About me

Why this blog?

When I went looking around for information/stories/porn around female dominant/male submissive relationships, I could find precious little out in the webosphere that actually reflected my experience, that made me go ‘me too!’, that described how I saw it, felt it, how I knew it could be. I found it frustrating that even the ‘real life’ writings seemed to be about one dimensional Dommey McDomme finding ways to ‘punish’ her lowly minions. Grrrr…

I wanted to read about real people living in happy, healthy, troubled, flawed, loving D/s relationships where the Domme’s submissive was her primary partner, where he was cherished, adored, and opened up like a ripe peach for the taking. I wanted incredible hotness and sex and affection and beauty. I wanted hurt hearts and struggles and magic moments and some truth that I could relate to. I couldn’t find it, so I created it.

I would be lying by omission if I didn’t also admit that I am a writing attention-whore. My blog gives me a space to pimp my writing out, to put it out there on the street corner, wearing a thong, suspenders and a top hat, and always, fabulous killer heels!

Getting feedback, having a dialogue with readers, the goodness that I get back from feeling this sense of community in my little corner of the blogosphere cannot be overstated. My readers often make me laugh, they move me, they teach me, it is wonderful. And sometimes, when I get a note from a young Domme saying ‘you made it easier to be me’, or from a new submissive expressing relief that he doesn’t have to be ‘that worthless worm guy’, I swear that I bounce around doing air punches and going ‘Yessssss!!!!’. It is happy-making to the nth degree.

Yeah yeah, blah blah, that doesn’t tell me anything about you!

Geez… fine… The obligatory ten things about me:

  • I wrote a book – Domme Chronicles: erotic tales of love, passion, & domination! Go take a look.
  • I’m a first generation Australian born of Dutch-Indonesian migrant parents, and never spoke any English until I went to school.
  • The above often makes people think I am a tiny Asian woman (Dutch, people, DUTCH!).
  • I’m 5’10, slim, blonde (yeah, I know… hubba hubba!).
  • I have a thing for beautiful shoes. To me, they are like wearable art. I like how they look, I like how they make me aware of my body, I like how they make my hips swing when I walk.
  • I post pretty prolifically on Fetlife where I say thoughtful and interesting things, you can stalk me there.
  • I am impressively lazy, truly, it is one of my most endearing traits.
  • I have travelled some. Where to?  I’m glad you asked!  Here and here.
  • Champagne is my favourite drink (Ruinart, followed by Veuve Clicquot, then Perrier Jouet, just in case you are planning to buy me some).
  • I am single, and have posted a personal ad for submissive boys. I’m open to sexy, attractive, intelligent, funny, emotionally healthy boys sidling up to me and being courageous enough to smile shyly in my direction.
  • I’m fit, but still working on looking *even more awesome* naked with my body project.
  • I’m smart, but not as smart as I think I am.
  • I did an interview for Masocast if you want to hear me talk about myself in my Australian accent (even though everyone knows Australians don’t have accents!).
  • Then I did a second Masocast interview because it’s all about me, you know!
  • I can’t count to ten.

Oh, and if you are a new and unsure submissive exploring the BDSM world for the first time, welcome!!  And please, please, read this advice… it’s short, and useful, and the wimmins will love you for knowing it.

Do you want to know why I think submissive men are beautiful? I created a celebration of the beauty of submissive men to show you, go and take a look.

One of my other favourite projects on this blog is a collection of happy femdom stories contributed by generous readers. I will always want more of these, so if you would like to tell your story, please do!

Not enough secrets about me? Well then, you will have to do a bit of work for more.  I have created an About Me label to categorise all the blog posts that tell you some of my secrets… that makes up for me not actually writing more useful stuff here, right?  Of course it does!

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39 Comments

  1. Thank you for this wonderful blog. I really loved the approach. I’ve become a fan of ur words. Love it! dutch, asian, whatever you are doesnt matter. You are dominant and you have the right attitude. That matters :)

    1. Thank you for the lovely comment, caneslice. I’m glad you are enjoying it!

      Come, sit by the fire, grab a drink… I will tell more stories and secrets!

      Ferns

  2. I would love to post copies of your blog entries from time to time in EnchantrixEmpire.com (with full URL references to your blog of course). May I have your permission to do this, please, Ferns? I think there are a lot of kindred spirits over there who would love to read what you write.

    1. Thank you for asking, Tom. I went and had a look at your site, and frankly, I don’t get it.

      Please email me about where you would be putting my content: I couldn’t find any place where it would be appropriate since a lot of the site seems to be commercial.

      Ferns (ferns AT domme-chronicles DOT com)

  3. Ms Ferns,

    i saw a comment Your posted on FetLife – “Online Dominence group, and was lead here after visiting Your profile there – i guess i was intrigued to learn more about You … *shy smile*.

    i thoroughly enjoyed my visit here. it is nice to seen a Lady who knows who She is and what She wants. i am impressed by Your insight and willingness to share.

    Respectfully,

    willy

    1. Hello willy,

      I am not sure which comment or group you are referring to (it is not ringing a bell), but it is lovely to see you here regardless, and thank you for shyly peeking above the parapet. Welcome!

      “i am impressed by Your insight and willingness to share.”

      *smile* And thank you for the lovely compliment.

      Ferns

  4. You’ve just given me the “Ah! That’s ME!” moment. I’ve just started my blog, as a way to explore and discern and understand these thoughts and feelings and okay yes obsessions I’m having about dominance. I’m RUNNING back to 2008… please do be patient with me as I catch up.

    ~A

    1. *smile* I’m very glad for the ‘Ah! That’s ME!” moment!!

      I will be very patient, going back in time is exhausting!

      I look forward to seeing how your new blog develops, and welcome!

      Ferns

  5. Just discovered this site today and want to say that I find it an excellent resourse as opposed to all else written, the reflections,sharing and honesty,is truly a gift that I want to thank you for.

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, PrincessDonna! I’m so happy that you are getting something out of it and that you stopped by to say so!

      Ferns

  6. Hello Ms.Fern,

    I stumbled upon your blog and I got sucked in.
    I enjoy it, I like your musings and a good lot of things (tho`I’ve not read all,yet) you’ve chronicled.
    I think I’ll make a point to come and visit your part of the bloggersphere. ( did I even say that correctly?

    That said, Cheers!

    1. Oh, I’m all for the sucking in, I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it, and please do come and visit lots. I will make cookies.

      Ferns

      PS You were close: Blogosphere

  7. In my imagination, you dwell in my cephalic vein, just below the halfway point of my bicep. I have a freckle that marks your presence there. It whispers your secrets to me. I write them down and store them in a tiny box hidden in my brain for safe keeping. Occasionally they sneak out at night to inspire my fingers. And oh! The words my fingers write because of them delight me! Like you. You delight me. Both imaginary and real. How do you do that?

    1. *smile* What a wonderful comment, I would like to be living in a vein, and marked by a freckle.

      And I don’t know how I delight you, but I’m delighted that I do!

      Ferns

  8. Your comments on Fetlife drew me here and I am now even more interested since I read your About Me section. I am a female submissive but I am fascinated with our differences and how our kink manifests itself. I would like to add your blog to my blog roll if this is OK with you.

    1. Welcome! And I understand what you mean, the differences are often the most fascinating part of other people’s stories, regardless of roles.

      I’d be happy if you added my blog to your blog roll, please do!

      Ferns

  9. I absolutely love this blog. It is so powerful and beautiful. It’s got me thinking about things that never crossed my mind before, and that’s always a good thing (not necessarily a nice thing, but a good thing)

    1. Thanks so very much for your lovely comment! I am all smiley faced over it.

      I’m also really pleased about the thinking thing, and yes, I agree… sometimes thinking can be a damn pain in the arse even when it’s really a good thing!

      Ferns

  10. Good evening to you Ms. Fern on this wonderful late autumn night.
    Don’t mind me intruding with a message this Thursday evening, but I have just come across your site, and from what I’ve read, it sounds so wonderful, a real breath of fresh air that I have been hoping to find..A Woman who speaks from the heart and still surveys the world to keep in tune with people in general.
    I intend to further read your blog when I’m off and I would be delighted to share a bit about myself as well. I’m at a point in life where ideally, want to connect with new individuals who can embrace aspects of this lifestyle by combining interests, knowledge, etc to result in something great in time.
    At 27 yrs old, I’m mature enough to understand essential aspects and the openness needed and most importantly to know and follow what’s in my heart. It is also an age where there’s no need to rush into anything in particular at the moment, and instead focus on the possibility of creating the proper basis/strong foundation for new friendships and experiences :)
    My apologies, I tend to ramble a bit at times >_<

    sincerely,
    William

    1. *smile* Hello William. Thank you for your lovely message, I am glad you are enjoying my blog.

      I liked your comment very much, no need to apologise for ‘rambling’. I do hope your explorations are going well. Have you had a look at Fetlife.com? You might find some of the discussions and groups there of interest.

      Ferns

  11. Shoes separate us from the lower mammals. :)

    But in addition to that I loved reading this introduction.

    I like finding a place where submissives are treasured for who they are. As I have read and researched what is means to be Dominant I kept having this vague feeling of disgust for the idea that I must be some awful man-hater. Which I am not. I adore submissive men for who they are…and for the way that they are.

    Thanks for taking your thoughts public.

    1. “Shoes separate us from the lower mammals.”

      *laugh* I love that statement.

      And yes, we are out there, the submissive-loving dominant women, and quite vocal, but there is *so much* of the stereotypical dross available that it can still be hard to find us.

      I’m glad you found me and can relate to my approach. There are more of us – take a look at my blog list.

      Ferns

  12. Finally caught up to present! Your writing is beautiful and is only surpassed by your wonderful sense of humour. Thank you for answering questions I didn’t realize I had, dispelling myths that I thought were the truth and for helping me see that no ONE way is the “right way” to Domme. I truly look forward to following you further down your path as I continue to explore my own.

    1. *smile* I love that you went through my old posts and left me some lovely comments back there. Thank you!!

      And I’m so delighted to hear about the things you got out of it, that makes me happy. Squeee!!

      Ferns

  13. Hi Ferns

    The more i read of your willing openness to expose yourself like this on the blog just blows my mind, i am aware of how many critics there are in the world and the attacks that occur over writing anything.

    Keep up the great work,You touch my heart and mind, something a lot of people can not do.

    I really enjoy your writing and pay you homage for it.

    Regards
    John

    1. Hello John,

      *smile* Thank you so much for your most lovely comment. I’m glad you are getting something out of my writing, and I really appreciate the sweetness.

      Ferns

  14. I am very glad to read your insight on the Lady Dominant / s subject. By reading your words and experiencing your vibes, I can tell you have risen above the mainstream of people who live this lifestyle. You are a wonderful lady with lots of heart. Soulful, passionate and intuitive. Tom

  15. Just found ur site. looks nice. nice to see a msg from this year. so that means u r still around.
    snd msg on fetlife..but no response..then notice how old they are..when msg was snt…plus also starting to think (do that at times) the femdom or women that are dominate n let other know n want a male slave are getting fewer by the day.
    one of things about on fetlife a. a poor slave stands no chance.
    b. women say she want a slave..but if slave has hair in ears..dont want slave.
    my thought (their it gose again thinking) that a women wanted slave to it could b trained. Only one perfect person every on earth. J.C.

  16. Hello J.C.

    Aw, bless. I’m glad you like what you have seen of my site so far, though methinks you have looked in the wrong place if you think my comment HERE is my latest activity.

    1. Look here, I’m still actively posting. This ‘About Me’ page is probably the most static one on this site.

    2. I have no idea who you sent a message to over on Fetlife, but it wasn’t me. I’m very active over there also.

    3. I also am not keen on hair in ears, so he’d have to get rid of that, all the better to hear me with. Doesn’t seem so onerous a requirement.

    Ferns

    1. Thank you so much for the note *smile*. I’m really glad you found your way over here and even more glad that you’re enjoying it. Thank you for taking the time to let me know.

      Ferns

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