Red hot poker

NaNo is forcing me to post completely random things here because:
a) I have no mental energy to actually *write* anything,
b) posting *anything* here makes me feel like I’ve at least done *something*, and
c) I am procrastinating and therefore fucking about, and in said fuckery I am finding being sent random ‘stuff’ that tickles me.

Like this:

  1. Heat the end of a bent paper clip (or a similar size metal wire) over an open flame until it is red hot. Use a pair of pliers to hold the paper clip during sterilization.
  2. While it is still very hot, touch the tip of it to the injured fingernail. This is not a painful procedure for most people.
  3. The heat of the clip will burn a small hole in the fingernail. It is not necessary to press hard on the fingernail to burn a hole.
  4. As the paper clip is removed, blood should start releasing through the small hole. If not, retry the procedure until blood comes out and pressure is relieved.

Does this not sound like some awesome-scary-hot play? Stick a red hot pointy thing through your fingernail?!!

But it’s not… noooo. It’s medical advice from the National Institute of Health for if you smash your finger with a hammer or something (and yes, they do use the term ‘smashed’!): Smashed finger.

“Come here baby, I’m just going to make this paper clip red hot and then we’ll…”

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13 Comments

  1. I find the bit about it not being painful kind of surprising. Perhaps it's because there will be very little energy contained in the thin metal wire.

    I do know that an excellent way to torture someone without leaving marks is via the fingernail. Take the red hot end of a cigar or cigarette (or soldering iron or your tipped burning thingy of choice) and hold it to the middle of the nail. For a moment or two it doesn't hurt, as the nail acts as an insulator. Then it very quickly becomes incredibly painful. Yet after removing it there's no sign of damage. I think it rates as one of the most painful things I've ever had done to me, so use with caution.

    -paltego

  2. DC: “Well first of course You must do something fun to cause the subungual hemorrhage… THEN you get to make a red hot poker!”

    It just gets better and better!

    Ferns

  3. paltego: “I find the bit about it not being painful kind of surprising.”

    Me too! Especially when it's already injured! I'm thinking that maybe *because* of the injury, the blood pooled under the nail protects the quick.

    “I do know that an excellent way to torture someone…”

    Interesting.

    I have recently seen pictures of someone with needles inserted under the nails *cringes*

    Ferns

  4. I suppose the idea is that you aren't touching the skin underneath…as in AT ALL. If you do, then you're probably in for extreme pain, as someone mentioned above. Hmmm, risky procedure that might be extremely painful to alleviate slight pain? No thanks. I'll let time heal that wound.

  5. D: “Red hot needles to fingernails? I have officially lost the will to lunch. Of course, hot needles anywhere else seems fine”

    *laugh* You know it's true!! If this had been the same story with just touching it to the skin, we are talking about something like cell popping, which is *much* less scary than this!!

    Ferns

  6. Gregory Allen: “I suppose the idea is that you aren't touching the skin underneath…as in AT ALL. If you do, then you're probably in for extreme pain, as someone mentioned above.”

    I think that's right yes. You hit the pool of blood and NOT skin… *cringes at the 'going too far' thought*

    Ferns

  7. Someone slammed a locker in my finger in H.S. I went to the family doc. This paper clip deal worked. He put two small holes in the nail and the blood came out so the nail wouldn't have to come off. Pain free.

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