So you got contacted by an uber hottie… whoo hoo!! She’s from your home town and she is super keen on you and thinks you are special… that’s so awesome!! She wants to claim you as her slave… yesss!!! You’ve been talking for a couple of weeks… it’s going great! She seems to be moving really fast, but ok, that’s fine… good even! And she hasn’t asked you for money so SHUT UP FERNS!!
There are femdom scammers who will invest in you if they are after more than the few dollars they can get from having you join some BDSM website or from sending a measly little ‘tribute’ to show your sincerity. If they are after a few hundred dollars, they will court you for 2, 3, even 4 weeks. Then at *that* point, they will ask for money. It’s not presented as a tribute… noooo no no… It can be a convincing story and it’s designed to play on those emotions you have built up during those weeks of perfectly wonderful, and possibly hot, chats.
Some stories that these scammers tell:
“I’m travelling for work and I’m stuck in a hotel in [some other country], and my credit cards are not working! They are going to arrest me! Can you please send me $600 to cover the bill and I will pay you back as soon as I get home!?”
“I have sent you the contract, now you must pay me $250 for the associated legal fees… not for me, for my legal adviser…”
“I am in [some other country] and I was robbed! They took everything. I have been to the embassy and they say I need $495 to get a new passport. I really hope you can help me out so that I can get home to you!”
If you baulk, your sincerity will be questioned, all the promises made will be raised, and the “I’m the Mistress” card will come out. You can expect shock and guilt tactics to make you feel so bad that you start to think it could be true. It’s not.
So, I have a tip:
DON’T SEND MONEY TO PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW!!
I know it seems so obvious, but I also know that some of these scammers are skilled manipulators, very good at sowing the seeds of doubt, of hitting buttons. They are not flailing away with sledgehammers like deranged monkeys, it is much more subtle than that, and I know that smart men will argue that they *do* know and trust these women, that *this* is not a case like that, *this* is something different. Only, it’s not.
I have another tip… shhh… come close now… they mustn’t hear…
CHECK THEIR PHOTOS!
2021 addition: This used to be a pretty useful check, but now there are a million morphing apps that allow scammers to create their own original images of Hottie McHotFace so the value of it has decreased dramatically. It’s still worth doing because not-smart scammers are still a thing, but it’s no longer the reliable check that it once was.
It’s not foolproof, but you can check if that picture of that fabulous hottie is really a Versace model using Google image search (you can use tineye.com* also, but I get *many* more hits with Google reverse image search).
How do I do that, Ferns?
Well, I’m glad you asked me that…
- Go to Google – Image Search
- In another browser tab, get the hottie picture on screen (if it’s a Fetlife picture, use the thumbnail, not the main picture, which doesn’t work), or if you have it saved, locate the folder
- Drag the image into the search box on Google image search *
If the photo turns up on Facebook, maybe that’s really them. If it turns up under one name on Facebook, under different name and location on Google+, it could still be them. If it turns up on both of those plus scammerlist.com and on ten Russian porn sites, then chances are… it’s not them.
* Both Chrome and Firefox have extensions for Google image search and tineye.com so you can just right click on the photo and run the search… very useful!