Personal ad update

I posted my personal ad a while ago.

I’m dying to write about what’s going on in excruciating detail. Itchy fingers!!

But I can’t. Not yet. Ha!

Stupid not-really-anonymous blog.

I WILL say, though, that actually worked okay. By that I mean that the number and quality of respondents that I got there was unexpectedly high. Of course that doesn’t mean they were a match for me, but they certainly weren’t inarticulate one-handed typists spewing idiocy at me. Most had read my profile, were polite and respectful, and I had a relatively pleasant exchange with most of them.

I … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Mutual discovery should be fun

Discovering things about people whose partner-potential you are sussing out should be fun.

If it’s not fun, interesting, challenging, fascinating, exciting, why do it?

Simple, right? And obvious!

Still, I think there are lots of reasons people keep banging away at it *even if it’s no fun*.

I’ve been guilty of that myself at times. Sometimes in my interactions with submissive men where we are feeling each other out, I will convince myself to do a bunch of work instead of just admitting that it’s not clicking for me.


  • Because I genuinely like him. He’s really nice and
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Loves: 11
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How many?

I asked on Twitter: “How many emails do you think I got from my personal advert post?”

Hmmm, said my twitter peeps:

50 million?

I’d ask you to take a guess, but since this isn’t real time, I’ll be waiting a while, so I’ll just tell you:


That’s right.


Are you surprised?

I am.

But then again, I’m not.

There are probably a bunch of reasons for the crickets, and my ego is big enough that I don’t for one second believe that it’s because ‘waaaahhh, nobody likes me’. I *know* that’s not it.

I’ve … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad and vetting responses makes the *most* common denominator the fact that we are both looking for someone. That squicks me. I tend to think that … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Meeting schmeeting

As an experiment in doing things differently and meeting a man without establishing that we had any compatibility first, my recent date really turned out much as expected.

I didn’t feel any real connection in our communications leading up to the lunch, and I didn’t feel any when we met.

I know that for some, surprise face-to-face chemistry can spark a forest fire despite not having very much going on before meeting, but this confirms that it’s really unlikely that that’s going to work for me. I know it’s a completely insignificant sample, but given how much I hate meeting … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Date report – for real this time

So, the date with the 6’5 cutie…

I texted him before I arrived at the restaurant and joked that he should wear a yellow ribbon so that I would recognise him. He fashioned something ribbon-ish out of post-it notes that he had presumably finagled from the wait-staff, and was wearing it tucked into his shirt when I arrived. Cute.

He stood when I approached the table, a half-hug hello, I clocked how big he was (very ‘former international rugby player’ big: wide shoulders, meaty arms) and got to check out how tall he was. He was taller than me in … Continue Reading

Loves: 4
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Date report

The date with the 6’5 cutie was okay, fine… you know *smile*.

[to be cont…]Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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