Romancing the Domme

To me, romance is doing something sweet to show someone that you are thinking of them, something to make them happy, to make them feel special. It’s the little gestures that demonstrate that feeling.

Following on from a really lively Twitter conversation a while back, Mistress Lilyana has written a really interesting post on ‘Romantic shit‘. Go and read it.

In summary, she said that her submissives have, for the most part, not romanced her. She theorises:

“Perhaps there is something about me that repels romantic gestures. Maybe I’m too independent. It’s true. I’ll buy my own damn

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Loves: 14
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My personal ad is an energy sinkhole

I’ve already talked about how I’m an introvert and what that means for me.

Funnily, online interactions don’t sap my energy in the same way that real life ones do. I assume it’s related to the fact that I have total control over them. I get to choose who I interact with, how, when, the duration, and about what. This makes me happy because I get personal, social and community interaction on my terms and that works great for me.

Here’s a strange thing though.

I have found the process of talking to respondents to my personal ad utterly … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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He’s just not that into you

You know what I liked about that movie? It gave us a short, easy phrase to explain this oh-so-simple concept.

And it really *is* simple.

Let me preface this with ‘in my experience’…

Men who are interested in you will move heaven and earth to be with you. They will.

They will be thinking about you as they go about their day, they will make you a priority, they will consider your feelings, they will work to make you happy, they will be clear if they are unavoidably busy for a while, even then they will still make time … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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Personal ad update

I posted my personal ad a while ago.

I’m dying to write about what’s going on in excruciating detail. Itchy fingers!!

But I can’t. Not yet. Ha!

Stupid not-really-anonymous blog.

I WILL say, though, that actually worked okay. By that I mean that the number and quality of respondents that I got there was unexpectedly high. Of course that doesn’t mean they were a match for me, but they certainly weren’t inarticulate one-handed typists spewing idiocy at me. Most had read my profile, were polite and respectful, and I had a relatively pleasant exchange with most of them.

I … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Mutual discovery should be fun

Discovering things about people whose partner-potential you are sussing out should be fun.

If it’s not fun, interesting, challenging, fascinating, exciting, why do it?

Simple, right? And obvious!

Still, I think there are lots of reasons people keep banging away at it *even if it’s no fun*.

I’ve been guilty of that myself at times. Sometimes in my interactions with submissive men where we are feeling each other out, I will convince myself to do a bunch of work instead of just admitting that it’s not clicking for me.


  • Because I genuinely like him. He’s really nice and
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Loves: 11
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How many?

I asked on Twitter: “How many emails do you think I got from my personal advert post?”

Hmmm, said my twitter peeps:

50 million?

I’d ask you to take a guess, but since this isn’t real time, I’ll be waiting a while, so I’ll just tell you:


That’s right.


Are you surprised?

I am.

But then again, I’m not.

There are probably a bunch of reasons for the crickets, and my ego is big enough that I don’t for one second believe that it’s because ‘waaaahhh, nobody likes me’. I *know* that’s not it.

I’ve … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad and vetting responses makes the *most* common denominator the fact that we are both looking for someone. That squicks me. I tend to think that … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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