Online dating & ‘when to meet’

Bonnie made this comment on my last post where I said that meeting someone from online quickly is not a thing I normally do.

“I’m always curious about why people would rather incessantly text than meet. You’ve talked a lot about your energy for socializing and I understand that as a reason. I want to meet as soon as possible bc if there is no spark, I don’t want to waste my 2-3 good lines that come to me every month or so on someone who won’t last past the first date!”

This is absolutely fair (especially about the ‘2-3 … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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One week, two dates

The not-dates

The vanilla dude I asked out last year and who I nudged recently was also overseas, said he’d be in touch when he got himself organised (whatever that means).

The hot older man said he would respond ‘on Tuesday’ when he’s back from an overseas trip. I thought he meant the upcoming Tuesday, but either he meant THIS Tuesday (tomorrow) or he’s drifted off.

I didn’t reply to the last from the chisel-jawed climber. It was boring and felt like work.

(having written the above I’m now wondering if ‘I’m overseas’ is the new ‘no thanks’. Discuss.)Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Vanilla datery

Public domain mark'Untitled' by Unknown

I’ve been on the vanilla dating site, talking to a few potentials, as well as getting back in touch with the vanilla man I asked out last year. So busy!

The latter has the ball firmly in his court, I will not contact him again. I’ve made my interest clear twice now: When he’s back in-country (in a couple of weeks, he said), either he will contact me or he won’t.

In the former group from the dating site are three men.

The hot older man who I initiated contact with: He has a great smile, a lovely … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Vanilla dating and me

I texted the vanilla man I asked out last year. I know it’s been FOR-EVAAARR, but he was still on my mind. Enough time has passed for him to deal with the stuff that was going on in his life, so I figured he was worth another nudge.

I also optimistically rejoined a vanilla dating site. Cue the usual ‘wtf is WRONG with people’ type messages:

Hi how are you feeling now love feel free to talk to me anytime you want to okay love my name is [nobody cares] and I would like to talk to you please

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Loves: 10
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The value of the ‘fuck yeah!’

The contact with lovely man I had a cute chat with at the BDSM event didn’t go anywhere and a friend asked me ‘well why don’t you contact him again?’

Because there’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there.

I was the one who made the approach to talk to him at the event, I was the one who asked for his contact details, we exchanged a couple of friendly emails after the fact. I sent the last one, to which he didn’t reply. There’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there from him. So why would I go after him? Pro-tip: I wouldn’t.

I have … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Meeting a sub… or not

I mentioned in this post that I’d set up a time for drinks with a lovely young submissive who wrote me a stellar introductory email and with whom I’ve been emailing since.

The meeting was today in fact (wow, writing every day really does make this all a bit ‘real-time’ doesn’t it?).

He’d read a lot of my content, done his research, even found my personal ad and said he met all the criteria in it :). He’s young, almost half my age, but in our emails, I’d not asked too many age-related questions because I was trying not to … Continue Reading

Loves: 23
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Dating & socialising #dommelife

I have had a very uncharacteristic surge of social energy in the last month or so.

So much so that I invited kinky strangers to my house (what?!) prior to going to a BDSM party next month (double what?!!).

Both of those things are so much out of character that it seems somewhat bizarre, even to me.

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH FERNS?!

One of the catalysts for this sudden outreach is that my best friend (my vanilla ex, who is the loveliest of lovelies) is in a bit of trouble with his relationship, and it has come to my … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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