60 facts about me

This random list came out of a little game on Twitter (you follow me on the Twitter, right? Of course you do! Then you know all of this already…).

  1. I have sex toys that I have literally never used. Virgin sex toys: that’s a thing, right?
  2. I usually masturbate every day, even if I don’t really feel like it
  3. Re number 2: I have a genuine fear that if I don’t keep my (literal… heh) hand in, my libido will disappear (‘use it or lose it’)
  4. I don’t really understand people who have very elaborate masturbation sessions: lots of toys, lots of time, just… who can be bothered?
  5. Re 4: I feel like I’m missing out on some magical experience, but every time I think about trying it I also think ‘arrggghh so much work’
  6. My internet is so fucking slow that Tumblr is almost unusable. This is not a bad thing: Tumblr is a time suck of pretties
  7. Bit scared I will run out of things to tell you if I get too many of these. Y’all can stop now. I’m not that interesting…
  8. If I know your full name, I will google the hell out of you if I’m interested and like you. I MUST KNOW ALL THE THINGS
  9. Dude I contacted from the dating site is 6’7. Google says 6’9. I guess if you’re that tall a couple inches it doesn’t matter much…
  10. Update on that guy: I need to check the dating site for messages. I don’t get notifications from ANY dating sites. The internet hates me
  11. Tallest man I’ve dated was 6’5. I made him stop in front of a shop front on our first date so I could look at the height difference. I don’t know why, but he didn’t SEEM tall.
  12. Bambi (6’2) and the Cougarling (6’3) DID seem tall: HOT! I think I have a height fetish.
  13. Coincidentally: song on rage right now has Iggy Pop yelling at me that he’s 5’1 (he’s not, he’s 5’7, I looked it up).
  14. I used to masturbate with a soft-skinned baby doll I had when I was a child. What kind of toy maker makes dolls out of Vixskin?! :P
  15. I once asked a foot fetishist to polish my toenails. He was 100% not interested in that & refused. Filed under ‘submissives who aren’t’
  16. The 3 silver thumb rings I wear were really cheap. I’ve had them over 20 yrs, surprised they are still in great shape. Love them so much
  17. 99% of the time, breakfast is coffee and fried eggs.
  18. I used to play piano. Used to keep my hand in with Solfegietto which sounds impressive, but is easy to play.  I can’t even play that piece any more. Suspect I’d struggle with chopsticks now
  19. My eye-hand co-ordination is woeful. Being tall & athletic-looking sets false expectations for every sports-minded person I’ve ever met
  20. The first time I felt random lust was Baryshnikov’s slow splits up against a wall (this whole bit, unf)

    GET OUT OF THE FRAME HINES, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR AWKWARD FLAILING!

  21. I find renovation and house hunting shows entertaining. I don’t even know why. Maybe I just like to see how other people live.
  22. My next book is ‘How to Find a Female Dominant’: I’m paralysed by the boundaries of the topic because it’s HUGE & I want ‘short & sharp’
  23. My hair is really mostly silver-grey under the blonde. One day I will do a full Dame Judi Dench*
    *Goddess
  24. I think motorbikes are sexy. Not least because when a man is sitting on one, it accentuates his V-shape. Plus leathers :)
  25. I used to have a scooter. If I ever walked around with my helmet, I felt like I was faking being a cool biker chick
  26. I let two boys have a go on my scooter at different times. They both crashed it because ‘ha ha cute girlie toy, imma show off’ *crash*
  27. When people send me friend requests on FL without a message, I look at their feed: Is it going to add to my FL experience?
    No?
    ‘Reject’
  28. I hate being cold. My hands and feet tend to be really freezing in winter. Which is actually useful for bedtime torture :)
  29. I never watch TV series until the entire series is done. I’d rather wait 2 months for the lot than wait a week between episodes.
  30. I envy ppl their positive experiences with dating, their ability to easily find ppl to get excited about (even if it doesn’t pan out)
  31. I keep a spreadsheet of relationships & meaningful encounters I’ve had. Nerding out my sex life :P
  32. My incredibly sweet german shepherd lived a happy life for 13 years. This is her being adorable with my flatmate’s kitten, RingwormHead
  33. I love fabulous lingerie, but I never wear the little that I have. Very much a ‘black g-string & done’ kind of woman
  34. re 34. For example, I tried on and loved and did not buy this, but look how gorgeous!
  35. I have never sent a picture of my pussy to anyone ever. I can’t imagine I ever would
  36. When I read stories about sex clubs, the bodily fluids (usually not cum: squirting, ‘wetness’) on beds/couches/chairs squick me out
  37. I think it would be fun to attend a BDSM event in a full gimp mask. I’ve only put one on once, I felt & looked scary and powerful
  38. I avoid using people’s names: I’m so forgetful that I’m scared I’ll get them wrong. It’s easier than you’d think
  39. I do not own a single pair of shorts.
  40. I don’t like texting. Not just because I’m bad at it (in terms of proficiency), but because there is an expectation of immediacy. Nope.
  41. I really like to cuddle on the couch and binge watch something good. Maybe some popcorn, champagne, kissing
  42. I have 4 laptops in my house. Two don’t work at all, one shuts down whenever it feels like it (Simon!), George is my current love
    Bahahaha! Simon heard me and went ‘nup’. So now I have THREE that don’t work at all. And George :P
  43. When I buy junk food (rarely), I buy ALL THE THINGS. Then I will have one bit of it & I’ll be over it. But then it’s in the house sooo..
  44. I pee in the shower (come on, like you don’t!)
  45. I like the idea of baths better than I like *actual* baths
  46. I wear glasses for distance. I don’t *need* them (ie they’re not very strong), but I don’t like to drive at night without them
  47. For someone who lives at the beach, I don’t go to the beach very often. But I love to know that it’s RIGHT THERE if I want to :P
  48. (yes still going, a couple more snuck in!) I hate & loathe being patronised. You can fuck right off with that condescending bullshit
  49. I rarely get really angry. Annoyed, irritated, pissed off, sure. But genuinely angry takes a very special kind of badness
  50. I lived in London for about four years back in the day, the longest I have lived outside of Australia
  51. I’ve also lived in Amsterdam, Calgary, Galway… I feel like I’m missing at least one other, but I mentioned my appalling memory, right?
  52. While I’m on travel: 108+ cities in 38+ countries (more since I did this map):
    Where I have been?
  53. I had no date for the school formal. Towered over all the boys in heels: First time I said ‘fuck it’
  54. If I ever behave poorly in whatever way/s, I will beat myself up over it forever. Easier just to avoid doing it in the first place.
  55. Re 55: Of COURSE I’ve behaved poorly, done things I’m ashamed of. I don’t live easily with them: The discomfort is a good reminder
  56. I’m so not a cat person.
    BUT LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE KITTEN THAT CLAMBERED UP ON MY SHOULDER FOR CUDDLES OMG *doesn’t move forever*
  57. I really never get bored when left to my own devices: I can endlessly entertain myself
  58. To me “junk food” = ‘anything I can’t have in the house because I will eat it all’. E.g. macadamias: junk food, cashews: nope
  59. I have named my car (Royal Highness), my laptops (Simon, George) & my coffee machines (Carl, Calvin II).
    I mean, come on: who doesn’t?!
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12 Comments

  1. Fun! Thank goodness for silly Twitter games! So many wonderful bits of fun randomness! I once nearly killed my sister on a scooter I procured via quasi-legal means in a sketchy Mediterranean country. Also, 35. Yes, 35. And 57!

  2. 14. I used to masturbate with a soft-skinned baby doll I had when I was a child. What kind of toy maker makes dolls out of Vixskin?! :P

    …. wha ……. what?

    33. My incredibly sweet german shepherd lived a happy life for 13 years. This is her being adorable with my flatmate’s kitten, RingwormHead

    Yeeeeessssss! I always knew it! You’re a dog person!

    45. I pee in the shower (come on, like you don’t!)

    Monster. Don’t piss in the shower unless it’s in pursuit of “special romance”.

    46. I like the idea of baths better than I like *actual* baths

    Is your shower integrated with the bathtub like in most English bathrooms? If so, might be more appealing if your bathtub wasn’t full of piss from the last shower?

    47. I wear glasses for distance. I don’t *need* them (ie they’re not very strong), but I don’t like to drive at night without them

    Nerd.

    [At night your iris’ dilate reducing the effective natural focusing ability of your eyes, and increasing the need the artificial focusing assistance (think of a pinhole camera where the pinhole gets larger and focus is rapidly lost)]

    Yours,

    “I named my car too”

    1. There’s no “natural focusing ability” for the eyes. That’s all governed by the muscles that bend and flex the lens, and which are driven by the brain. You’re also confusing focus with depth of field, where a smaller aperture has a greater depth of field and a larger aperture a smaller depth of field.

  3. Thank you for sharing. I found that all quite interesting :D

    #23. Are you sure you are supposed to share that secret? They might kick you out of the hive mind for doing so :P

    First time I got on a bike was Pee Wee 50 as a kid. Yeah, I crashed it in about 1-2 seconds :P I learned to do it properly as an adult (honest!).

    1. I’m glad you found it interesting :).

      #23. Are you sure you are supposed to share that secret? They might kick you out of the hive mind for doing so :P

      *smile* Well, I get asked that question (and see that question asked) so many times I may as well put all of my endless wisdom somewhere so I can point to it and see if they’re willing to invest a whole $2.99 in themselves or if that’s just TOO MUCH, YOU MONEY GRUBBING FINDOM YOU SHOULD SPEND ALL YOUR TIME AND EFFORT ON ME FOR FREE GEEZ WHAT A BITCH YOUSE ARE ALL THE SAME and etc.

      In which case, good luck with that… :P.

      And my Domme-card and domly propeller hat are ready to be handed back any day now…

      Ferns

  4. Many caught my attention but 39 provides comfort in seeing there are others. I struggle to use peoples names so I sound polite but fear saying the wrong thing. Then other times there just seems to be no right name… like my mother-in-law of 25 years who I have not addressed more than 2 or 3 times over that entire time…. and at this point how would one start? Easier just to skip it. Thanks for the support :)

    1. Oh gosh… yes, there is absolutely a point where it’s waaaayyy too late to tackle things with established relationships.

      I’ve found that the only time names REALLY become an issue are if you have to introduce people (just kill me now!), if you are referring to them (good reason never to talk about people…) or if you have to get their attention in a group situation (hey… um… you!).

      While that sounds like a lot of circumstances, they are kind of outliers. In one-on-one situations using someone’s name actually sounds a little odd, so I’ve found it easy enough to cover.

      Ferns

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