All ‘femdom relationships’ category posts

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

This story has a happy ending, but along the way it’s a difficult story that illustrates how hard it can be for young submissive men who feel disenfranchised, confused, and lost with their sexuality and relationships, and how challenging it can be to deal with that on top of whatever else they have going on in their lives.

Thank you for sharing your story, Jake, and I hope there is a lot more happiness to come for you.

Author: Jake

Part I

So, uh, to preface this, I figure an introduction is needed. I’m Jake. I’m 20, submissive-ish (I guess I switch a bit). I also begrudgingly admit I’m service oriented (G-d, I really hate that term, ‘service’. I service my vehicles, my firearms, my scuba reg, not women).

So, I sorta discovered I was submissive when I was 16 or so, with the internet porn, full of snivelling worm and cruel ice bitch queen dommes clad in rubber and PVC and latex. It was pretty hot. I was a teen, it was porn, and how, and I thought it was reality.

I became a fetishist, because, what other examples did I have? I was at least a bottom, but wasn’t a twue submissive. I was heavy into rubber/latex and all that stuff; I was (and still am) masochistic.

So, then came along high school, and the awkward clusterfuck that that was. I kept trying to date people but would be shot down like Gary Powers. So, I got a date with a wonderfully sweet girl in my class, who evidently liked me a fair bit. It was a *really* nice date, even was able to borrow my dad’s nice car, but it just went all wrong. We both were trying to get the other to lead, personalities just didn’t mesh in the least. So, after this happening a few times, I realized that ‘normal’ dating wasn’t for me, because, what’s the point if it’s just not going to work?

I started to feel broken and strange and unlovable. I knew I wasn’t able to date ‘normal’ people, but it seemed like ‘non-normal’ people were entirely impossible to find. What really didn’t help this was all my friends joking that I was forever alone, or just had to wait for girls to get older, or just to go to Taverna Opa (a local bar where the MILF’s flock to). Yeah, so, I bounced between feeling completely unlovable to ‘fuck women, I’ve got hobby money’. I mean, my friends even joked that the first girl I ever date, I should just marry, because I’d never find another person who could put up with me.

Hell, I even got ‘the talk’ from my mom, lol. I was informed I was gay, much to my chagrin. I got told “Honey, it’s okay if you’re gay, we’ll support you.”

I go, “But, I’m not gay… I like women.”

I was told, “Sure, but we’ll support you anyway.”

*facepalm!* I understand the gesture though, lol.

Part II…

|| Read more

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posted by on femdom relationships, musing

There is a line between defensiveness and trust that oddly often feels ugly to me.

I don’t expect a stranger to trust me. That’s ludicrous. But I expect a potential partner to come to me with an open heart and willingness to speak to me without the expectation that I want to do him harm in some way.

I have spoken to some men who are constantly defensive about me ‘taking too much’ or ‘crossing their boundaries’ from the very beginning, suspiciously weighing every exchange, every request, every conversation and seemingly looking for some way that I am trying to fuck them over. They build walls from the very beginning and in it is an unspoken demand that I capitulate over and over to ‘prove’ that I’m not going to be one of ‘those Dommes’.

In that kind of attitude, he is always measuring the ‘cost’ of things, or the ‘fairness’ (whatever that means to him) of it, and he is likely to then balk at stuff because it’s ‘gone too far’ and now he doesn’t like it any more.

It’s hard to explain, but to me, this leads to an idea of submission that comes across as hugely conditional, not in the sense of limits, but in the sense that he will bring me a glass of water any time I want, but if I ask him 6 times, on the 7th, he will go “Hey, this isn’t fair! You are totally taking the piss!!” or “Okay, but then I get *this* in return because now I feel taken advantage of.”

When I feel that suspicion, that need to protect himself from me before we have even started, I pretty much know that I am never going to be able to get what I want from him. That might be unfair because there could be a million and one reasons that he is like that and maybe he will ‘get over it’ with time, or with me, but if he is a mature, grown up man, I don’t think that he *will* get over it. I think he is displaying a pretty fundamental part of who he is, and my ego isn’t big enough to believe that he will ‘change for me’.

The men I like are the exact opposite. They come into conversations with curiosity, interest, openness. If anything, they are perhaps too open because I am drawn to that potential for vulnerability. Their level of trust is generally appropriate for where we are in the process. And when we hit a point where it seems promising, they tend towards seeking out things that they can do for me, they lean heavily into “Here take it, take it, please, please!” and I’m the one going “Woah, hold on.” They trust me not to be looking for ways to harm them, and later, they will trust me to draw the lines for us.

It’s a little tricky because of course everyone has defensive walls, it is sensible to have them. I think the line is crossed for me when they are suspicious that *I* (me personally) am trying to find a way to do them harm when we are speaking as potential partners instead of coming into the dialogue relatively neutral. Dealing with it makes me exhausted, and there’s no way in hell that it’s going to be something that I am willing to bring into a relationship.

30 comments

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

This is a really sweet story from a young submissive who I contacted because I admired one of his photos (see right) on Fetlife. Leather and steel cuffs

When I set up this new template, I asked him for permission to use it. He very kindly said yes, and you can see it cycle through as one of the photos that I show in my header.

I’m delighted that he has shared his story, which reads a little bit like a dramatic romantic comedy with a happy ending. I love the happy endings.

Author: Gabriel

Honestly, this is a fairly complicated story so I don’t know quite exactly where to begin. I was abused my whole life, luckily between everything that was going on I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal. Thankfully, I found you Ferns (and your blog!) through fetlife of course; I was trying to find rope classes on line and came across the website. I was finally accepting the fact that I was kinky, well I knew I was but it was really starting to develop and I knew a lot more about what I liked and what I wanted.

Rewind a few years, I was in my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class through the College I was attending, I had been doing this for a few years at this point so I knew almost everyone who was taking it again and we had a lot of new people. That was when she walked through the doors. I don’t believe in love at first sight but if there was such a thing this was it. She was beautiful and I will never forget her smile or her eyes. I am a very shy person but for some reason, and I had never done this in my life, I went over and talked to her. I couldn’t let this one get away, however, she did, a few classes went by and she dropped the class before I ever had a chance to even ask if she wanted to get to know each other.

I dropped the ball but never really forgot her, one day while I was in the gym she was there. Now being the gentleman I am I don’t talk to women in the gym, they generally have a hard enough time as it is so I try not to make things awkward. Luckily, she talked to me!! We went out on a few dates, I was head over heels for her, and I was embarrassed because I thought for sure she could tell. Well circumstances were not that great, a little after 2 months of dating my phone broke and we were both very sick. I replaced my phone but never heard from her. A few weeks later we ran into each other, I explained what had happened and asked her to text me so I could have her number. I never got that text, sadly enough.

We saw each other off and on but she was with someone who I thought was a boyfriend so I didn’t want to make a scene and she saw me training with a female friend that wanted my help, so she didn’t want to cause any problems either. It’s amazing where assumptions will lead you. That summer she graduated and it was sad for me, I never thought I would see her again.

October came and I was working out late in the evening, there she was again. Apparently, despite my best efforts she saw that I was … overly excited to see her. She text me again since she still had my number and luckily this time I actually got it. We saw each other for a few weeks and life took a sharp turn downward for me. I was rock bottom, but there she was, she picked me up and put me back together. We got to talking about kinks and I explained the basics of mine (I love rope!!) funny enough for some reason she was interested in rope too and after we dated that first time any time she thought about tying someone up I somehow came up. Well I hadn’t slept for about a week at this point and she was sweet enough to make me a doctor’s appointment and drag me to it, they gave me a sleeping pills and I stayed with her that night. After I took it however, and I don’t remember this at all, but I apparently confessed my love over and over after everything she said until she acknowledged she heard me, she blew it off as me being tired so I was saved. About a week went by and we made it official, we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Funny enough a few days later, she took the sleeping pills she was prescribed (same type I was prescribed as well) and after some talking she too professed her love for me. Unfortunately, she was worried that the next morning she wouldn’t feel the same way, I explained I had been in love with her for a long time, I could wait if she wasn’t. The next morning the first words out of her mouth were that she loved me. She really did!! After a few days I let her in on another kink of mine that I was afraid to share with most but now am fairly open about. I wanted a Mommy, 24/7 she said that she would have to think about it and didn’t want to make that kind of commitment lightly. I respected her decision and life went on.

A week or so went by and I was telling her a story, I guess I said something that really made her happy because she blurted out ‘Can I be your Mommy?’ My heart skipped a beat and I cried I was so happy, we cuddled and talked for a while about what we both wanted from it. Funny enough, she did everything I had wanted and much more so, she was relieved that she didn’t need to change ‘too much’.

Five months later and neither of us have never been happier, we are living together, play fairly regularly, and my days usually start off with making Mommy breakfast in bed, a foot rub if there is time, and helping her get ready for whatever she needs to do. She gives me all the love and warmth I want and we have really grown as a couple in the dynamic she never even knew she wanted. I owe a lot of where I am at to her, if it wasn’t for her I would’ve never even guessed my childhood wasn’t normal. She helped me see that it wasn’t and now I get to redo a lot of it with her. I couldn’t ask for a better Mommy and my heart still skips a beat when she calls me her good boy or when we cuddle up to go to sleep and the last words out of my mouth are, ‘I love you Mommy’. I guess third time was the charm and how lucky am I, after all of that I finally get the woman I fell in love with years ago! I guess I knew my Mommy when I saw her.

___

This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns AT domme-chronicles DOT com).

3 comments

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

I’m delighted to have another happy femdom story to share! Yay!!

Amusoman emailed me out of the blue a looong time ago for a chat, and I recall getting quite stern with him about his lazy language and over-use of emoticons. I do believe he thought I was quite the bossy bitch (I know, hard to believe isn’t it?) and I’m happy to note that neither of those traits are in evidence in the lovely story he has shared here. He is one of the lucky ones who has managed to introduce his wife of many years to D/s. Enjoy!

Author: amusoman

My Happy Journey into a Female Led Relationship

i had sexual intercourse with my Wife five times last weekend. While that is in no way a record; it is quite astonishing considering we are both in our fifties and have been married for over 30 years and have 3 teenage kids! Perhaps now i have your attention?

Four years ago our story was quite different. Our marriage was not in a terminal condition but was stale. i actually craved the time apart from my Wife more than the time spent being with her. My Wife nagged and complained about so many things that i felt it was just best to avoid her. Then she became seriously ill and the “til DEATH do us part” marriage vow, became a frightening reality. To cut a long story short i added two elements to our relationship. Number one was the concept “That She was always right”! (even, when her illness drove her to great depths of irrationality).

i quickly discovered that agreeing with her was always was so much better than arguing with her. And usually, by herself, her views would become more rational again anyway…without me having to “correct” her. Secondly, as i had to feed her, cook, clean and generally look after her i decided to make it a romantic game. i was her butler, servant, knight, lover, defender, protector, doctor, romancer, slave! And it worked! This was a far more satisfactory construct than the reality of very sick Wife and put upon husband.

Surprisingly, even though she was desperately ill, our marriage was thriving! Not surprisingly, once she got better, my Wife did not want to go back to the way things were. She wanted to stay as Queen, Goddess, Boss of our relationship and she wanted me to stay the devoted “slave boy” that she now called me!! Not surprisingly, i also wanted to keep both our marriage and my deep devotion to my Wife going too. It was time to do some research into this crazy Female Led Relationship dynamic we had created.

The internet is a wonderful thing! Your journey into it often starts quite vanilla and straight forward but quickly your search can become wilder than you ever imagined by taking the side paths that spring up. i discovered many others had explored Female Led Relationships and had written very convincingly of why they should become the norm for all relationships between men and Women. Very quickly, i discovered the power of chastity and orgasm control as a means of deepening loving submission.

You have probably realised that with my Wife being sick that our sex life suffered. It certainly did at first and pretty quickly i discovered i was getting very horny even though things were so serious in terms of my Wife’s health. What was a wonderful discovery was that i was also crazily deriving great sexual pleasure from serving my Goddess while expecting nothing in return in terms of sexual favours. So our new relationship dynamic had orgasm control and chastity built into it! So when i came across the terms in my own research, I already knew what they were talking about! But possibly even more pleasantly shocking was that my Wife even though ill was so enjoying my chivalrous service that her own sexual needs came back and we began to make love again….and again….and again!

So after she got well, i was keen to keep chastity and orgasm control as part of our continuing Female Led Relationship. However, i was very aware of the fact that my Wife was even straighter than i was in terms of sex. i did have to work slowly and cautiously (or at least I thought i had too..Maybe I didn’t have too? I will never know!!). We talked about how much better our marriage was now and we both agreed we did not want to go back to how we were. i likened it (like many texts do) to our courting time. A time in which i was so much more attentive of her needs, was so sexually hungry for her and so in love too that i would literally do anything for her for just a kiss! She too remembered those times with great fondness. So having reminded her of the benefits of having that courtship style hunger driven romance back in our marriage it was easy to explain to her that our earlier happiness was due to the fact that she was largely in charge of my sex life and that she unwittingly doled out sex and affection as a reward then and was now doing it again. She saw the sense in this and she loved the fact that i wanted to formally hand over control of my orgasms to her and that “Sex was for Goddess’pleasure” and that i “would find it impossible to cum without her permission to do so”.

My Wife absolutely loved it and the effects it had on me. She loved making me moan and cry and beg for sex and relief and that I would promise to do anything for it. She quickly learned to love exploiting that power and yes i found myself obediently (and happily) taking over the washing, cooking and most of the cleaning.

Of course i quickly discovered chastity devices on the net and bought one. i had it for many weeks before i showed my Wife. She again loved it and actually became the new driver of our journey into chastity play (well okay sometimes i had to hint about directions and times to use it). She loved locking me up if i was out without her. She loved locking me up when she was out or when she wanted special things done or wanted extra attentions. i was going up to 3 months without release other than leaking and “spoiled orgasms” (by choice) which she found annoying but acceptable. Masturbation was out of the question because she just seemed to know if i did and there was hell to pay.

So at this point, we have both acknowledged that i am her “slave boy” and that she is my “Goddess.” That i “must obey, serve and cherish her” that her “decisions are final” and that i will wear a cock cage or panties whenever she sees fit. I sleep in a “slave bed” when she instructs me too and she canes me when i have displeased her. (Which incidentally, is usually followed by massive screaming orgasms for her?) My “straight” Wife has gone along with our deepening Female Led Relationship and has sometimes been the driver of that deepening. Our marriage is stronger than ever and i deeply love my Wife and she loves me too!

Oh and did i mention the huge amount of sex we have?

___

This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns AT domme-chronicles DOT com).

10 comments

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

Another happy femdom story *happy dance*!

Miss Eden (a.k.a Phoray) is one of those young women who looks at her own life and circumstances, methodically works out who she is and what she wants, and then goes for it. She is one of the twenty-somethings that many of us who are older wish we had been. Enjoy!

Author: Miss Eden

Before coming into my own dominance, I dated vanilla from 16 to 23. As soon as my last vanilla relationship became official, the boy in question entered a depression that led to laziness and apathy concerning me. Despite that, I was deeply dedicated to the boy he had been before the depression. After 18 months, I finally realized, at least for me, that that boy would never return; and it ended.

With a torn heart, I took my first step forward into a life where I went after what I wanted, not just needed, no excuses. A chance encounter online brought me to Fetlife. At first, I was very unsure about what I was into. Thought I was submissive. I was contacted by a dominant male and went on a date during a weekend trip; he was nice but the feeling wasn’t right. Upon my return from the trip, I enjoyed a brief two weeks with a lover of my acquaintance; a bittersweet rebound, as he was very endearing, but so not what I was looking for.

I thought very hard during all this; evaluating my experiences as they came. Vanilla didn’t work. I didn’t click with the dominant male. My fantasies were running rampant and all over the spectrum of power. I met up with a two gents nearby, both being kinksters with no claims to power play. I started finally framing up what I wanted from all the details of what I didn’t want. What I knew for sure, however, was that I’d rather be alone for the rest of life, lonely and sad to tears about lack of a proper partner, than have an improper partner; four years of those was enough. I was resolute. I would not lower my expectations and waste even more of my time. After roughly four weeks of this and that, reading, studying, and feeling out what it would be to be a “submissive female,” wondering all the while if I were a switch, I decided my next assignment to myself would be to research what it would be like to be a “dominant female.”

What I decided to start off with, however, were images of the submissive male. I was also very particular about a body type I’d always enjoyed. If I were going to look at images of submissive males, it would be even better to find ones I was attracted to. My Google searches found very little, and so I took it upon myself to start a thread, looking for a “word that would describe the boyish look I like in men, without finding pedo pictures.” There was this male that replied, in possession of a well written profile and towards the end of it was a body description that sounded very much like the body structure I was trying to find a term for. I sent him a message; a few messages later, he shared that I made him nervous in a good way. He told me I was pretty. Eventually, we exchanged numbers. We texted quite a lot, first, before moving forward to a phone call. He had the same amount of experience with submission that I had with dominance, less in some ways, more in others, and had only joined up with Fetlife within mere weeks of the same time I had.

He lived in Kentucky, I in Kansas. I’d had experience in long distance dating before so I wasn’t averse to the distance, and he didn’t seem to mind either. We chatted about possible options for meeting in person at a later date. We enjoyed our discussions, we enjoyed the online d/s play, we had near 24/7 connection. Even with that much attention to each other, however, it was nearly a month of that hot interaction that a mild affectionate amusement started turning into something that felt very much akin to love. He bought me a Christmas present even on his limited funds and mailed his “application” and a copy of a signed contract for his submission.

On the spur of the moment, I asked him to make a trip out to me. After some discussion of details, he accepted. I purchased a bus ticket, he gave all the important safety information to his in-the-know family, and he came out to my house for a two week trial. It obviously went well; we haven’t separated since and it’s been a year since he first came to me.

During most of the beginning interactions, I was quite harsh and cool to my little darling for even the slightest of what I deemed an infraction. I was even talking to others at the same time I was making my boy jump through hoops. It was because he still remained, very dedicated, even after harsh interaction and coolness and heavy erotic whimsy that I fell for him. After my boy came to me, a conversation was had that made me know that I was not only accepted, but loved for the way I was. I’ve said those words about the boys I had been with before, but it was a fantasy on my part. Before, I had been tolerated and accepted and loved in spite of my personality. I asked, probably with self doubt eating away at me, if my blunt and rude honesty was a problem for him.

Backtracking a bit, my boy has Aspergers; his entire life, he was never sure if people meant what they said, because social niceties were always seen to. For example, he didn’t know if he was boring people or if they were just being polite. For once, and now for the rest of our forever, he didn’t have to wonder. With tears in his eyes, he thanked me for being exactly the way everyone else didn’t like me to be. That conversation is what makes our relationship as concrete as it is. Replaying the memory in my mind, tears come; I was so deeply touched then, and still am.

S/M doesn’t factor heavily in our relationship. The sharp D/s overtones we began with have softened, especially now that we have roommates. The fire is not lost, however, and the love is as strong as ever. We recently resigned our contract, a small personal ceremony in my bedroom. Tears were threatening to fall as our happiness enshrouded us.

There is the expectation that direct orders will never be questioned, but I rarely make them. That I lead is quite obvious if anyone took a close look; I cut his hair, order his food, drive the car, and control the budget. We argue, but a compromise, favoring me quite heavily, is always reached. ^_~ We complement each other. Our D/s relationship is when I hold him in my arms, his body nestled against me, and I say, “mine,” and he immediately responds, “yours.”

___

This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns at domme-chronicles dot com).

3 comments

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

We haven’t had a happy femdom story for a while, so I was really excited when this one arrived in my inbox.

Youthful exploration and happiness, plus some really wonderful feedback for me on how my blog helped a little (I can’t tell you how delighted I am about that!). I don’t know that it can get any sweeter than this…

Author: Aaron

I wanted to say thank you for putting yourself out there. I suppose I should have sent this to you when you were asking for happy femdom stories but I didn’t. So I’m doing it now partly because of the extra pressure the blog must have put on you recently. I’m thanking you for writing about what you do and being positive about it, because it’s meant a lot to me.

I suppose I started reading your blog when I was 18… oh gawd that was a long time ago. I bet I discovered it by googling “femdom blog” because that’s how high school me rolled. At that time I didn’t really understand my feelings and I felt a lot of shame. I found myself attracted to things that made me feel very confused, especially after my lust had worn off. Of course this kind of thing in porn ranges from painfully awkward to squicky- for the most part. I bashed myself for having these thoughts and I interpreted as some sexualized manifestation of self-hatred. I told myself I’d stop looking for it, stop fantasying about it, and stop reading your blog after some scary bits about pee buckets.

But I came back to it, again and again. I came back to your blog again as well, reading it off and on. I still disregarded my feelings toward d/s as a phase or something like it. It wasn’t until this past summer when I met my girlfriend that I started to accept my sexuality. Katherine was wonderful, confident, empathetic, and sex-positive and it all made talking with her so easy. We met and she asked me if I’d like to talk with her some more later and before I knew it we were dating and I was telling her everything. And then one night I let my guard down and linked her to your blog.

I expected her to be appalled or something. I guess I didn’t know her very well then. She smiled and we talked about it and it felt so right. As we talked together it became clear that it was something that she was looking for too, just that it would be a while before she did anything like that with me. So we continued dating, hanging out, sharing with each other, and every so often talking about d/s. Time passed and I became impatient because despite our conversations our sex life was very vanilla. I asked her if she only talked about d/s with me because I had an interest in it. She was hurt by that. Katherine told me that she had been reading about domming and she felt an immense amount of pressure to get it right, to take care of me properly, to not lose control. We talked for hours that night about what we wanted from our relationship and we ended in a pretty good place.

The next night we played for the first time. It was cute and we both ended up laughing but we kept on going and having fun. As we went on we started to get more intense and maybe it started to go too fast. I ended up having a relapse of guilt over d/s and I worried about it constantly. I thought it made me less of a man, less of an independent person. Thank god Katie has some sense in her and supported me through it. She was so wonderful and after many long conversations I was starting to come over. I guess I had this idea that what we were doing was just part of my phase that I could walk away from, and I was scared that this was who I was. But thanks to her I started to feel comfortable about being a submissive male. I knew what I wanted and I wanted to be hers.

We started off slow again and it was amazing. Of course we have had rough patches. Two novices learning d/s from each other are going to run into some problems. I learned a lot in the months that followed about what I needed to do in order to make d/s work: I need to trust that Katherine knows what’s best for both us sexually. She absolutely decides when play happens. Her desires absolutely come first. Saying ‘no’ is not something that can be done casually in d/s and has ramifications to the dynamic.

We both are still learning how to be good partners, but it’s so exciting to explore it together. And here I am now, writing to you with the dirty words still visible on my chest, written in sharpie two nights ago. I love her to pieces and I’m so happy I’m hers. And to I have to thank you, Ferns, for being a positive resource out there for me to find and share.

So thank you for writing about sex and relationships and d/s and all that stuff. Thank you for being a kinky role model to us. And we still read your blog too, especially when Katie has me read to her until she falls asleep. She’s super cute when she’s dommy and sleepy.

___

This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns at domme-chronicles dot com).

4 comments

posted by on femdom relationships, happy femdom

I cannot tell you how lovely it is for me when one of these stories lands in my inbox *happy sigh*. This one is incredibly sweet. Thank you Beta Five, and Miss Elisabeth, for sharing it. Enjoy!

Author: Beta Five

About two years ago, I discovered that I had an interest in BDSM. I had talked about the subject with an old friend from my hometown who is a pro Domme, and she suggested that I get connected to the local kink community and learn to become a Dom. I had no idea how to do that– or even if there WAS a local kink scene—so the idea got shelved. I thought about it a LOT, but without resources, there was nothing to do.

About five or six months later, I was at a Pagan festival, talking to an old friend who, I discovered, was also into BDSM. That’s when this Elisabeth joined the conversation, as BDSM was also of interest to her. After the conversation ran on for a few minutes, I discovered that she was from my area, and so I told her of my situation, and asked if she could help me connect to the local scene.

Now mind you, Elisabeth, at the time, was a 21-year-old redhead stripper. She was (and still is) absolutely beautiful—the kind of woman that skeezy men approach all the time. I am sixteen years older than she is, overweight, and autistic (read: socially awkward). She did not know what to expect, and to be blunt, if I was safe. She also took one look and me and saw that I am not a Dominant. (I am in fact a switch, but with a strong submissive leaning that I was not aware of.)

I was polite and respectful, so she decided to take a chance, and gave me her phone number for texting purposes. Over the next month or two, we talked. And talked. And talked. We talked about me, BDSM, sex and sexuality… and gradually a friendship formed. She was very careful not to give me the wrong impression—there is never going to be a sexual or romantic element to our relationship. And she did NOT tell me that I was not a Dom. She walked me around the subject carefully a few times until I figured out that I should probably experience the sub side first. And it wasn’t long after I figured it out that she invited me to her club, and put me on the cross for the first time.

I was prepared for pain. What I was not prepared for was subspace. I didn’t even know it existed. But gradually I fell into that trance, and the only things I knew were the points of impact and the place where her other hand was resting on my skin. I do not know how long it lasted; it was just a moment frozen in time. I don’t remember afterwards. What I do remember is driving the hour back to my house and crying and not knowing why because I wasn’t upset, and knowing that my life was moving in a direction that it needed to be.

The one scene turned into another, and another. A bond began to form. I became her student. She introduced me to her friends, and I started going to her club regularly. And then one night the theme was Midsummer Night’s Dream.

I had decided to go with a costume of briefs, blue butterfly wings, and some elaborate face makeup. Someone suggested I enter the costume contest, and the costume was so silly that I won third place. I was enjoying the hell out of that when a very attractive woman complimented me on the costume, and then turned to introduce me to one of her friends…. “Have you met Naked Fairy?”

I turned around to see Elisabeth smiling happily. “Oh,” she laughed. “I already know him. He’s Mine.”

It’s hard to explain. I didn’t think she was attaching any particular significance to it; it was the very fact that it was an offhand comment that struck me. She wasn’t bragging, or marking territory, she was just making a statement of how she knew me. And it warmed me.

I have said before that from that moment on, I was Hers. Writing this again, I realize that’s not quite true. From that moment, I knew I was Hers. I had been becoming more and more attached to her, and from that moment, I was aware of it. I began to worry that I would fall in love with her. And I really began to dread the day that she decided my training was complete, and that the relationship would change, and that I wouldn’t be hers.

It wasn’t long after that that our lives got crazy. Through no planning or intention, we didn’t see each other for almost six months. About once a month, one of us would text the other, we’d catch up on what was going on in each other’s lives, say we missed each other, and then another month would pass. Then we each got our lives under control, and then it was back to the way it always was. Interestingly enough, we never talk about that hiatus. It’s not like denial; it’s just… not worth mentioning. There was no drama, no hurt feelings, no issue…. It was just one of those inconvenient things that’s over and you don’t think about it.

And shortly after that, she told me that she’d been thinking about our Teacher/student relationship, and that she felt we had grown beyond that point. Would I be interested in a more permanent and official submissive role? Yes, Ma’am, I would.

We decided that the best dynamic would be pet, and when we thought about what kind of pet I would be, we settled on an Artificial Intelligence/Android named Beta Five. It was one of those things where we took a couple of weeks to figure out, but by the time we had, it was just obvious. It was like we had decided what was already true, and it crystallised our relationship.

My name is Beta Five. I am the pet of Miss Elisabeth. She is the only woman in my life who I don’t doubt. I am a part of her family; there is a sign hanging over her guest bed that identifies it as “Five’s Bed”, and when my collar is not on my neck, she keeps it on her altar. When she gives me an instruction, I am pleased to obey. When she smiles at me, it warms me. When she tells me she loves me, I believe her, and that is something with which I have great difficulty. She has never told me to trust her—she doesn’t have to. I am Hers.

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This post is part of a project to share happy, positive femdom relationship stories.  If you have a story and are willing to share it, please email it to me (ferns at domme-chronicles dot com).

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