The vanilla man bailed.
I’m not really surprised, but I AM disappointed.
He has legitimate reasons that I don’t doubt are true (he expanded a bit on serious family issues that he mentioned earlier), but really: If you’re in the middle of some emotional upheaval, maybe, you know, don’t say ‘yes’ in the first place. I’d guess that he didn’t quite realise the mess he was in until he tried to add something else on top, and then he realised later that he didn’t have emotional/mental energy for it/me.
In taking stock, I’m not invested so it’s no big deal … [...Read More]
The vanilla man is not proactively showing interest. I vaguely wonder if that’s a vanilla/submissive divide. But honestly, it doesn’t matter much.
I felt it on the weekend after we didn’t have the date. His communication about possibly not being able to make it was good, so that was fine. But when the get-together was clearly not going to happen (and didn’t happen), we both dropped communication.
While that would have been fine if we had an alternative time lined up, we didn’t have anything else lined up. I hate texting, so don’t do any ‘just because’ chatty exchanges with … [...Read More]
After a lot of sage advice in my comments and on twitter, I did indeed invite the vanilla man to come and have a drink with me.
Hi vanilla man: If you’re interested in a drink down at [where I live] sometime, let me know. I can offer stellar views: we can compare :).
-Sharyn (the tall blonde, pink sarong, [my dad’s] daughter
(if you don’t remember who I am, let’s both just pretend that you never got this, mmkay? :P
The ‘we can compare’ relates to him giving me a tour of his unfinished house when I was there: … [...Read More]
I overthink everything. It can get very boring, even to me.
The other day I met a vanilla man who somehow appealed to me. He bought the place next to my dad’s house (over an hour away from me): We had a chat when I visited and I asked for a tour of his as-yet-incomplete house. We had an easy rapport, he was somehow very open with me (he’s recently divorced, talked about his work, was showing off a bit about an article in the newspaper about him). The interaction was nothing special but he’s still on my mind.
A … [...Read More]
I’ve been chicken-littling over collarspace.com for a while now.
I know a lot of people hate the site, but I’ve met lovely submissive men there (I found sunshine on collarspace), and it’s still the biggest BDSM dating site despite all of its faults. And make no mistake, when it comes to dating, size matters :P.
I think it’s in trouble.
It has always suffered from some level of flakiness and ‘not-being-properly-maintain’edness, but there are red flags a-plenty pointing to its imminent demise at the moment.
1. The forum side (collarchat.com) was removed some months ago without warning
2. The chatrooms … [...Read More]
My American boyfriend*, DualDrew, wrote an interesting piece about personal ads and dating profiles: Hope or Delusion? The Modern Kinky Personal Ad. Go read it.
My comment got too long over there, so I’m posting it here instead.
I’m going to take issue with the opinion Drew floated about hypocrisy and the idea that I have to BE what I want in order to be allowed to want it (i.e. I see no problem with unfit people wanting someone fit, or bald people liking flowing locks, or short people liking someone tall, young people wanting someone older or … [...Read More]
Remember the cougarling?
6’3 of pretty, I contacted him on Fetlife, he drove 24 hours a couple of times to come and spend time with me… Yes, him.
We’ve kept in sporadic touch over the last two years. Friendly emails on and off (mostly off).
In my last message of note to him, I said this:
“You are most welcome in my lair, in my rope, and in my bed”
It’s rare that I offer anything casual to anyone, but even though our different communication styles meant there was nowhere to take anything longer term, I like him and … [...Read More]