I’m lucky. I don’t get a lot of hate mail despite my prolific presence on the internet.
But I do get some. From strangers with whom I have never interacted as far as I know.
The last couple:
“You sound high maintenance and up yourself” – 58M
“Old disgusting bitch” – 31M
These are mild, I know many people get much worse. I recorded this one that was so over the top that it made me laugh.
I don’t react with hurt or shock: mostly I’m just baffled by it. The ‘why’ is beyond my grasp. I just can’t imagine the kind of person who would behave this way.
I want to ask them WHY they would send such a thing to a stranger that they don’t know. Just… why?
What was it about about me that made them feel compelled to throw their opinions at me? Have I espoused some viewpoint somewhere that they simply cannot abide? Have I presented some version of myself that they feel really needs to be taken down a peg or two? Are they projecting something onto me that they hate so much that they can’t possibly keep it to themselves? Do I represent something so terrible that they feel they simply *must* address it in such a way?
Though really the question I want to ask even more is: What is it about THEM that makes them feel compelled to write something nasty to some random person on the internet that they don’t even know. Does it make them feel better about themselves? Does it give them some respite from whatever unhappiness they have going on in their lives? Does it somehow quell something that is gnawing at their insides?
Of course, I never ask them these questions because I don’t want to engage with people who are capable of behaving that way and I doubt I could get any insight from trying.
And sometimes I want to send them a little note, without any irony or sarcasm:
“I’m sorry you are so unhappy, I hope your life gets better.”