And that was that… OR WAS IT?!

The vanilla man is not proactively showing interest. I vaguely wonder if that’s a vanilla/submissive divide. But honestly, it doesn’t matter much.

I felt it on the weekend after we didn’t have the date. His communication about possibly not being able to make it was good, so that was fine. But when the get-together was clearly not going to happen (and didn’t happen), we both dropped communication.

While that would have been fine if we had an alternative time lined up, we didn’t have anything else lined up. I hate texting, so don’t do any ‘just because’ chatty exchanges with … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Well hello, vanilla man

After a lot of sage advice in my comments and on twitter, I did indeed invite the vanilla man to come and have a drink with me.

Hi vanilla man: If you’re interested in a drink down at [where I live] sometime, let me know. I can offer stellar views: we can compare :).
-Sharyn (the tall blonde, pink sarong, [my dad’s] daughter
(if you don’t remember who I am, let’s both just pretend that you never got this, mmkay? :P

The ‘we can compare’ relates to him giving me a tour of his unfinished house when I was there: … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Vanilla man, or no?

I overthink everything. It can get very boring, even to me.

The other day I met a vanilla man who somehow appealed to me. He bought the place next to my dad’s house (over an hour away from me): We had a chat when I visited and I asked for a tour of his as-yet-incomplete house. We had an easy rapport, he was somehow very open with me (he’s recently divorced, talked about his work, was showing off a bit about an article in the newspaper about him). The interaction was nothing special but he’s still on my mind.

A … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Dating: Hope vs Delusion

My American boyfriend*, DualDrew, wrote an interesting piece about personal ads and dating profiles: Hope or Delusion? The Modern Kinky Personal Ad. Go read it.

My comment got too long over there, so I’m posting it here instead.

I’m going to take issue with the opinion Drew floated about hypocrisy and the idea that I have to BE what I want in order to be allowed to want it (i.e. I see no problem with unfit people wanting someone fit, or bald people liking flowing locks, or short people liking someone tall, young people wanting someone older or … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Revisit (or ‘6’3 of pretty, yes please!’)

copyright'cougarling' by Ferns

Remember the cougarling?

6’3 of pretty, I contacted him on Fetlife, he drove 24 hours a couple of times to come and spend time with me… Yes, him.

We’ve kept in sporadic touch over the last two years. Friendly emails on and off (mostly off).

In my last message of note to him, I said this:

“You are most welcome in my lair, in my rope, and in my bed”

It’s rare that I offer anything casual to anyone, but even though our different communication styles meant there was nowhere to take anything longer term, I like him and … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Ain’t no sunshine

Copyright'Dipping sun' by sunshine

Sunshine is dating again. It’s not surprising: Good men don’t sit on the shelf for long.

A very nice (thoughtful, funny, kind etc) vanilla woman with children, she lives close by, he seems to like her quite a bit even if she’s maybe not going to be the (a?) great love of his life. Or maybe she is, who knows with these things.

I’m not sad about it, nor do I have any regrets. He’s a sweetheart and he deserves to be happy. If he can find that with a lovely vanilla woman, then more power to him. It’s an … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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