Sent emails XLI: A balloon fetish

I replied to a personal ad offering chores in return for blowing up balloons. It was so unusual it caught my eye.

The honesty in his ad, which presented a pretty straightforward transactional exchange, was actually much more refreshing than the ‘NSA housework’ ones with hidden agendas.

I was honest about being more curious than interested, but you never know.

____

I saw your ad and I was curious if you wouldn’t mind indulging me.

I should say up-front that I am very cautious about allowing a stranger into my house, so I am not sure if I am really a candidate for the exchange of service that you are offering. I don’t want you to feel misled by my interest since it is mostly idle curiosity both about your services and about your balloon fetish that prompted me to write.

Please feel free to beg off if you aren’t interested in answering just to satisfy my curiosity. I will completely understand.

IF I was to take you up on it, I’m mostly interested in cleaning duties, so I’m wondering about your experience. I’d like to know how you would go about cleaning the following (preferred product/s and technique):

  • Glass doors (an example of the kind of answer I am after: Rub them all over with baby oil using my hands, then wipe off with a damp squid, and finish with a spray of eau de cologne)
  • Sliding windows
  • How do you ensure there are no streaks on glass?
  • Carpet
  • Glossy floor tiles
  • Tiled decks
  • Shower and glass shower screens
  • Do you do car cleaning also?

Other questions to get an idea of your expectations:

  • Is there a particular way you want to feel when doing chores, or are they simply something you do in exchange for the balloon blowing?
  • How do you like to be instructed on the jobs you are being given?
  • What do you like to wear while you are working?
  • Do you need to be supervised when you are doing them?
  • What do you expect to happen if something isn’t done right?
  • What sort of interaction do you expect from me while you are working?
  • What sort of timeframe do you offer service for (ie how many hours)?
  • What days/times are you available?

On blowing up the balloons:

  • I assume that the point is that you watch me blow up balloons?
  • How many? Of the size in your photos?
  • About how long does that take (they are huge balloons!)?
  • Describe what that scenario would look like (where would I be, where would you be, what are our interactions like, what do you do with the balloons when they are blown up)
  • Anything else that I would need to know about this if I was to decide this was a good idea?

Thank you for your indulgence (and again, please do feel free to say that you don’t want to answer my questions if there is no firm intent to use your services: I will not be offended at all).

Ferns

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15 Comments

    1. It’s certainly original. And thanks *smile*.

      I’ve only once previously talked to someone about service and I realise that matching expectations is key to making it work.

      Ferns

  1. Curious and interesting all in one package really I really need to know more about the uses of squid in cleaning windows though, I mean wouldn’t they get it all inky and such ?
    Coug

    1. He did. Very politely, but not to my satisfaction (that is, he glossed over the questions as if they weren’t important).

      There is a lot of information about this fetish on the internet. I might do a follow up post if I can do so without feeling as if I am exposing him.

      Ferns

  2. I must say that I really like the tenor of your response – curious, non-judgemental, and matter-of-fact. I hope you’ll let us all know whether this leads to anything or not. Your list of questions about cleaning techniques seems pretty exacting to me, but with luck he’ll know exactly which sea creature is ideal for each of the tasks you mentioned. A carpet anemone for the carpet, obviously – any fool could get that one!

    1. Thanks.

      “Your list of questions about cleaning techniques seems pretty exacting to me”

      *smile* Well, I don’t have any experience with submissives offering housework, but I DO know enough to be aware that some have literally NO IDEA how to do basic chores. Cue frustration and disappointment on both sides.

      “but with luck he’ll know exactly which sea creature is ideal for each of the tasks you mentioned. A carpet anemone for the carpet, obviously – any fool could get that one!”

      Not just sea creatures! I’d have accepted a carpet snake for the carpet as well, natch.

      Ferns

      1. Actually, I think your email was fantastic, respectful, and well thought out. I’m an experienced service sub and an email like that would make me think that the Domme knew what she was doing. Because you’re right, MANY service-oriented subs that want cleaning arrangements don’t know the first thing about actually cleaning things.

        I’m fortunate in this regard, mainly that I clean professionally, so no one questions whether I know how. It sort of speaks for itself that I’m good enough at it that people are willing to pay for my services.

        1. Thank you: I really appreciate the compliment from someone who is experienced with service-type arrangements *smile*.

          I think mismatched expectations on either side can cause a big mess with service situations. The ability to actually provide the service offered is the first, but I know that even when the exchange seems straight-forward it may not be.

          I just read your latest: It sounds like things are going well for you. Congratulations *smile*.

          Ferns

  3. You’re welcome and I agree about mismatched expectations. There is a fair amount of people with kinky fantasies dancing in their heads, and sometimes the reality winds up not being what they thought. Certainly, there are plenty of good service subs out there that genuinely enjoy it and know what they’re in for, but it does take some weeding.

    And thanks! It’s shaping up to be a really good, mutually-nurturing relationship with a level of chemistry that I haven’t felt in a very long time. I feel very glad that we met and even moreso that she crossed my path the second time. I almost missed out on something awesome. :)

  4. Ms. Ferns,
    I have followed your adventures from the beginning, and my heart aches that you have yet to encounter a true service-oriented submissive. If only I were in Australia.
    I have been a domestic sub for decades, beginning with making up the bed for my girlfriend while I was still in high school. She thought I was odd. I thought I was fulfilling my destiny.
    From your writing, I totally understand that I am not the sort of man that you have emotional ties to, and that works for me. I wish to worship my Mistress, but not be romantically entangled.
    I am very good at domestic chores. I can handle everything from minor electrical problems to sewing emergencies.
    I can envision a typical day in your service. 30 minutes prior your rising, I will let myself into your house, and begin heating water for your coffee or tea. Being cognizant of your dietary needs, I will probably begin to prepare an egg-white omelette with artichoke hearts , a small slab of goat cheese, and a splash of sriracha. Wheat toast and English marmalade with bitter Seville orange will accompany. The aroma of the coffee will serve as your alarm clock.
    Am I boring you, or would you like my to continue?

    1. Thank you for being with me for so long *smile*.

      As you alluded to, I don’t seek service submissives: this one struck me for the clarity of his expectations and the originality of his fetish.

      Your idea of service sounds perfectly lovely, but you know what? As an introvert, I find the idea of having someone in my house (especially when I wake up) really stressful. Even when I *employed* someone to come and clean, I felt on edge if I was home when they came around.

      I do vaguely wonder if I could get over it because I like the *idea* of service (not that I think there are many pure service orientated submissives around…). I’m not sure to be honest.

      I liked very much your original and detailed breakfast, thank you *smile*.

      Though really, unless you are going to deliver so that I can see how I deal with accepting service, continuing is just teasing. I’m sure you would never be so cruel…

      Ferns

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