I often want to point folks who ask to a decent book list, so now I can… huzzah!

I have shamelessly copied (with permission) and added to the non-fiction part of an excellent book list put together by ResidentSadist. Note that most of the summaries are his, so have a maledom perspective.

If anyone wants to recommend other books, with a brief description, please add them into the comments.

Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual
by Christina Abernathy
Down-to-earth information, elegantly written, about how consensual owner-slave relationships really work. Realistic, detailed descriptions of slave duties, symbols, sexual exchange, rewards, punishments, contracts and more.

Training With Miss Abernathy : A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners
by Christina Abernathy
Training with Miss Abernathy is the follow up to Christine Abernathy’s excellent book on BDSM training “Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual”. As the book states, her first book is the theory, while the second book is the practice. The manual contains fifty lessons designed to help the reader explore various elements of BDSM service.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns : The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
by Philip Miller, Molly Devon, William A. Granzig
Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics–bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It’s written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it’s easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration.

SM 101 : A Realistic Introduction
by Jay Wiseman
SM 101 surveys the entire spectrum of consensual sadomasochistic practices from from bondage, to spanking, to erotic role-playing, and more. Now in an expanded second edition, SM 101 includes a new chapter on starting and running sadomasochistic organizations and events for consenting adults.

The Loving Dominant
by John Warren
The Loving Dominant is one of the basics. It should be–and often is–required reading before a new partner is willing to consider playing. It covers not only the how-to’s, the who’s, the what’s and the when’s, but the why’s, as well as providing some great inspirational examples of scenes.

The Ethical Slut : A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
Warm, informative details about how to get your needs met, manage your jealousy, make agreements that work for all concerned, talk to your friends and relatives, and build a life full of all the sex and love you want. This book is a great guide for all who are considering changing their twosome to a threesome or other add-on to their primary sex relationship.

The Topping Book : Or, Getting Good at Being Bad
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
This is book was a very fun and informative read. It talks about the rights and responsibilities of the Top and what it is like to be a top. It tells you that Tops and bottoms are equals. Dossie and Catherine are always very good about including all genders, preferences, and relationships.

The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People
by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt
Catherine & Dossie give us another great book. It is short and concise and very helpful. The sections on the psychological effects are particularly well explained. The authors repeatedly validate the experience of the person-as-bottom, whether that person identifies solely as a bottom or as a top who desires to experience bottoming, or as the in-betweener who likes it all.

Different Loving : The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
by Gloria G. Brame, Jon Jacobs, Will Brame
They begin by asking “What is normal ?” and note that if “normal” means reproductive relevance as in the Victorian standard, then few are normal. What is clear is that what is painful for some is pleasurable for others, what is unacceptable for some is delightful for others, what is frightening for some is a natural high for others.

Bound to Be Free : The SM Experience
by Charles Moser, J. J. Madeson
Of the vast array of human sexual behaviors and practices, sadomasochism (SM) is probably the least understood and, thus, the most feared among the general public. Moser and Madeson here provide perhaps the first intelligent, fully informed, fact-based discussion of what SM is, what it means to its practitioners, how it is practiced, and the structure of its subculture in contemporary American society.

The Leatherman’s Handbook: Silver Jubilee Edition
by Larry Townsend, Jack Fritscher
A good introduction to the gay male SM world of the early 1970s revised briefly for the 2000 edition. It gives a good basic overview of the history of “Old Guard” as well as insights into how different from and similar to gay SM s from het SM.

The Leatherman’s Handbook: The Original
by Larry Townsend
Anyone wanting to learn the “Old Guard” ways will find many of its roots here.

Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up and Talk Hot
by Carol Queen
Carol Queen is absolutely the best. She makes sense out of feelings most people share but are afraid to admit. You should read this little book, especially if you have any shy tendencies. We would all live fuller lives if we could follow half of her truths.

Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking
by Race Bannon
Race Bannon provides some much-appreciated accurate information in this honest and straightforward basic guide to S/M. He explodes prevalent myths about S/M and replaces them with a playground of erotic fantasy and an emphasis on consensuality. Possibly the most important trait of this book, though, is that it’s delightfully devoid of the “This is the One True Way” trap evident in too many sexuality manuals. Delightful examples of questions and issues that commonly come up during negotiation, useful for both the novice just learning to say yes, and the more experienced hand who has met a new partner. The chapter on “S/M Technique” includes good basic safety and sensation information. A recommended reading list, and a glossary. –Cheryl Trooskin

Sensuous Magic 2 Ed: A Guide to S/M for Adventurous Couples
by Patrick Califia-Rice
Need help with your riding-crop technique? Wonder how to wrap your husband like a mummy? Sensuous Magic has the answers. Writer, therapist, and sex radical Patrick Califia-Rice has updated his classic introduction to S/M and power play to embrace couples of all persuasions and at every stage of experience. Although not a comprehensive technical guide (you will need a book on rope bondage, for instance, if you want to learn appropriate knots and techniques), Califia-Rice’s text offers insightful warnings, advice, and commentary, the kind of guidance you might expect from a seasoned mentor. It is especially well-suited to daring beginners, who can learn the basics on safety and communication, while being titillated by more advanced topics like whip selection and master/slave contracts. –Regina Marler

Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Couples
by Pat Califia
Sensuous Magic is clear, succinct and engaging even for the reader for whom S/M isn’t the sexual behavior of choice. Califia’s prose is soothing, informative and non-judgmentalshe both instructs her reader and explores the territory for them. When she is writing about the dynamics of sex and the technical aspects of it, Califia is the Dr. Ruth of the alternative sexuality set.

The Bride Wore Black Leather…And He Looked Fabulous!: An Etiquette Guide for the Rest of Us
by Drew Campbell
This is an excellent, helpful guide to etiquette for folks who didn’t think Miss Manners would work for them – although, as Drew slyly implies, she could! The book offers common-sense advice told humorously and well for folks who move regularly in non-traditional roles and relationship structures.

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance
by Lorelei
It’s everything the author says and more. One of the few books that stresses that this should be done for the couple’s mutual pleasure. I also think it may be the only book out there that comes from a monogamous loving relationship viewpoint – not that is the only way to go in this lifestyle but very rarely talked about. It’s fun, human, and very very helpful.

Ferns note: The above is an opinion from a male dominant point of view, some female dominants that I respect are quite scathing about this book:
“it has its place for a couple who only want the female half to facilitate the guy’s fantasies AND the guy’s fantasies totally align with many typical fantasies” – Carolyn

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners
by Lady Green
This was a wonderful book for the curious beginner. It was written in a very clear and open style, defining terms as it went along. The author was careful to explain drawbacks as well as benefits of different types of dominant/submissive play, and gave many safety tips as she went along. Many suggestions for further reading were also given. The book is best for the beginner to BDSM, and works well for both dominant and submissive as a reference. For more experienced players, the safety reminders would be most useful.

Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices
by Brenda Love, Paul Mavrides
What other people do for their pleasure is often shocking–and fascinating. That’s why Brenda Love’s authoritative and entertaining book is so mesmerizing. From adultery and birth control to computer sex and pubic hair sculpture, Love probes more than 700 topics, including both norms and extremes. 150 line drawings.

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage
by Midori, Craig Morey
Midori shows step by step how to achieve beautiful and exciting Japanese bondage on a variety of genders and body types. Each chapter starts with a spectacular, tasteful full-color photo of the finished bondage pose – then goes back and explains with text and line art how each rope and knot is placed to achieve the final result.

The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man
by Laura Doyle
Surrendering is coming to terms with reality–that YOU are the only one YOU can change. Doyle gives practical tips and tools for replacing critical, controlling, or nagging behaviors with respect, trust and gratitude. A surrendered wife bravely and courageously commits to making a loving, nurturing marriage the most important goal of all — and she will receive that and so much more. This book is easy to read, practical, and best of all it WORKS!

Ferns note: Apply liberally to male submissive

The following reviews are by me:

Family Jewels: A guide to male genital play and torment
by Hardy Haberman
An easy to read guide to CBT. It covers basic anatomy, types of play, techniques, ideas and safety. Has some diagrams also and some really corny, cute and funny stories that are best read out loud to each other to break the ice…

Uniquely Rika
by Ms Rika
This book comes highly recommended by quite a few dominant women who post on Fetlife. It is described as providing “a practical, intelligent, common-sense approach to adding D/s to your relationship; with long-termed success.”
What I liked: It debunks the myth that dominance is all about ‘what the dominant will do to him’ in favour of ‘what the submissive can do for her’. That’s great information.
What I didn’t like: It assumes that the dominant wants service and the submissive wants play. It seems to come from the perspective that play is no fun for the dominant, that it’s a ‘gift’ for the submissive to be doled out not for HER pleasure, but for his. That didn’t sit well with me. Still, worth a read for the underlying perspective.