When your submissive says ‘no’

© Dec 2019 update: New guide available now: How To Handle Disobedience

A blog post by Die Starke Frau prompted me to write this response because I see in her writing a struggle that a lot of new Dommes have: What do you do when your submissive disobeys?

She said:

One thing that definitely throws me off balance is when the man is refusing to submit. When I develop an idea of what to do with him and how to fuck with his mind, and if then,

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Loves: 33
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What I am doing

Things I have done today:

  • Removed old toenail polish
  • Cut and filed my nails
  • Buffed newly cropped nails
  • Moisturised my feet
  • Written emails to friends
  • Perused blogs
  • Read various Fetlife threads
  • Ripped the hairs out of my legs
  • Made lunch
  • Browsed fabulous shoes on the internet
  • Followed random web links
  • Shared irrelevancies on Twitter
  • Looked at sand in my apartment and wondered how it got there
  • Considered washing my car
  • Washed up
  • Decided what wine
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Loves: 2
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I’ll be in the bar…

Just before our love got lost, you said, “I am as constant as the Northern Star.”
And I said, “Constantly in the darkness, where’s that at?”
If you want me I’ll be in the bar.

…Love is touching souls
Surely you touched mine ’cause
Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time

You’re in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

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Loves: 6
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Conversations with a bot

A submissive man mentioned in a recent Fetlife discussion that he had started talking on IM with a ‘dominant woman’ that he met from one of the groups. He said she seemed interesting until he figured out that she was a bot.

In the interests of research, I sought out a bot to have a conversation with. It looked like this:

Me: Hello baby, how are you cutie pie?
Bot: With a keyboard.
Me:Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Understanding is hot

I am not a special flower in saying that most people I run into don’t understand me: I think pretty much everyone can say that. It’s why finding someone who ‘gets me’ is so powerful. We run around in the world making pleasant chit chat about chit chatty things and it is ‘nice’ and nobody really connects with anybody, and so it goes.

Sometimes we even convince ourselves that ‘nice’ is enough for a potential … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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e[lust] #31

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #32 ? Start with the rules, come back in January to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

A Feminist Defense Continue Reading

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Love Our Lurkers day!

October 21st was International Fisting Day. Not really my thing, so I couldn’t get all excited about it.

However, today is Love Our Lurkers (LOL) day for bloggers. Now THAT’S something I can get behind!

It was started by Bonnie who said this:

On Thursday, November 10, many spanking, DD, and Ds bloggers will publish posts where they invite their readers to comment. Any reader, even first timers, are welcome to participate, but the people

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Loves: 2
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