike for Amazon after a “chat” with them. The gist of which was meh not our problem re the review or lack of
*waves* I’ll getting back to myself a bit, and will hopefully be showing upin comment section more regularly this year.
I actually made a major change in my blog with the new year and it will now almost exclusively be personal storytelling. But I don’t know how much kink will be in there (some, bc I can’t talk about my relationships without kink coming up. But not a focus). I also don’t qualify as F/m since I came out as nonbinary last year, and my pet did the same a year before me.
I get the appeal of a truly anonymous blog, but think you are right not to try it. Personally, I tend to ‘scream into the void’, just write it all down, get it out, and then delete it. But doesn’t work for everyone
Oh, I’m glad you’re getting back to it :). I look forward to reading it.
Heh… I have a journal that I bang stuff out in. I never delete any of it so I have years worth :P.