Continuing my experiment with Q&A from Fetlife discussions…
1. Is protocol an integral part of your kink, and if so, are your protocols more physical (kneeling, posture,etc) or verbal (use of titles, granting permission to speak)
I have a mixture of both, they are pretty light and they are at my whim.
2. Does protocol to you mean specific ritual actions and phrases that are for play only, or,
No, some are constants.
3.Are protocols a central and constant part of your relationship?
Yes, some are.
I like to have my submissive call me ‘Ma’am’ pretty much all the time, even though (when I have one), he is my primary romantic partner and my sweetheart. I have little rules for him that reinforce the dynamic (he is not to sit on the furniture without my permission, he is not to start eating before I do, he greets me at the door kneeling when I come home, I have a little ritual for putting on his collar etc).
4. How did you develop your protocols?
I figured out what I liked, what makes me feel warm and fuzzy and melty, and I use those.
5. If you’re a fan, please tell me why you like them, and what you get out of them.
For me and mine, D/s is a way of expressing affection and intimacy. When I tell him what to do, when I ask something of him, when I ‘make’ him do something, I am saying “Come closer, baby”. When he does something submissive, says “Yes, Ma;am”, performs some little ritual, he is saying, “This, sweetheart, is for you.”
I find those things an incredible sweetness… they are hot and close making and I adore them.