Holy fucking what? Crossfit

In the fine tradition of having ZERO femdom or sex content on a femdom sex blog, here’s another post with no femdom and no sex…

I mentioned that I had gone to two weeks of ‘intro to crossfit’ classes. Those 6 sessions were about teaching the moves and proper form and getting used to the format. So there was talk, practice, and then getting in a 10-15 minute workout.

If you don’t know what crossfit is, it’s a particular kind of ‘old school’ workout regime with basic moves and equipment like the kind you might have done before high tech gym equipment was invented. The promo videos all show uber fit ‘raawwrrr’ people with muscle-abs-game grunting through impossible moves instead of actually showing what it’s like, but this one is the closest I could find (thank god my gym doesn’t put people’s names and timings up on a board: if they did that, I would never go back).

It relies on constantly varied, high-intensity, functional movement and mixes up cardio and weights for really intense, short burst combinations, and that mix is my kryptonite. One or the other: okay. Combine them and I’m toast.

This is my first week of ‘proper’ crossfit: I have attended two sessions and man, it’s brutal.

To show you what I’m doing, this was today’s WOD (Workout Of the Day – they love their acronyms!):

Warmup
Short run
Walking lunges
Pushups
Air squats
Some other things I can’t remember, but on Monday there were handstands in there. Aw hell no!

Weightlifting
(the numbers all mean something about reps and timing, but other than % being % of max load, I forget what. We did a bunch anyway :P)
Clean and jerk 1/3 75% 2/2 80%, 1/2 , 85%

Metcon (Metabolic Conditioning)
Timed (I have no idea of timings)
Run 1km (I rowed because… knees!)
4 rounds of the following:
7 hang power clean & push press
14 kettleball swings
21 wall balls

On paper it looks kind of okay. But it’s not. Really really not. It was not *quite* ‘I’m going to throw up and then pass out’ brutal, but it’s in that realm. More of an ‘I have nothing left and I can’t breathe DON’T FUCKING COME NEAR ME!!’ kind of brutal.

So how’s it going? I hate it: I hate going there at a specified time, I hate the group thing, I hate being bad at it, I hate being bad at it *in* a group, I hate that it makes me feel weak, I hate having to make nice with people, I hate *everything about it*. And on top of all of that (or more accurately, *because* of all of that), I find the whole thing really stressful before I even get there.

But it’s also *really* good for me. I’m bad at pushing myself. I know this. I will think ‘Nope, I’m done’ and if there isn’t someone to say ‘You aren’t: just do 5 more’, I will just stop. With someone standing there and giving me a push, I’m all ‘Fuck you, I’ll do TEN MORE, BITCH!’ But I can’t get there on my own. Stupid brain.

On the plus side a fabulously gorgeous androgynous looking woman and a very fit looking Japanese man helped me put my gear away since I was obviously incapable of functioning after the session.

I have a month’s membership. This is week one. I will absolutely do the full month, three times a week, but crossfit is stupidly expensive here, so I won’t be doing it long term (ask me again if I magically find myself with a six pack after a month. Heh).

In the meantime, you can expect lots of whining about it on twitter…

GD Star Rating
loading...

You may also like

10 Comments

  1. Thanks for describing the workout! I have been curious, and while I have asked my college about it, his descriptions are rather short, so this has given me a much clearer idea.

    Cheers!

    1. *smile* I knew what you meant.

      It’s surprisingly hard to find an actual filmclip showing what a typical workout *looks* like (I looked for waaaay too long on youtube for that first clip showing ordinary people at a crossfit class). There are plenty of sample WODs on the internet, but it’s all gobbledygook because of the acronyms.

      It’s all a bit like a secret cult…

      Ferns

  2. I looked into the crossfit thing, and not only was it to expensive right now, but with my crumbling infrastructure, (including rattly knees, treacherous ankles, and sore/swollen elbow) I don’t think I could survive a month of it.

    I think I’ll just stick with going to the gym when I can make it.

    1. Yes, I am terrified of injury, and after a week I’m already noticing that I am saying ‘yeah, not doing that’ or ‘can’t do that’ way too often due to decrepitude.

      When I attempt some of the exercises, I’m finding that the right muscles don’t get worked because something *else* hurts first (e.g. my abs don’t get a workout when I’m hanging from a bar because of wrist and arm pain (and not ‘it’s weak and will get stronger’ pain, but ‘that’s not good’ pain).

      I did rebound box jumps today for the first time (and trust me they did *not* look elegant like this guy). I will have to see what my ankles and knees have to say about that over the weekend.

      Ferns

    1. Heh. Thank you for saying it looks bad!! It IS bad!

      But then when I write it down, I think ‘Eh, it doesn’t look that bad…’ Ugh.

      And thanks for the luck also *smile*.

      Ferns

  3. I hate going there at a specified time, I hate the group thing, I hate being bad at it, I hate being bad at it *in* a group, I hate that it makes me feel weak, I hate having to make nice with people, I hate *everything about it*.

    Dont’ hold back, Ferns – tell us how you really feel!.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.