A question on Fetlife:
Is your dominance shaped by a reaction against anything?
The answer to this is complicated. I think we all look back into our past for confirmation of ‘who we are’, so there is a lot of bias in that kind of hindsight.
Sexually I vividly remember rape play with barbie and ken dolls (my sister was horrified and never let me play with hers again), and finding a deliciously dirty non-con … Continue Reading
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Despite my best efforts, I have not yet lined up any more dates other than my last.
And by ‘best efforts’, I mean ‘I invited men who I thought were even marginally interesting to go out with me’. That number is not high, but it’s more than zero and is a huge departure from my normal process where I won’t meet anyone until I genuinely and absolutely think there is real potential. Dating immersion, … Continue Reading
Trying to date takes up all of my writerly energy (not even dating, just trying to date).
I’m not sure why that is really.
It’s not like I’m spending hours a day thinking up witty replies to stellar messages. Most of the emails that land in my inbox are about the same level of lame one liner as I’ve already mentioned in this post. I’m not even bothering to reply to those.
I did … Continue Reading
His introductory email was thoughtful and articulate. He’d not only read my profile, but he had also looked through my many Q&A responses and his note referenced both.
He was 6’2, a little younger than me, no photos.
I suggested we meet after a few exchanges. This must be a new record for me. My new strategy: ‘Dating immersion’. I didn’t ask for a photo. To be honest, I forgot.
He was nervous he said … Continue Reading
If nothing else, putting a profile up on a vanilla dating site allows me the luxury of realising that online dating is online dating and the ratio of ‘oh FFS’ to ‘well, hello!’ in my inbox is probably going to be much the same as kink sites at about 1000 to 1.
I’ve not put anything about D/s in my profile, though there is a hint there for someone who might pick it up, but … Continue Reading
There are a number of vanilla blogs* I read, written by women of 40+ who are single and dating. Sex bloggers. Good ones. And by that I mean that they write well, are smart, funny, open, honest and raw.
There is a hugely stark contrast between all of them and me in that they are all prolific daters, are on multiple dating sites, are very sex-focussed, are delighted to have casual sex/open to late night … Continue Reading