I was talking with a friend about representation of BDSMers and F/m in particular, and how important it is to see normal healthy F/m relationships, to see versions of ourselves, ‘people like us’, and how rare it really is.
In the F/m world, the only people who actively court publicity, who do marketing, who are quoted in the media, who show their faces openly, who make noise, are pro-Dommes and findoms. And marketing is inevitably the glam and the glitter and the roleplaying.
Everyone else pretty much keeps their heads below the vanilla-flavoured parapet and does their thing quietly and … Continue Reading
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~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~
Fat, Beautiful, Worthy
Not going great
what pro-choice looks like in practice
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Mx Nillin Fucks… Melons!… Continue Reading
There are multiple reasons why I’m shit at casual. It’s not just one thing, but they all end up in the same shitpile.
I’m going to reiterate up-front that my inability to do casual is not the cougarling’s fault: He was, if anything, on the wrong side of my failed experiment, and that failure sits on my side.
The main issue is that I can’t work up passion for someone I’m not all that interested in.
With the cougarling, we got something going to a point in his previous visits because I was ‘doing the work’: I was doing emotional, … Continue Reading
I want to talk about wider lessons I learnt about trying something casual, but I’ll do that in another post.
One of the things, though, is this: If we aren’t compatible, I really need to not talk to him.
Because it breaks the tenuous hold on ‘whatever this is’ that we have established.
I knew it with holy-fuck-beautiful-eyes, and told him explicitly: ‘no talking’. It worked. But those were short visits of a few hours, not ‘an entire long weekend 24/7’.
Let me say this up-front: The cougarling is a lovely man, we were sweet and kind with … Continue Reading