Are you on Collarspace? Read this

I’ve been chicken-littling over collarspace.com for a while now.

I know a lot of people hate the site, but I’ve met lovely submissive men there (I found sunshine on collarspace), and it’s still the biggest BDSM dating site despite all of its faults. And make no mistake, when it comes to dating, size matters :P.

I think it’s in trouble.

It has always suffered from some level of flakiness and ‘not-being-properly-maintain’edness, but there are red flags a-plenty pointing to its imminent demise at the moment.

1. The forum side (collarchat.com) was removed some months ago without warning
2. The chatrooms … [...Read More]

Loves: 7
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Dating: Hope vs Delusion

My American boyfriend*, DualDrew, wrote an interesting piece about personal ads and dating profiles: Hope or Delusion? The Modern Kinky Personal Ad. Go read it.

My comment got too long over there, so I’m posting it here instead.

I’m going to take issue with the opinion Drew floated about hypocrisy and the idea that I have to BE what I want in order to be allowed to want it (i.e. I see no problem with unfit people wanting someone fit, or bald people liking flowing locks, or short people liking someone tall, young people wanting someone older or … [...Read More]

Loves: 12
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Revisit (or ‘6’3 of pretty, yes please!’)

copyright'cougarling' by Ferns

Remember the cougarling?

6’3 of pretty, I contacted him on Fetlife, he drove 24 hours a couple of times to come and spend time with me… Yes, him.

We’ve kept in sporadic touch over the last two years. Friendly emails on and off (mostly off).

In my last message of note to him, I said this:

“You are most welcome in my lair, in my rope, and in my bed”

It’s rare that I offer anything casual to anyone, but even though our different communication styles meant there was nowhere to take anything longer term, I like him and … [...Read More]

Loves: 15
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Ain’t no sunshine

Copyright'Dipping sun' by sunshine

Sunshine is dating again. It’s not surprising: Good men don’t sit on the shelf for long.

A very nice (thoughtful, funny, kind etc) vanilla woman with children, she lives close by, he seems to like her quite a bit even if she’s maybe not going to be the (a?) great love of his life. Or maybe she is, who knows with these things.

I’m not sad about it, nor do I have any regrets. He’s a sweetheart and he deserves to be happy. If he can find that with a lovely vanilla woman, then more power to him. It’s an … [...Read More]

Loves: 8
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Sweet Sunshine

Sunshine on the floor at my feet

He picks me up from the airport, then there’s a train trip, then a drive.

When we get to his house, he shows me to my bedroom.

It’s the master.

He will take a smaller bedroom while I am here.

“I want you to be comfortable.” he says as he puts my bag down.

The room is pristine, as is the ensuite.

I thank him.

We are in the kitchen.

He is making a favourite childhood snack of mine: Rempeyek.

I had asked my dad to make it for me for Christmas.

“No,” he’d said, “Too hard.”

I’d … [...Read More]

Loves: 29
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Hot Sunshine

Sunshiny hog tie

Four days with Sunshine over New Year’s.

Hot moments, snippets, memories.

I text him from bed, “Brush your teeth and come here.”

“Yes, Ma’am :)”

Play, with rope. Not explicitly sexual, intimate. Different ties, those ones I have no skill in. Close and slow and following instructions.

Feeling how his body is built, how it bends, where it resists, pushing against it.

A hog-tie where I could pull a rope and rock him, chest to knees.

Soft moans when I forced something tight, constricting his body against itself.

Wetness, his boxers, probably on the floor also.

Because yes.… [...Read More]

Loves: 38
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After the sunshine

Sunshine being a beautiful thing in my cuffs

Hello sunshine,

I wanted to drop you a longer note to say thank you for such a great visit.

You are such a lovely thing and it is rare for me that I didn’t feel like I had to hide in my cave to recover from spending time with someone.

I know how hard you worked to make sure that I was happy and comfortable and I see it and I really appreciate that.

Your company was fun, your hosting was immaculate, your cooking was great, and the rempeyek was such a special treat.

I love the way you take … [...Read More]

Loves: 25
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