Mutual discovery should be fun

Discovering things about people whose partner-potential you are sussing out should be fun.

If it’s not fun, interesting, challenging, fascinating, exciting, why do it?

Simple, right? And obvious!

Still, I think there are lots of reasons people keep banging away at it *even if it’s no fun*.

I’ve been guilty of that myself at times. Sometimes in my interactions with submissive men where we are feeling each other out, I will convince myself to do a bunch of work instead of just admitting that it’s not clicking for me.


  • Because I genuinely like him. He’s really nice and
Continue Reading “Mutual discovery should be fun”
Loves: 11
Please wait...
Read More

How many?

I asked on Twitter: “How many emails do you think I got from my personal advert post?”

Hmmm, said my twitter peeps:

50 million?

I’d ask you to take a guess, but since this isn’t real time, I’ll be waiting a while, so I’ll just tell you:


That’s right.


Are you surprised?

I am.

But then again, I’m not.

There are probably a bunch of reasons for the crickets, and my ego is big enough that I don’t for one second believe that it’s because ‘waaaahhh, nobody likes me’. I *know* that’s not it.

I’ve … Continue Reading “How many?”

Loves: 5
Please wait...
Read More

Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad and vetting responses makes the *most* common denominator the fact that we are both looking for someone. That squicks me. I tend to think that … Continue Reading “Personal advert”

Loves: 17
Please wait...
Read More

Meeting schmeeting

As an experiment in doing things differently and meeting a man without establishing that we had any compatibility first, my recent date really turned out much as expected.

I didn’t feel any real connection in our communications leading up to the lunch, and I didn’t feel any when we met.

I know that for some, surprise face-to-face chemistry can spark a forest fire despite not having very much going on before meeting, but this confirms that it’s really unlikely that that’s going to work for me. I know it’s a completely insignificant sample, but given how much I hate meeting … Continue Reading “Meeting schmeeting”

Loves: 6
Please wait...
Read More

Date report – for real this time

So, the date with the 6’5 cutie…

I texted him before I arrived at the restaurant and joked that he should wear a yellow ribbon so that I would recognise him. He fashioned something ribbon-ish out of post-it notes that he had presumably finagled from the wait-staff, and was wearing it tucked into his shirt when I arrived. Cute.

He stood when I approached the table, a half-hug hello, I clocked how big he was (very ‘former international rugby player’ big: wide shoulders, meaty arms) and got to check out how tall he was. He was taller than me in … Continue Reading “Date report – for real this time”

Loves: 4
Please wait...
Read More

Date report

The date with the 6’5 cutie was okay, fine… you know *smile*.

[to be cont…]Continue Reading “Date report”

Loves: 7
Please wait...

Why sex blogging is bad for my love life

Prior to my blog existing, I had 100% success rate with meeting submissive men and having the meeting lead to a relationship. Since having the blog, becoming single, and with the blog linked from my profiles everywhere, my success rate is down to zero (keep in mind that I meet *very* few men, I really only meet those who I believe have real potential). Essentially, since having the blog, my ‘foolproof’ method is no longer working.

I mentioned in yesterday’s post that my blog was cock blocking me (though ‘cock blocking’ is not quite the right word here…). I’ve written … Continue Reading “Why sex blogging is bad for my love life”

Loves: 11
Please wait...
Read More